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birthday party without drinking and without letting people know you're TTC...

Hi! Wondering if I could ask for suggestions for this. I'm going to O in a couple of days and my birthday will be within the 2WW. So, no drinking on my birthday. Usually if we go out to a bar or something friends would buy each other drinks for the birthday. I was thinking we might have people over to enjoy the day instead of going out, which might make it easier to avoid drinking. I could say I haven't been feeling well or something. I just don't want to tell people we're TTC. We don't know how long it'll end up taking and then people will ask about it... We could just do something just the two of us and scrap the whole birthday thing or we could wait one more month to TTC and have like a last going out/party night before I can't drink for a while. Any ideas on excuses for this? Or would you generally avoid being in that kind of situation to begin with? Just wondering what you think about it. Thanks!!
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Re: birthday party without drinking and without letting people know you're TTC...

  • If you have a party at your house, you could make yourself a non-alcoholic drink before people show up and walk around with that. It would still look like alcohol, so no one would think otherwise. Maybe just keep extra of it in the fridge for refills.

    The "I don't feel well" excuse always seems to make people suspect something, so I wouldn't use it.

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  • I normally say I'm really dehydrated and stick to water (i'll say I'm gonna start with water and see how it goes and then never switch over) or i'll say "we drank really hard last night in an early birthday celebration and i can't drink anything else yet, i feel super gross". or something along those lines.  if you're not a good liar (i'm super) then i'd recommend stating something came up last minute and can you guys meet up a different weekend so you can still make it happen (with the sorry sad voice).

    imageimageimage
           Me: All Normal DH: .5% Morph
    Cycles 1-14 (Natural) all BFN
                                  Starting IUI#1 procedures Nov '13
                          IUI Cxl'd due to surprise natural BFP 11/1/13
            Calvin born on June 19th, 2014 via emergency c-section at 3lbs7oz
         
  • I think you'll find that a lot of people here are in the "drink til it's pink" camp, meaning they'll drink until they get a positive pregnancy test.

    But if you really don't want to drink, just tell them so. Or let them buy you a drink or two and carry them around until you can dump them.





    dx:  Unexplained IF (mild MFI)

     TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN

    IVF #1 (May 2013):  Antagonist Protocol: 
    24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
    IVF #2 (August 2013):  Lupron Stop Protocol: 
    28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
    EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
    FET #1 (April 2014):  transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP

    C.J. born 01/09/15

    imageimage
  • Honestly, you don't really have to worry about not drinking during the 2WW. Most of us here are in the "drink til its pink" camp. Even if this is your cycle, you and baby wouldn't be sharing a blood supply yet. I wouldn't recommend going out and getting shit faced, but you can have a few and you'll really be fine.

    ...hello out there!
    imageimage
    dx with anovulatory PCOS 2005
    off bcp 11/11
    a few rounds of clomid and femara... no response.
    injectables/IUI 12/12... BFN
    Feb 13 IVF cycle converted down to IUI due to low follicle response... BFFN
    one last IVF attempt April/May 2013: 19 retrieved. 10 fertilized. 2 transferred in a 3dt. 4 frosties... BFP!!
    EDD: 1/21/14... Induced early at 36+6. Our LO was born 12/30/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • poppies717poppies717 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    If this is a regular TTC cycle, I say drink until it's pink. If you're in a medicated cycle or IUI cycle, I say use one of these:
    -Drank lots last night, not feeling up to it (requires acting)
    -On antibiotics (works like a charm...)

    ETA: What kind of drinking are you talking? I would only plan on having one or two in the "drink until it's pink" camp. It's not healthy to get wrecked anyway, but I'd especially avoid it in the 2ww.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • I would drink. You're not gonna do any harm.

    However, if you don't want to, you could always order a water with a lime or cranberry juice with a garnish and pretend it's a mixed drink.
    imageimageimageAnniversary
  • Another vote to drink til it's pink.

     

    No Siggy

  • Again, It's fine to drink. You and baby don't share blood then. Not worth the extra stress and trust you will be extra bummed if you make a big to do over it for nothing.
    Married 05/05/2007, Off BCP Dec 2007
    2 failed Clomid cycles in 2011.
    RE in October 2012: IUI # 12&3 with meds:  BFNs 12/12-2/13
    IVF cycle: ER: 9/18/13, Lu came back to snuggle in: 9/23/13, EDD: 6/11/13

    ~My Bitter Bitches Be the Best~

  • I drink during the 2ww, but don't get shitfaced. If you don't want to drink, you could say you are doing a cleanse in Nov that doesn't allow booze...or you are hungover. Antibiotics and not feeling well randomly are tell tale signs to me that someone is TTC or KU
    image
    First date July 31, 1999    Married January 28, 2009 
    TTC#1 July 2010 PCOS dx April 2011 
    DS born: February 21, 2012

    TTC#2 June 2013 MMC Sept 2013 (partial molar), CP 02/2014 DS2 born: December 5, 2014
  • I'm in the Drink til it's Pink camp.  It wouldn't be a big deal to have a glass or two throughout the evening.  Just invite a lot of people so there's so many people no one notices how much you drink all night!?

    image
    Baby Boy born 5.3.15


  • I guess it depends on your own comfort zone and your group of friends.

    Personally, I'm another vote for drink til it's pink. Also, my group of friends would never buy any excuse for not drinking if we were gathered together for a birthday. They would see right through it.

    If your group generally does drink and especially for birthdays and you're not comfortable having even one or two, do something low key without them.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • thanks to everyone for your suggestions!
    i think im going to do a lower key thing with everyone. another issue is we live about an hour away from our friends, so if we invite people and theres drinking, they'll prob want to crash at our place... which kind of is a bit much for us with so many people. if it was a couple or two it wouldn't matter, but i have this group of friends i grew up with that id like to have come out. so i was thinking about going out to dinner around here and having people back to our house afterwards, but most people will still have to drive home afterwards. that will help because people won't be getting messed up at our house and wanting me to do the same. 
    i can get virgin drinks at the restaurant and prepare some at home early also! thanks for the suggestions :) 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers  BabyFetus Ticker IAmPregnant Ticker
  • I am in the drink till it's pink camp but if you don't want to, you could tell them thst you are already hung over :D
    Eating Chocolate Bunny
    TTC since Dec. 2009. TTC buddies with Cinco and Faheat.
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