Ferber Questions, again

Kernel14 · November 2013

Mmmmkay. For those who did it, I know a lot of you said around 10 months. How did you decide it was time?

I'm feeling its time. That, or I have to sleep in a tent in the back yard. Both boys are still getting up twice a night. If it was just eating and going back to sleep, I'd probably be ok with it but the past few nights Andrew has been up around 4 (and one night at 2:30) and then he's just up. He will NOT go back to bed! I try feeding him, rocking him, putting him back and letting him cry, etc. Sunday night we were up from 2:30-4:45. The problem with letting him lay there at 4am is that he either cries loudly or babbles loudly and then before we know it, Colin is up too.

He is very capable of sleeping through the night. I mean, he eats when he wakes but I think its only bc its offered, not because he's truly hungry. The other issue is getting to bed. He doesn't easily fall asleep so I've resorted to rocking him to save everyone's sanity.

So like I said...HOW did you decide WHEN the right time was? What was bedtime and the night like before you did it? I'm at my wits end with being exhausted.

jessica0602 · November 2013

We decided it was time when the bugger would start screaming his head off, we'd go in and he'd laugh and chat like it was the middle of the damn day. We decided that was it.

I think we actually had a good night the night before we decided to implement it, which made us waver for about 0.008747389 seconds. It took us 4 days. I cried hard the first time. But I swear we never had to retrain him and he sleeps like a mummy now.

tracyd21 · November 2013

Well, I did Ferber at 5 months and change, but DH and I were losing our minds. It wasn't the night wakings that did us in, though. It was bedtime - it took us 3+ hours to get DD to sleep each night. 7-10pm was very stressful, one/both of us with an acute ear on the monitor, waiting for her to stir (which she inevitably did every 20-30 minutes after getting her to sleep). We learned that if we ran up there, replaced the binky and rocked her in he RNP before she truly woke up, we could get her back to sleep without the whole charade of rocking her ourselves for 15-20 mins, doing the transfer and crossing our fingers the whole time the she wouldn't wake back up. We asked the pedi about it at a sick visit at 5 months and he suggested reading Ferber and trying it when we felt comfortable. So we held out a little longer, but eventually it became too much. Our nights were entirely consumed with stress and we decided enough is enough.

It was 4 days for us.

Night 1: cried 45 minutes

Night 2: cried 22 minutes

Night 3: cried 11 minutes

Night 4: NO crying at all.

Kernel14 · November 2013

jessica0602 said:

We decided it was time when the bugger would start screaming his head off, we'd go in and he'd laugh and chat like it was the middle of the damn day. We decided that was it.

I think we actually had a good night the night before we decided to implement it, which made us waver for about 0.008747389 seconds. It took us 4 days. I cried hard the first time. But I swear we never had to retrain him and he sleeps like a mummy now.

Yup. He'll cry and then I come in and sometimes he'll look at me and keep crying but more often than not, he smiles real big and babbles and its like "Yay, you're here. Lets play at 4am!"

I have no doubt I will be crying just as hard as he is. And I can't even deal thinking about when it'll be Colins turn. For now I'm going to keep getting up and letting him eat though bc that boy needs to put on a few lbs.

Kernel14 · November 2013

tracyd21 said:

Well, I did Ferber at 5 months and change, but DH and I were losing our minds. It wasn't the night wakings that did us in, though. It was bedtime - it took us 3+ hours to get DD to sleep each night. 7-10pm was very stressful, one/both of us with an acute ear on the monitor, waiting for her to stir (which she inevitably did every 20-30 minutes after getting her to sleep). We learned that if we ran up there, replaced the binky and rocked her in he RNP before she truly woke up, we could get her back to sleep without the whole charade of rocking her ourselves for 15-20 mins, doing the transfer and crossing our fingers the whole time the she wouldn't wake back up. We asked the pedi about it at a sick visit at 5 months and he suggested reading Ferber and trying it when we felt comfortable. So we held out a little longer, but eventually it became too much. Our nights were entirely consumed with stress and we decided enough is enough.

It was 4 days for us.
Night 1: cried 45 minutes
Night 2: cried 22 minutes
Night 3: cried 11 minutes
Night 4: NO crying at all.

Oy vey. It takes us (read: me) about 15-20 to get him to sleep and then he's pretty good about staying that way until anywhere from midnight on. But still...during that 15-20 minutes, 75% of the time he's fighting it.

45 minutes?? I just don't look forward to this at all but I know its for the good of all of us. Did you go in a lot during that 45 min or just let her be?

jessica0602 · November 2013

The mantra that I kept repeating to myself (and annoyingly to the husband) was "he needs to sleep". It's not just for us. It's for him.

Kernel14 · November 2013

jessica0602 said:

The mantra that I kept repeating to myself (and annoyingly to the husband) was "he needs to sleep". It's not just for us. It's for him.

Ohh...thats a good idea. I'll do that. While I cry. And drink a few beers.

Amerbutt81 · November 2013

We did this around 6 months or so? Maybe earlier, I can't totally remember. We knew it was time when Hunter woke up one night and we each thought the other was going in for him, and we both fell back asleep-- as did Hunter.

Parental WIN.

After that, we realized that he didn't need anything, he was just waking up and didn't know how to go back to sleep. I think it only took us like 4 or 5 days.

Kernel14 · November 2013

I guess my only concern is if he truly is hungry bc he does eat two full bottles in the middle of the night. But like I said my gut is telling me he's just doing it because its available.

Kernel14 · November 2013

The food thing is stressing me out big time. Were your kids still eating in the middle of the night?

tracyd21 · November 2013

Kernel14 said:

tracyd21 said:

Well, I did Ferber at 5 months and change, but DH and I were losing our minds. It wasn't the night wakings that did us in, though. It was bedtime - it took us 3+ hours to get DD to sleep each night. 7-10pm was very stressful, one/both of us with an acute ear on the monitor, waiting for her to stir (which she inevitably did every 20-30 minutes after getting her to sleep). We learned that if we ran up there, replaced the binky and rocked her in he RNP before she truly woke up, we could get her back to sleep without the whole charade of rocking her ourselves for 15-20 mins, doing the transfer and crossing our fingers the whole time the she wouldn't wake back up. We asked the pedi about it at a sick visit at 5 months and he suggested reading Ferber and trying it when we felt comfortable. So we held out a little longer, but eventually it became too much. Our nights were entirely consumed with stress and we decided enough is enough.

It was 4 days for us.
Night 1: cried 45 minutes
Night 2: cried 22 minutes
Night 3: cried 11 minutes
Night 4: NO crying at all.

Oy vey. It takes us (read: me) about 15-20 to get him to sleep and then he's pretty good about staying that way until anywhere from midnight on. But still...during that 15-20 minutes, 75% of the time he's fighting it.

45 minutes?? I just don't look forward to this at all but I know its for the good of all of us. Did you go in a lot during that 45 min or just let her be?

We did the progressive waiting approach, so DH and I alternated check-ins. I lent out the book to a friend, but I think night 1 the check ins are 3 mins, 5 mins, 8 mins, etc. We stayed in the room for a minute or two, did not pick her up, but patted her belly and shushed her and reassured her it was okay. It was really hard not to pick her up, but we followed the rules pretty strictly. 45 mins was tough, but we kept reminding each other that she wasn't in pain or anything like that.

tracyd21 · November 2013

Could you add an ounce to each bottle during the day if you're worried about them being hungry? That way, at least you know they are getting the same amount of formula in a 24-hour period. Or maybe even make a bigger bottle right before bed to see if that helps?

Kernel14 · November 2013

So I read the part of the book last night about feeding and they aren't eating enough ounces at night to be considered "hungry". So last night we fed them half of what they normally eat and they didn't cry. (well Colin cried for a long time but not from hunger. Thats a different story). So they'll get even less tonight and then less Thursday night and then Friday is the big night for Andrew. We've also decided we're going to do this with Colin too because really, he just doesn't sleep enough. His turn will be next Friday. Can't deal with both at once.

Ferber Questions, again

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