Getting Pregnant
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How to have the TTC talk?

I'm not totally sure this is the right board, but I couldn't really decide where else it should go. Anyway. So, H and I married in August of 2012. He's 32 and I'm 25; we've been together 3 years now. We just purchased our first home. He's always talked about not wanting to be an "old" dad, i.e. not be 60 with teens still at home. He says if he isn't a father by 35 he doesn't want to be one, but I think that was a number he picked before we met. (He also said he wouldn't date anyone under 25 and when we met, I was 22. Ha!) We want to have 2 kids ideally, and possibly be foster parents when our kids are older. While we've often talked about these details, we've never talked about when we want to start.

I want to broach the subject, but don't know what to say. In my head, I think around our 2 year anniversary would be a good time to start. I've always wanted to be a mother; I've always felt more purpose toward being a mother than I have to anything, even a career. (Don't get me wrong, I have a great job, but it's more something I came into than planned upon doing.) The reason I want to have this conversation almost a year in advance is because I want to be enrolled in my work's short term disability program before TTC. It's time for open enrollment, so if I want to start TTC around August I'd have to enroll now. Any advice as to how to start the conversation?
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Re: How to have the TTC talk?

  • Just bring it up exactly how you said it here. Talk to him about open enrollment and where you are at with this. See If it matches his ideas. It is a good thing that you are thinking about this now.
  • Both these ladies are very wise!
  • Ditto what the ladies said. Good luck!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • PP said it best. Lots of luck!
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
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    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • Aimothy and Bruins are so wise!

    It's not a conversation you can just casually lead into. It's something you have to tell him you want to sit down and talk about. I think it's great you're starting to think about it ahead of time and giving yourself time to take care of important things in advance.

    Also, I went ahead and signed up for my company's short-term disability program well in advance of us starting TTC. It's not a bad thing to have just in case something else were to come up that would keep you out of work for more than a couple of weeks (bad accident, emergency surgery, you just never know!).
    imageimage
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since July 2012
    BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
    BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
    B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
    Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
    Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!
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  • I second what the ladies above said! You definitely have to bring it up and your enrollment is a perfect conversation starter.

    imageMags's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
     
    TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
    DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
    ~Started acupuncture in  May 2014~

    ~~
    BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
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