Family Matters
Leftie22
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Eating disorder in the family
My sister has suffered from a host of mental and physical health problems, and it's been an ongoing struggle to know what the root of her problems is, or how to help. I've tried to help in the past, and it blew up in my face, so I backed off in the past few years. However, I now see my sister really struggling, and it feels so wrong not to do something. She has been in treatment for anorexia before, but since then she denies having an eating disorder. However, she now looks painfully thin (I'm sure she's under 100 lbs), her hair is falling out, she hasn't worked in over two years, and is constantly in pain all over her body. She always refuses help especially if it's anything to do with food or her mental health. She believes all her problems are a muscular problem. But then why would she not be able to eat and lose her hair? I guess I'm just feeling helpless, and wondering if anyone else knows someone with similar problems, and if this could all be linked to an eating disorder? Anything I try to say or do just makes her cut off contact, but it's hard to see her look so ill and do nothing. Thanks for reading.
Re: Eating disorder in the family
If she says it isn't an eating disorder, than what does she say it is?
Most people who have weight loss and hair falling out would be at the doc STAT trying to find a cause and to get back to a healthy state. If she is not regularly seeing a doctor and is not under any treatment, than it's most likely an eating disorder. Otherwise, she would be seeing a health care professional for a specific treatment for her disease/illness or trying to ascertain the causes of her body's poor condition.
From what I have read, eating disorders have to do with body image and control. The person suffering fixates on their body or a part of it - that is literally all they are capable of seeing when they look in a mirror.
Life is hard. And, some people cannot manage it mentally very well, so they develop coping mechanisms to get through by providing themselves with something they can totally control. The amount of calories a person consumes is totally within her control. Also, an eating disorder is a sickening cycle. She probably hates starving herself and she probably hates herself for starving her body, but she continues in the cycle because she thinks in her head, "I will stop doing this and hating myself when I attain XYZ weight or XYZ about my body." But, she won't.
As with all other addictions - and this is an addiction of a kind, the person has to want to get help.
Trying searching for eating disorder family support networks online. They probably have helpful tips for what to say/do and not say/do.
I'm sorry you're going through this. No, there isn't much you can do. I went through an eating disorder myself from 13 till 22 and was only able to work through it after I hit rock bottom. I didn't have any relatives who were proactive like you though... they all ignored the problem... but if they had done something I would have reacted the exact same way, by cutting everybody out of my life. It's a very confusing existence. I was 103 pounds at 5'9 and saw rolls of fat on my upper arms and stomach.
If she's anything like I was she feels an unbelievable power the longer she goes without eating, and there is a voice in her head that is telling her constant horrible lies about her body, personality and self worth. She won't give it up until she finds something that's more important.
Whenever I come across someone looking for more information I point them to this website:
http://www.something-fishy.org/
I haven't been there for several years, but it used to be great! I hope it offers you some guidance.