Would you relocate?

KatiAndMatthew · October 2013

My husband and I currently live in a city we love, with jobs we love, but are 3.5 hours away from family and close friends. We're considering moving to a city where some friends live, which would put us about 1.5 hours away from family. We would love to be closer to family (not necessarily in the same city) and friends, but we're afraid to leave a city and jobs we're really happy in. What would you do? Give up the area and jobs you love to be closer to family and friends, or keep what we have and travel farther to see those we love? BTW, we are renting a home where we are now, are relatively early in our careers (26 & 27 years old), and wouldn't move without at least one of us first securing a job in the new city. Any advice or suggestions helps! Thanks!

Ilumine · October 2013

I would never EVER choose where I live just for access to my family (and I am what you would call a bit emeshed with my mother's side).

EVER.

1) job security AND satisfaction are more important than being able to stop over Mommy's house once a week. Mommy isnt going to pay your bills (if she does, then you arent a grown up) or give you a smile during the work day.

2) god forbid, but what happens in 20 years when your parents are dead and your siblings/cousins are working on their own lives? Who will emotionally support you then?

And if you are thinking (after you just read that), well I will have other friends by then, won't you have been able to make other friends in your current location?

3) I have lived all over the world (military) and I can honestly say, loving the AREA you live in is very important. Family and Friends can only do so much if you cannot connect to your location. I am NOT a beach person and I live in a beach resort area right now. There is absolutely NOTHING TO DO other than the beach...which doesnt help Oct through May (the weather is warm, but the water is still a bit chilly). DH and I are mountain people. Neither of our families live in the mountains. Guess what, we wont be moving near them when this tour is done.

4) Strong relationships are not based on blood. I love my sister. I have stronger relationships with a couple of the women here then I have ever had with her. And my BFF that I made at our last duty station is my go to person, even though she lives 13 hours away.

5) Again, my military experiences, I have found that it usually takes people about 1 year to get fully settled into a new place enough to start investing in friends and well loving their location. Until then, your feelings about your location may not be accurate.

6) Finally you are only 3.5 away. That is a weekend trip. Unless you plan on seeing your family more than once every other weekend or so, what is the necessity for moving closer?

Again, I LOVE my family.

EastCoastBride · October 2013

To a degree, I see what Illumine is saying. I wouldn't move based on family alone.

However, this other city that you're considering moving to - what do you know about it? Do you feel it will offer you what you presently have? You love your jobs -that's means a LOT. But you mind find a job you equally love in the other city.

I don't know - when it comes down to it, this is all a bunch of unknowns. You could move and hate your job, or hate the city. Or you could love both. Who knows.

In the end, you have ot figure out in your heart what YOU and your DH really want.

DH and I moved away from family and friends for 3 years. We ended up moving back. Now- a part of it was the area. We just never really felt that it was "home". If we had felt that, we would have stayed - but it just didn't work out that way.

But I love being near family and our friends. Especially now that I have kid. Seeing the relationship he has /w my parents - worth everything. He wouldn't have that if we lived further away.

TarponMonoxide · October 2013

Don't fix what's not broken. Stay where you are.:)

31/2 hours is nothing these days. there's email, the phone and skype.

Leftie22 · October 2013

I recently relocated far away from family, and there are always ways to stay in touch. The only reason we relocated is because we hated our city (cold), we're having issues with DH's family, I decided not to go back to work after having my son and getting pregnant again, and DH was out of work. Now, I love my city, love being a SAHM here, DH loves his job and we're far from family. I'm totally okay with that. Family is great, but realistically, you're at your job every single day, and only see your family a fraction of that time. I think it's more important to have day-to-day happiness in your life and job. You'll always find time for family, no matter where you are. So no, in your situation, I probably wouldn't move.

Janessadawn · October 2013

Convince your family and friends to move closer to you!

ClaryPax · October 2013

It depends on your reason for moving. I wouldn't move for friends or family as a young 20 something with a great job. However, if you find a better job that you will both love more in the new location than sure. Or if you are planning to have kids and will need the support of family and friends it might be a goal. I certainly wouldn't do it now unless you find that awesome job for both of you.

R.Wilsonny · October 2013

Same as what others have said. I wouldn't let the family or even friends be the deciding factor on relocation. Remember, you and your H are now married and your own family unit. If you both are happy where you are, then stay.

When we were looking to buy a house, my H was concerned about being away from friends. Mind you, we bought a house that is seriously 20-30 minutes driving from all of them, and I told him - we cannot think about our friends in this big decision because they sure won't be thinking about us when they decide to buy a house, we need to do what's best for our family and our future. And it's true. We don't even live far from any of them and it's not like they come visit us since Long Island to them is a foreign country.

If you guys are happy, stay where you are. If some opportunity presents itself where you would be equally happy somewhere else, then move. Just don't do it because of family and friends.

DLB&MRB · November 2013

I agree with all the other ladies. I wouldn't move just to be close to family and friends. Now, I love my mommy but I am slick pushing the idea to my husband that I want to move but his mom wants us right under her! Ahhh no mam'.. If you guys are happy then stay don't move!

xoxo

BeckyOff · November 2013

To sum up your post: "I'm happy with my life. Should I change things?"

3 1/2 hours is nothing. You could totally day trip that if you wanted, but it's a perfect overnight trip. A little distance between couples and their families is a good thing.

Maybride2 · November 2013

There's certainly no harm in looking for new jobs in the city that closer to your old friends and family. And if you both find new jobs that you think you will enjoy and that will pay you what you'd be happy making, then there's absolutely no harm in moving and seeing how it goes.

I would just make sure that those things are in place before you move. Don't count on your friends and family to completely compensate for leaving the city and jobs that you claim to love; there's a real possibility that they won't be able to do that. Make sure that your new house and new jobs bring you enough joy that it won't matter what your friends and family are doing.

avaross09 · December 2013

I think relocation should not be a problem if you are relocating all together.Some times need to sacrifice our precious things for a better solution, thus there are people who travel a lot for their jobs.

Would you relocate?

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