people need to learn to keep secrets

amccul20 · November 2013

next time I get pregnant i'm not telling my mom or my husbands mom until the end of the first trimester.

I was on the phone last night with my mom and she told me her boss wants to throw me a baby shower. which is really nice, but nobody is fucking supposed to know i'm pregnant yet!

and my MIL at dinner the other night with friends and family starts asking me if i'm craving anything? I was just like um no?! and then my husband pulled her in the other room and talked to her about it.

we get people are excited. do they think we're not excited and dont' want to tell people? of course we do, but its not safe yet!!

so frustrating.

we have kept very mum about my pregnancy and haven't shared the news with many people and I can assure you that their inability to keep secrets will result in them not finding other information out in the future.

wiggyslilsis · November 2013

Very frustrating! I'm sorry

it is your announcement to make not theirs.

Uptowngirl2009 · November 2013

That is so frustrating. I'm sorry that the news is getting out before you are ready to share. I really don't way a lot of people finding out until I can talk to my administrators and until we can tell DH's family. I am hoping the few people that do know can keep it a secret for three more weeks!

amccul20 · November 2013

I should say in general we've been able to keep it very quiet and I don't think there are many people that know that we don't want to know. but mom and MIL have told several people close to them and it annoys me.

DangerMuffin23 · November 2013

I'm so sorry @amccul20. It's so frustrating when people do that. I was wary of telling my sister I was engaged bc my parents were out of town, but she promised that it was "my news to tell". She told them on the way home from the airport. Telling people about your pregnancy is your special thing and they shouldn't be doing it without your permission. Hugs

amccul20 · November 2013

DangerMuffin23 said:

I'm so sorry @amccul20. It's so frustrating when people do that. I was wary of telling my sister I was engaged bc my parents were out of town, but she promised that it was "my news to tell". She told them on the way home from the airport. Telling people about your pregnancy is your special thing and they shouldn't be doing it without your permission. Hugs

that sucks! WTF is wrong with people?

brij2006 · November 2013

I'm sorry they blabbed to others, and you have every right to even tell them that next time they won't be finding out early because they can't keep their mouths shut.

I'm not saying this to scare you or anything like that, but we told both sets of our parents at 5 weeks. When I called and told my mom the other day about our ultrasound, she later mentioned that she didn't want to have to tell her friend Sheryl that she was no longer going to be a grandma. Well guess what mom. We told you not to tell anybody, and we made it clear that if you did and we lost the baby, you would be the one going back and telling them. Guess what. You get to tell her the news, not me!

Needless to say, like you, we have decided that we will be waiting to tell them next time. They can ask as many questions as they want about me not drinking at family functions. I just won't confirm whether I am or am not pregnant, because I don't want to have to worry about them telling people before we're ready.

Ayres12 · November 2013

I'm sorry, I know that would irritate me too. I've overheard my mom tell complete strangers private things about me, so I guess it's kind of similar.

amccul20 · November 2013

Ayres12 said:

I'm sorry, I know that would irritate me too. I've overheard my mom tell complete strangers private things about me, so I guess it's kind of similar.

I'd almost rather my mom did tell complete stranger! that way I would know it wouldn't get back to people I wasn't ready to share with yet.

tdmd09 · November 2013

That's frustrating. The first time I was pregnant my dad told my loud mouth aunt who messaged me on FB (privately, thank goodness) immediately. I was so angry, and when we lost that baby I made my dad tell her the news. We didn't tell anyone, family included, until at least 10 weeks the other two times.

nightmare_of_beauty · November 2013

My MIL told her family (both her mom and dad had kids from previous relationships, comes out to about 8 Aunt and Uncles). She did her best at taking care of it, but I did have to tell one Aunt while I was on lunch break at work. Not fun.

I would like to wait next time, but I have a feeling H will not.

ETA: I will say this, I've had some amazing support and am thankful.

LittleLady77 · November 2013

My mom pulled that one time (that I know about) and I FREAKED out on her. It ended in her crying. So not cool.

pistolpackinmomma · November 2013

"Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead." I love PLL! Seriously though, it sucks. We knew my MIL would spill but with extreme m/s it was getting harder to hide. She told her whole office within days. Half of my family also works for the hospital so that was awesome of her. What I didn't expect was for my dad to spill the beans, by turning down free bottles of my favorite homemade wine from one of his friend at that! He spilled and didn't get me my wine!

sushilover0214 · November 2013

That sucks. Sorry they couldn't keep quiet. I remember after finding out the sexes, my friend/coworker told everyone at work. I wanted to be the one to tell the news! That one stung for a while.

nightmare_of_beauty · November 2013

@pistolpackinmomma I love PLL

lindsayandjamie · November 2013

DH and I told our families early with both pregnancies and I know that they spilled the beans even when we told them not to. The first time I was mad, the second time less so but then it ended and they had to untell.
DH and I have already said the next time we don't want to tell anyone until we're ready which will be after a viability u/s and possibly later. Although after this experience I think our families finally understand the purpose of first tri secrets.

people need to learn to keep secrets

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