I'm in such a bad mood- mainly pet related

knitnat28 · October 2013

Two of our dogs got into a fight last night and Hannah (our German Shepherd mix) drew blood on Pixie (a little terrier mix). It was a little spot on her chest, but I freaked out about it. They've fought before, but last night Hannah was really aggressive. It usually starts with Hannah nudging or licking Pixie, who gets tired of it and growls and snaps, then Hannah gets mad. We've separated them before and spanked Hannah right afterward. Anyhow, we've had Hannah longest and Hubby reminded me that I said when I brought Pixie home if she caused any problems with the ones we had I'd rehome her. That was a year and a half ago, and I love her. She's my dog, and Hannah is his. I feel like they should both go if one has to. If I'm really honest, I think Hannah should be the only one to go since she drew blood, but then Hubby would resent Pixie. Ugh. I hate this so much. AND to top it off, I'm cramping this morning and am pretty sure I'm out this cycle. Today is going to blow.

LuckyAngel07 · October 2013

It's hard bringing new animals into the home since you typically don't know how everyone will get along in the long run, but you decided to bring Pixie home, and NEITHER dog deserves to be rehomed because they have issues with each other sometimes.

And you do NOT smack a dog for acting like a dog. There are always signals before things get out of hand, and it is the person's fault if those signals go unheeded and things escalate.

You and YH must be proactive in separating the dogs if one or both of them are getting unhappy about the situation. Yes, it can be hard to determine when that line gets crossed, especially since oftentimes play growling can sound pretty darn scary to us when it's really harmless.

Get a trainer or a behaviorist to meet with you and the dogs to figure out a situation that keeps everyone happy. You don't just get rid of members of your family when they have problems with each other; you work through the problems.

ETA: I'm sorry things are hard right now, and cramping is the suck. I hope the day gets better for you.

lilliesandvino · October 2013

Have they had any training?

Sewilson33 · October 2013

Wow I'm sorry about your dogs. I know animals can be very territorial and they are probably having a dominance dispute. I would look into training before you consider getting rid of either one. Especialllllly since you are planning on having a child you want both dogs trained to NOT fight.

callitcompulsive · October 2013

@luckyangel07 always has the best advice. Ditto everything she said, and also add, have they been to the vet lately? Aggression can be (I'm really not trying to be alarmist, but it might be worth looking into if you're considering getting rid of one or both dogs, just to get your bases covered.) a sign of illness or something being wrong.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

knitnat28 · October 2013

Yeah, they've been to the vet. They're up to date on shots and spayed. I don't know why the aggression is worse now though after they've lived in each other's company so long.

LuckyAngel07 · October 2013

knitnat28 said:

Yeah, they've been to the vet. They're up to date on shots and spayed. I don't know why the aggression is worse now though after they've lived in each other's company so long.

Most of us wouldn't know why. This is why you turn to a professional behaviorist and trainer to help you help them live together amicably.

lilliesandvino · October 2013

Please don't get rid of one of these animals before putting in some time with a professional. They deserve better than that.

amccul20 · October 2013

I think they need special attention before you jump so quickly to giving one of them away.

I cannot imagine ever giving one of my dogs away, nomatter the behavioral issue.

talk to a trainer and your husband. your husband needs to be on board for this too! you own two dogs so its both of your responsibility to make things work.

CincodeMayoLove · October 2013

I'm going to agree with the above posters and add some. Don't punish a dog for being a dog. Hitting to resolve violent behavior makes as much sense as spanking a kid and saying "don't hit."
The aggressiveness is most likely coming out because they are having a hard time knowing who's the alpha at your house because it isn't one of you. When the humans are the pack leaders, aggressive behavior doesn't happen because they know to look to you if a problem arises. As is they are trying to solve it the best way they know how. Go to training with you two and your two dogs to establish a better pack order. If you can't arrange all of that, you go with his dog then him with yours. Or you go with both, or he go with both. Good luck.
We had to get rid of one of our dogs because she attacked 2 dogs and then killed our cat. This was a year ago and it was still the hardest decision we have ever made. I still cry about it often. So on that note, I now understand that there is a place for getting rid of an aggressive dog, but yours is not aggressive. Just looking for order in the pack. Different and your fault not the dogs. (Ps... With My Jazzy it wasn't her fault either. It was previous life experiences from previous owners that couldn't be undone)

BruinsBabe33 · October 2013

I can't comment on this post without being a huge bitch and totally chewing you out. Listen to the other posters. Thanks for understanding times a million.

GoodWolf · October 2013

Please listen to these ladies, and do not put your pets through the trauma of re-homing. You need to make sacrifices when owning pets, and the moment you brought them home you signed up for that. I know it can be hard, stressful, and expensive sometimes but there are many much better options than just throwing in the towel. Dogs do not think like humans, and it's important to learn about dog psychology in order to be the best pet owner you can be.

Good luck with the aggression, and I hope you can find help for the dogs soon.

sandollar1010 · October 2013

You have got some good advice from the other ladies already. Please spend the time and engery to work with a trainer and get the help you need - your dogs deserve it. A friend of mine that fosters dogs - usually three at a time, constantly has different personalities and disagreements with her dogs. She recently posted this on FB and I think it is appropriate:

I am a forever dog, not an "until dog".
I am not an "until you get bored with me" dog.
I am not "until you find a girlfriend" dog.
I am not an "until you have a baby" dog.
I am not an "until you have to move" dog.
I am not an "until you have no time" dog.
I am not an "until I get old" dog.
I am a FOREVER dog.
If you can't give me forever, then I am not your dog.
It's really that simple.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Panderp · October 2013

You suck. HTH.

LittleLady77 · October 2013

Everything everyone else said. I'll add that you might want to try giving Hannah more exercise and attention. Usually it's as simple as that to fix aggression issues.

abt8113 · October 2013

sandollar1010 said:

I am a forever dog, not an "until dog".
I am not an "until you get bored with me" dog.
I am not "until you find a girlfriend" dog.
I am not an "until you have a baby" dog.
I am not an "until you have to move" dog.
I am not an "until you have no time" dog.
I am not an "until I get old" dog.
I am a FOREVER dog.
If you can't give me forever, then I am not your dog.
It's really that simple.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I love this! There are a few people that I would like to give this to.

OP, these ladies gave a lot of great advice. Please take time to work with a professional in order to deal with the problems. Also, my dogs still occassional have "disagreements" like children, it just happens. You need to be aware of it, and step in before something happens.

poppies717 · October 2013

Rehoming is never a good idea. My neighbors just rehomed their dog after I tried to convince them not to. I don't think I'll ever look at them the same.

Training worked wonders for our dog. He loved it. Another friend of mine did some pretty intensive training with her German Shepherd. The dog went from not being allowed around people to hanging out with us all the time. She's great with new people, too. Please look into training. And never hit an animal.

knitnat28 · November 2013

Love the negative you suck comments when I was thinking of one of the dog's safety since she was BLEEDING after the fight last night.

Otherwise, you are right and I have called Petsmart and have scheduled a meeting for this Saturday at 10 to take them both in for classes together. I was freaking out and didn't know what to do.

I appreciate the behavior management advice and am pursuing it.

knitnat28 · November 2013

I'm glad to know that some people know exactly what to do in EVERY situation and never make mistakes or need to ask for help when they freak out. Wish I were one of you. Thanks for understanding as well. Now suck it.

lilliesandvino · November 2013

I'm glad you have an appointment. I hope some training for them is all you need.

LuckyAngel07 · November 2013

knitnat28 said:
I'm glad to know that some people know exactly what to do in EVERY situation and never make mistakes or need to ask for help when they freak out. Wish I were one of you. Thanks for understanding as well. Now suck it.

Here's the thing. We don't always know what to do in every situation. And when that happens, we may vent our scared or uncertain feelings, but then we DO ask for help. Nowhere did you ask for help; you vented about the dogs getting into fights and one of you thinking to get rid of one dog while the other thinks to get rid of the other dog.

I wanted nothing more than to bitch you out for that. But I calmed myself down and gave you the advice you didn't bother to ask for. Because that's the only way those dogs can be helped.

I sincerely hope there isn't another incident that leaves Hannah or Pixie bleeding, but if there is, be upset, get the dog taken care of, and then either be proactive in preventing it again or ASK for help if you don't know what to do.

callitcompulsive · November 2013

see, the problem is that most people jump to "omg I have to get rid of my pet" when a poor behavior happens. When the shelter finds out the reason you are getting rid of the animal is because it 'attacked' another animal, they're going to euthanize it. (most likely; most shelters don't have the time and resources necessary to 'rehab' an 'aggressive dog' so they'll just put it down.)

Whereas, you could reach out to a trainer, or someone who knows something about dog behavior and get some insight as to why your dogs are misbehaving. It could be something as small as they need more exercise and stimulation, but when you jump directly to rehoming... that's when feathers get ruffled, especially since many of us have rescued pets and we've taken the time to get them over their issues that came with them from being "rehomed" by their previous owners.

I sincerely hope you can get to the bottom of their behavior issues. I'm sorry you were freaked out. As @sandollar1010 said -- pet ownership is a lifelong commitment.

knitnat28 · November 2013

@Lucky I can understand why you felt that way. I've read your posts on pet issues before and know that you are knowledgeable and compassionate with pets. I meant it as a post for help with the situation but presented it poorly it seems. I really do appreciate the majority of you guys' recommendations for going to a trainer, which is what we're going to do. I do not want to get rid of either dog and am hoping that we'll learn a lot from our sessions. Hubby has committed to going with me so we can both be on the same page with them and their training.

LuckyAngel07 · November 2013

knitnat28 said:

@Lucky I can understand why you felt that way. I've read your posts on pet issues before and know that you are knowledgeable and compassionate with pets. I meant it as a post for help with the situation but presented it poorly it seems. I really do appreciate the majority of you guys' recommendations for going to a trainer, which is what we're going to do. I do not want to get rid of either dog and am hoping that we'll learn a lot from our sessions. Hubby has committed to going with me so we can both be on the same page with them and their training.

This all makes me very happy to hear. Thank you for responding and being dedicated to working with your dogs. I sincerely hope it is all a case of everyone needing some training.

sandollar1010 · November 2013

OP I appreciate your explanation, and like PP said many of us have rescued dogs that "needed" to be rehomed, so we get fired up. I am the 3rd (and final) owner of one of my dogs, and it breaks my heart that he was tossed around so easily. It sounds like you already know some of what is setting the dogs off... it's your job not to let it escalate. I have a dog that is a constant bother to my other dog - the rescue (who can get grumpy quickly). It's usually as simple as a loud "Hey!" or hand clap to snap him out of it. He does give ample warning - starts with a stare, then a lip curl, before he snaps. Thankfully they have never hurt each other, and most of time they are great playmates, but I do need to watch them. I hope the trainer has some good ideas for watching cues and intervening. Good luck!

I'm in such a bad mood- mainly pet related

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