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I lost my cool (P&L mentioned)
So today for lunch my boss said he wanted to order and pay for pizza for everyone. One of the girls and I went across the street to pick up the pizza. It wasn't ready yet, so we stood there waiting. A lady I grew up around was in the pizza place. Every time she see's me, she asks me if I'm pregnant yet. Mind you, she's a very outspoken woman, isn't shy about anything, and will tell you like it is. So I knew the question was coming. She walked up to me and said "hi Brij", then rubbed my belly and asked "are you pregnant yet?" I lost it. I just couldn't help it. I responded with, "Yes I am, but the baby is dead in there and I really don't appreciate you rubbing my dead baby in my belly." She just stared at me, then started crying and gave me a hug. I told her that she needs to stop asking girls that. We had been trying with no success, and every time she asked me it would sting even worse. She apologized and said she would never ask again. But why the hell does it have to take this to get people to understand personal space and that I would share it with her if I wanted to? She is someone that helped out a lot the day of my wedding, and is someone I grew up with at church. So it isn't like she was some stranger, but it also wasn't someone we shared our struggles with.
Oh, and now my co-worker knows that I was pregnant and am going through a miscarriage. She stopped before we got back to the office and let me know that she's here for me with whatever we need, and she's so sorry to hear about our struggles. I'm fine with her knowing, but that's definitely not the way I wanted her to find out about it.
I'm just going to go home and curl up on the couch with a book. Maybe then I won't lose my cool, and nobody else will ask me if I'm pregnant.
Some days I feel like we all just need to carry around signs that say "WTF?" That way if you don't want to respond to something rude or cruel, you can just hold up your WTF sign.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
Re: I lost my cool (P&L mentioned)
Oh sweetie!! It would have taken a freaking saint not to lose it in that situation. People are just so unbelievably thoughtless; no one ever thinks there's a problem in that area and that everyone just gets pregnant as soon as they want to. Maybe she'll be a little more thoughtful in the future.
And seriously, if you're not family or a really close friend, you just do NOT go up to a woman and rub her stomach without asking. WHY the hell do people continue to think that's okay?!
((hugs)) I'm sorry you had to deal with that and not in a way you would have preferred.
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods
TTC September 2013 | BFP 11/21/13 | Chart | EDD 8/3/14 | It's a girl!
DD born at 42 weeks 1 day | 8/18/14 5:33am | 8lbs 4oz 20.25in of perfection!
That's really shitty that people don't get the concept of personal space...I'm reading your post and shaking my head. I don't know what else to say other than how sorry I am for you. Go home, relax, and curl up with your book...have your H give you a massage to help you relax too...
TTC #1 since July 2012
Cycles 1-9: BFN
Cycle 10: Surprise BFP on 10/17/2013!
EDD: June 25, 2014
Baby Girl born via induction June 26, 2014
My TTC Journey Blog
my read shelf:
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
Hopefully she learned her lesson.
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
B Born 6.27.13
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss"I DO NOT love that you think so many things revolve around you. I know you're bitter. I get it. But I'm over your feelings." The best person on the internet ever!
Cycle 8,9,10 - 50mg Clomid - BFN
I really think you responded well. Belly touching without permission is never okay and a serious crossing of boundaries. I really hope she has learned not to do that again, to you, or anyone else.
Baby E born: 2/16/2014 at 12:56pm. 5lb 15oz
But. I know this is a UO, but I have been thinking about it since I read this. Be careful. You don't want to push people away, you know her intentions were kind, and she is a grown woman- she knows that IF and miscarriage exist. She now feels like shit.
I don't know. I'm not articulating this well, but it rubs me the wrong way.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
And I'm sorry, Brij. Loss really really sucks. My heart and prayers are with you.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!