I don't feel any different....

MrsMarcel105 · October 2013

We got married on 10/5 and I don't feel any different. I'm not sure what I was expecting but there is nothing. It is that I don't love him it's just that I don't feel anything. Why? Was there supposed to be some change? Am I supposed to be happier? Is the sun supposed to shine brighter? I wasn't expecting things to change but I was expecting Something. We have been together since '09 and were "on a break" for about a year in there but in the end I knew I just didn't want to live my life without him. I'm just confused...did/does anyone else feel like this?

Mrs.Rad888 · October 2013

Well, if you and your H were living together before you got married, nothing really should have changed. Really, it's just a piece of paper and a ring. You guys are still the same people as you were before you got married. I've never really understood when people who have lived together before getting married report how their relationship changed after they got married. True, as the years go by, people change, but that isn't necessarily because you got married. If you were expecting changes after the wedding (and this place is evidence that some people do expect their partner to become someone else), you need to examine what changes you were expecting, why you were expecting them, and if they are realistic.

After DH and I got married, nothing really changed. The sex didn't get better. The sun didn't shine any brighter. Neither of us suddenly developed the ability to read the other's mind. We were the same people that we were the day before, but now we had a legal tie to each other.

Sillygirl45 · October 2013

I agree with pp, if you lived together before marriage, the day after your wedding is just another day.

I didn't think that I expected anything magical to happen after our wedding, but I really did have that "is this it?" feeling. It happened a couple months after the wedding. I was soooo bored. After being busy with all the work and planning, I needed something else to focus on.

The feeling didn't last very long. For me it compared to that vacation let down after planning a big trip. You get home and feel bummed that it's over (at least I do) and need something else to look forward to.

R.Wilsonny · October 2013

I agree with PP's too on this. Nothing magically changes when you get married. I would say if anything, the only real 'change' is that because you are now married, you have a lot more incentive to work on issues rather than simply walk away. For me, the only real 'change' is the ever growing and deeper love that I have for my H as time passes. It's not like the young 'puppy love/making out' kind of love, but something more powerful and wonderful. We have our issues like anyone else, but we work them out and it makes us stronger.

Leftie22 · October 2013

I didn't feel any different either, but I didn't expect to. The longer I'm married, the more I realize I need to check my expectations now and then, and remember that I have to make my marriage work. It's not just my DH's job, and it's not going to happen from some magical, outside source. So stop expecting something to happen, and start looking at what you can do to improve your relationship, and to remember the reasons why you love your DH. It's easy to sit back and get in a rut and blame the other person (speaking from experience, I admit). It's much harder to ask yourself what you could do to make yourself happier and relate better to your partner. A wedding can't magically give you that, unfortunately. You have to work for it. Good luck!!

anssett · October 2013

:-) I didn't feel a dramatic change after my wedding. The changes for me came at different milestones. When we started getting serious, I started being much more critical of our compatibility. Once we moved in together, things changed more. We had to learn the cohabitation stuff. Once we decided to be together forever, things changed again. I started really seeing his whole self. All the awesome and the less awesome. I saw him differently. I think I adore him more now.

Our wedding was in the middle of a performance run for a musical I was in. It was a fantastic wedding, but not a big hooplah. I was busy! It took a few weeks for the fact that we were even married to sink in. Now that we've been married for 7 months I think I worry a little more about losing him. He makes me so happy that I now have the irrational fear that I might lose him. I guess that's the next stage? Things will keep changing. He'll be the father of my kids someday. He's my partner for life and I hope we both keep growing and changing.

lfk2013 · October 2013

Yeah, people keep asking me if married life is any different that before. My answer continues to be that it feels the same. The only thing that's changed is my name and what we call each other.

Janessadawn · October 2013

^This, basically. Although over the last 14 months I've felt a subtle shift in both the way people treat us, and also the cohesiveness I feel we have as a unit. I dunno, that could all be in my head, but I definitely feel like my mom treats me more like an adult (most of the time) than she used to.

Kimbus22 · November 2013

The only thing that changed for me was having to remember to sign a different name. And the realization that I'd need a lawyer if he ever really drove me over the edge.

GilliC · November 2013

Weird! Right after my wedding, my skin problems cleared up, the sun came out, and my computer started running faster. I also lost 10 pounds, and everything I eat tastes like chocolate cake.