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theteno · November 2013

Hi There! DH and I recently decided to start TTC. This past cycle we missed our window, so even though I'm only 7 DPO I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant right now. We hit O + 1. We've started talking because I'm a teacher and I currently have a maternity leave spot for the year. My district likes me, so I felt comfortable starting to TTC, especially because next year I am happy with part time work or I could work from home on another project and return to teaching the following year even if I don't get rehired. I'm just torn because I know if we wait until March- if we got pregnant right away, I would not be showing when they'd be offering a position and I could accept and tell them the leave I'd be taking. If we try now, there'll be no hiding it when the time comes. I'm also concerned they wont like me if I take leave my first year in a permanent spot, but I'm not willing to wait until Sept 2015. We're ready now. So my question to you is... what would you do? Would you wait until March? That's what we're leaning towards now, but it is so disappointing because I've always wanted to start a family and now that we're ready, I don't want to waste any time. It's hard for me too because deep inside I really want to be a SAHM or work part time only. We kind of could have me stay home, but DH is concerned if he loses his job then we'd be in trouble. So ideally, I would like to get a part time job in my district next year and start TTC this cycle. But I can't have everything I want I suppose. Your thoughts? ....

Leftie22 · November 2013

I would do a budget first, if I were you, to see if you could pull off being home full or part-time. See what you could live without to make it work. Also, is there a real risk that your DH could lose his job, or is it more of a general worry of his? Once you've looked at these things, you'll have a more realistic idea of when the best time would be. Also, keep in mind that the odds are you won't conceive on the first try. I did with my first, but my second took six months. You just never know. Either way, look at your finances with your DH and get on the same page before you try again. Good luck!

theteno · November 2013

@leftie22, basically speaking we could afford me being a SAHM, but our spending habits would have to change greatly... that's basically all it would be- especially because our budget for carrying our home and bills was based on my old salary which was much lower and DH could make it up by working 1 day of OT every 2 weeks. 2 extra days a month on his end would be worth me being able to stay home and not pay for child care IMO. The worry about the job is really a general worry of his. There is not anything that would make him worry that he could lose it unless something unexpected happens... which is basically anyone's situation. That's kind of why I feel so strongly about staying at home because I know we could do it. The great thing is that we are working with each other on trying to find answers to these questions because neither of us wants to wait. I think it's smarter if I was going to work for us to wait until March, though, and luckily that isn't too far away. I bet if I was pregnant when they were looking to fill positions for the following year they wouldn't hold a position for me unless they really loved the job I was doing. We do have to talk about it more and see if there are any other logical ways I could make money from home or working part time somewhere. There are part time teaching jobs... I don't know if part time work goes toward tenure or pension though.

Leftie22 · November 2013

Well, I can tell you from my experience that I have no regrets about quitting my job to become a SAHM. It was a HUGE financial change for me and my DH, because I actually made more money than him, but we did a slash and burn budget and cut all the luxuries out of our lives. We lived on this budget before the baby arrived so we could see if it would really work. It did, and we both didn't mind being strapped for cash because we both agreed to it and thought it was valuable for me to be home with our baby. I've been home for two years now, poverty budget is still working and we have another on the way. At times it can be tough not to be able to splurge on something, but you get used to it. I'm so happy to be the one seeing my son all day, every day, and I know I'll never look back and say "gee, I wish I had worked more."

So if you can really do it and your DH supports you, I'd say go for it. You can always go back to work if you need to later. Buy second-hand baby stuff, make weekly meal plans to save on groceries, make your own baby food, whatever you need to do to make it work. If you're committed, I'm sure you can pull it off! Also, my DH lost his job when our LO was about 6 months old, but we still managed. Have an emergency fund just in case. Good luck, whatever you decide! Motherhood is pretty fun!!

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