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Thanksgiving chaotic...already :/
My Husband and I bought a house at the end of January so this is our first year doing holidays in our new house. When we bought the house we decided that we would do all holidays home (Thanksgiving and Christmas). We had discussed this with our parents when we bought the house but refreshed their memories recently by saying "we are going to do Thanksgiving home this year, you guys are more then welcome to join us". Well my side of the family said yes to joining us as well as my husbands side but then my BIL's wife posted a nasty Facebook status saying I was refusing to leave my house and calling my family a bunch of douche bags (she's met my family once). Apparently I wasn't suppose to see this status but I did and I sent it to my MIL saying "...I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving, not have my family bashed" to which my MIL apologized for what her other DIL had said and proceeded to ask her other DIL why she would do and say that. Well, apparently it was an accidental Facebook status that was meant to be a text message to someone - is that an excusable reason? because I'm still slightly sour about it.
Re: Thanksgiving chaotic...already :/
^^^ This. But, what's done is done. Have SIL come if she wants to and ignore it. I would be ticked too, but it really isn't your problem. Who knows what her deal is and really who cares.
Also, while your SIL was rude, at the same time, why couldn't your "message" be "Hey- it's our first Thanksgiving in our new home. We really want to host this year - please join us" instead of "we're staying home. You can join us if you want.".
You're SIL is in the wrong, but the way your post reads, you're not coming across as being overly welcoming. You sound more commanding and "it's our way or the highway" and that may be rubbing people wrong.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Also, while your SIL was rude, at the same time, why couldn't your "message" be "Hey- it's our first Thanksgiving in our new home. We really want to host this year - please join us" instead of "we're staying home. You can join us if you want.".
You're SIL is in the wrong, but the way your post reads, you're not coming across as being overly welcoming. You sound more commanding and "it's our way or the highway" and that may be rubbing people wrong.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I sent it to my MIL because in the past my BIL's wife and I haven't exactly gotten along and she is known for bending my words,so It was my preventative measure to make sure I wasn't the one who came off like an a-hole. I haven't approached my BIL's wife about the whole status at all because I'm nervous if I did it would give my Husbands parents a reason not to show up to our Thanksgiving. Also the reason we did the whole laid back "we are staying home this year for Thanksgiving and you're welcome to join" is because my family is spread thin with divorces, girl friends and boyfriends and we didn't want to feel like we were forcing people to come to our house.
It's fine if you wanted to make sure MIL understood what was going on, but be careful of making her feel like you're putting her in the middle. And really- if they "give in" to this girl, that's on them. Somewhere in this, you have to recognize that everyone is an adult and I'm SURE they know what your SIL is like. It's up to them to decide for themselves what they want to do.
YOU need to just back away from your SIL, though, and ignore her antics.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
May 2014 November Siggy Challenge
The Griswold’s Christmas Vacation
I got a message from her on FB saying
"Ever since I realized that I accidentally posted that text to my Facebook , I've been trying to figure out what to say or how to apologize. I've got no excuse, it was a poorly worded venting text to my friend because I was upset about spending thanksgiving with people who make me super uncomfortable. It wasn't going to your house, but the fact that I feel super awkward around your family because of all the stuff that went on when we were fighting. I know you knew how that feels. I feel about one inch tall. The whole reason I didn't want to not go to your thanksgiving is because I was worried about offending you guys, and instead I ended up doing so much worse. I'm heartbroken over my own impulsive stupidity because I really was enjoying getting to know you better, and now in one stupid text I ruined it."
I replied with
"It is what it is and what's done is done. The truth is, is that my family was excited to have everyone together under one roof. They feed off me and my actions or respect toward someone - you and I were doing so well and so they were cool. Regardless of this situation you guys are more then welcome to join us on Thanksgiving - it's a day for family after all ."