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TudorRose11
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby W's birth story (long)
in GP Moms
Hey ladies, I had hoped to post this much sooner but I just haven't been able to find the time. My IL's stayed with us until yesterday and while they were beyond helpful and I love them, it was nice to be just us today. Thank you to those of you that commented on the update posts - it was really nice to read words of encouragement and support.
So, on Saturday night we checked into the hospital at 8pm. The nurses were waiting in my room as soon as I got there to get started. By 9pm the resident doctor came in and inserted the cervidil. It's similar to a tampon experience. The cervidil is to be left in for 12 hours so DH went to sleep and I tried to. I think I was able to doze off for around 4 hours that night. The cervidil causes uncomfortable menstrual like cramps so I was hopeful it was making some progress.
None. At 8am the cervidil was removed and I was checked - still zero dilation and only 40% effaced. I was so disappointed. My doctor decided to go ahead with pitocin anyway and after giving me 30 minutes to shower, pit was started at 9am. I felt decent contractions and thought for sure progress was being made. A few hours later my doctor checked me - no progress at all. Cue disappointment 2.0. Doctor decided to use foley bulb next. My nurse kept telling me I had "the cervix of steel."
Since he already knew that I was planning on getting an epidural, he asked me to get it before he inserted the foley as it is a painful process. I agreed and within the half hour the anesthesiologist was there to administer. Once the epi kicked in my doctor was there to insert the foley. DH watched most of this and said he was very relieved I had an epi prior to. The foley automatically deflates once the cervix reaches 4cm and this process didn't take as long as I feared it would. Just a few hours later my nurse came in to check and it was ready! We removed it and my doctor broke my water.
4cm to fully progressed pretty quickly (with lots of vomiting on an empty stomach -- torture) and by 9pm I was 10cm and 100% effaced. Baby was still a little high so they decided to wait 30 minutes in hopes that he would descend. At 9:30 I started pushing. For the first hour, my epi was in full effect and I couldn't feel anything which actually frustrated me more than anything. I was having a hard time getting his head through the pelvis and I couldn't feel any progress.
Hour two of pushing began and my epi was starting to wear off pretty quickly. I decided not to press the button for a re-dose because I could feel him move down when I pushed and that felt better to me. I also didn't expect to push for another hour and a half.
At 11:58pm, I pushed one final time and he came out all at once and was on my chest before I even opened my eyes from the push. I first noticed his beautiful eyes, that he has his daddy's nose and all. that. hair!! The plan was for us to have skin to skin for an hour and the nurses would clean him up right there on my chest. After about a minute though, I heard my doctor say "It's time to take him. Now."
I thought maybe I had misunderstood and that they would just clean him up and bring him right back. DH went to the warmer with him and took pictures and put his first diaper on. My doctor started pressing on my stomach, which I expected, but he apologized and said "I have to do this a lot... I am sorry..." Since my epi had completely worn off before the birth I was med free and this next part was a horrible pain I can't explain. He was pressing on me and shoving sterile towels inside of me at the same time. DH was being kept on the other side of the room and looked terrified.
I started passing out but coming to every few minutes. It turns out I hemorrhaged during birth and was losing a lot of blood. The anesthesiologist came back in very quickly and gave me a re-boost of the epi and my doctor was being stern with the nurses for different equipment he needed. They were on the phone quite a bit and another nurse and another doctor came in at some point. My blood pressure dropped to 76/57 and my heart rate was 165.
They performed multiple procedures that I wasn't familiar with and also a D&C to stop the bleeding. After 2 hours of this, the bleeding finally reduced to normal but I was shaking pretty badly. I passed out again and woke up to a more calm environment but had 3 doctors and two nurses standing at my bedside. They were just staring at the monitors and talking quietly while they checked my BP every 2 minutes. My blood pressure and heart rate were still out of control and I was freezing. The nurses put tons of heated blankets on me and after a few hours I finally stabilized. I wasn't able to hold baby for almost 4 hours because I was so weak.
On Tuesday we were supposed to be discharged but my platelets and hemoglobin were too low and they wanted me to stay to be monitored overnight and re-test them on Wednesday morning. On wed my platelets barely increased and my hemoglobin dropped again (one point away from a blood transfusion). They decided to let me go but I was given bed rest instructions and have to go back tomorrow to be re-tested. Good blood vibes my way tomorrow if you could!
Wed was our first day home and at that point I had only had 2 hours of sleep, and not all at once, since Sunday morning. Exhausted is not even the word for it. Breast feeding was not going as well as I hoped it would and my milk hadn't come in yet (although I know this much is normal). In the hospital I had 5 lactation consultants and 3 nurses "help" me but it never got better. My nipples go flat unless he bites them and his mouth never gets wide enough for a proper latch. I was given a lecture by the nurse that discharged us about how supplementing with formula was only for moms who have decided to give up completely on BF and if I did that, he would never eat breast milk again.
We left the hospital with a screaming baby and sobbing mommy. I was so weak from the blood loss and so sad that he was hungry and I couldn't help him. Throughout the day at home he was attached to the boob for hours at a time all day long. No exaggeration. DH would take him and he would scream the entire time until I tried to feed him again. By 11pm I still hadn't slept and he was still screaming. I was heartbroken and defeated. My MIL told me there was no shame in supplementing and to listen to my own intuition. DH was completely supportive so at midnight I gave him some formula. The second I put the bottle in his mouth, he looked right at me and sighed so deeply I swear you could almost hear him say, "thank you." He ate one ounce, burped and fell right to sleep. Then I sobbed because I felt guilty for caving but more so for not feeding him sooner. He had been so uncomfortable all day long.
I tried to pump the next day but still got nothing - not even colostrum. I tried to breast feed but he still wasn't getting anything. My nipples were destroyed and bleeding already. So we FF Thursday. He was such a happy guy that day, complete change from the day before. On Friday I pumped again and got an ounce of milk!! I was so happy I cried. Since then we are doing 50/50 formula and pumped milk. I try to latch him but he just doesn't get on properly. He does not oppose either one and does not refuse breast milk because of the formula - contrary to what the boob nazi's told me at the hospital.
Not that you asked, but here is what I have learned in my one week of motherhood:
Shit happens. When your heart opens to this beautiful baby, please let it open your mind. Birth is probably not what you expect, or maybe it will be exactly what you hope for. Either way - what matters is a healthy baby and healthy mommy. I never expected to be induced (with every method available to us) and I didn't expect to use formula. But my son is healthy and happy. I beat myself up over using formula at first but why? I really wanted to BF but the perfect latch and feeds weren't in our cards. I'm glad to be able to pump too but if it hadn't worked, that would be ok. For us, this is a perfect harmony. And we are happy!
Visitors - tell them no when you want to. I had someone at the hospital 100% of the time during the day. I never got to nap because they all wanted to hear about how it went, how's it going. We have had visitors at home constantly. I haven't napped at all and I can feel it. People think when you have a baby that they are automatically welcome to sit on your couch and meet your baby because damnit, they had to wait 9 months too. Nope. I know they are excited to meet him but I am the one who has to care for him all day and I need rest. And the advice to "let visitors take over so you can sleep for a bit" is kind of ridiculous. Everyone that has visited is a trusted friend or relative but that doesn't mean I will leave my days old baby with them to go in my room and nap. That's just not realistic to me. So, just say that now is not a good time if it's not. Period. You will be glad you did. I've already declined a few for this week and I'm stoked about it.
Trust yourself. You are this baby's mom and only you. You won't know every thing at once, but you will learn. And if it doesn't go according to plan, trust your mother's intuition. That shit is real.
So, on Saturday night we checked into the hospital at 8pm. The nurses were waiting in my room as soon as I got there to get started. By 9pm the resident doctor came in and inserted the cervidil. It's similar to a tampon experience. The cervidil is to be left in for 12 hours so DH went to sleep and I tried to. I think I was able to doze off for around 4 hours that night. The cervidil causes uncomfortable menstrual like cramps so I was hopeful it was making some progress.
None. At 8am the cervidil was removed and I was checked - still zero dilation and only 40% effaced. I was so disappointed. My doctor decided to go ahead with pitocin anyway and after giving me 30 minutes to shower, pit was started at 9am. I felt decent contractions and thought for sure progress was being made. A few hours later my doctor checked me - no progress at all. Cue disappointment 2.0. Doctor decided to use foley bulb next. My nurse kept telling me I had "the cervix of steel."
Since he already knew that I was planning on getting an epidural, he asked me to get it before he inserted the foley as it is a painful process. I agreed and within the half hour the anesthesiologist was there to administer. Once the epi kicked in my doctor was there to insert the foley. DH watched most of this and said he was very relieved I had an epi prior to. The foley automatically deflates once the cervix reaches 4cm and this process didn't take as long as I feared it would. Just a few hours later my nurse came in to check and it was ready! We removed it and my doctor broke my water.
4cm to fully progressed pretty quickly (with lots of vomiting on an empty stomach -- torture) and by 9pm I was 10cm and 100% effaced. Baby was still a little high so they decided to wait 30 minutes in hopes that he would descend. At 9:30 I started pushing. For the first hour, my epi was in full effect and I couldn't feel anything which actually frustrated me more than anything. I was having a hard time getting his head through the pelvis and I couldn't feel any progress.
Hour two of pushing began and my epi was starting to wear off pretty quickly. I decided not to press the button for a re-dose because I could feel him move down when I pushed and that felt better to me. I also didn't expect to push for another hour and a half.
At 11:58pm, I pushed one final time and he came out all at once and was on my chest before I even opened my eyes from the push. I first noticed his beautiful eyes, that he has his daddy's nose and all. that. hair!! The plan was for us to have skin to skin for an hour and the nurses would clean him up right there on my chest. After about a minute though, I heard my doctor say "It's time to take him. Now."
I thought maybe I had misunderstood and that they would just clean him up and bring him right back. DH went to the warmer with him and took pictures and put his first diaper on. My doctor started pressing on my stomach, which I expected, but he apologized and said "I have to do this a lot... I am sorry..." Since my epi had completely worn off before the birth I was med free and this next part was a horrible pain I can't explain. He was pressing on me and shoving sterile towels inside of me at the same time. DH was being kept on the other side of the room and looked terrified.
I started passing out but coming to every few minutes. It turns out I hemorrhaged during birth and was losing a lot of blood. The anesthesiologist came back in very quickly and gave me a re-boost of the epi and my doctor was being stern with the nurses for different equipment he needed. They were on the phone quite a bit and another nurse and another doctor came in at some point. My blood pressure dropped to 76/57 and my heart rate was 165.
They performed multiple procedures that I wasn't familiar with and also a D&C to stop the bleeding. After 2 hours of this, the bleeding finally reduced to normal but I was shaking pretty badly. I passed out again and woke up to a more calm environment but had 3 doctors and two nurses standing at my bedside. They were just staring at the monitors and talking quietly while they checked my BP every 2 minutes. My blood pressure and heart rate were still out of control and I was freezing. The nurses put tons of heated blankets on me and after a few hours I finally stabilized. I wasn't able to hold baby for almost 4 hours because I was so weak.
On Tuesday we were supposed to be discharged but my platelets and hemoglobin were too low and they wanted me to stay to be monitored overnight and re-test them on Wednesday morning. On wed my platelets barely increased and my hemoglobin dropped again (one point away from a blood transfusion). They decided to let me go but I was given bed rest instructions and have to go back tomorrow to be re-tested. Good blood vibes my way tomorrow if you could!
Wed was our first day home and at that point I had only had 2 hours of sleep, and not all at once, since Sunday morning. Exhausted is not even the word for it. Breast feeding was not going as well as I hoped it would and my milk hadn't come in yet (although I know this much is normal). In the hospital I had 5 lactation consultants and 3 nurses "help" me but it never got better. My nipples go flat unless he bites them and his mouth never gets wide enough for a proper latch. I was given a lecture by the nurse that discharged us about how supplementing with formula was only for moms who have decided to give up completely on BF and if I did that, he would never eat breast milk again.
We left the hospital with a screaming baby and sobbing mommy. I was so weak from the blood loss and so sad that he was hungry and I couldn't help him. Throughout the day at home he was attached to the boob for hours at a time all day long. No exaggeration. DH would take him and he would scream the entire time until I tried to feed him again. By 11pm I still hadn't slept and he was still screaming. I was heartbroken and defeated. My MIL told me there was no shame in supplementing and to listen to my own intuition. DH was completely supportive so at midnight I gave him some formula. The second I put the bottle in his mouth, he looked right at me and sighed so deeply I swear you could almost hear him say, "thank you." He ate one ounce, burped and fell right to sleep. Then I sobbed because I felt guilty for caving but more so for not feeding him sooner. He had been so uncomfortable all day long.
I tried to pump the next day but still got nothing - not even colostrum. I tried to breast feed but he still wasn't getting anything. My nipples were destroyed and bleeding already. So we FF Thursday. He was such a happy guy that day, complete change from the day before. On Friday I pumped again and got an ounce of milk!! I was so happy I cried. Since then we are doing 50/50 formula and pumped milk. I try to latch him but he just doesn't get on properly. He does not oppose either one and does not refuse breast milk because of the formula - contrary to what the boob nazi's told me at the hospital.
Not that you asked, but here is what I have learned in my one week of motherhood:
Shit happens. When your heart opens to this beautiful baby, please let it open your mind. Birth is probably not what you expect, or maybe it will be exactly what you hope for. Either way - what matters is a healthy baby and healthy mommy. I never expected to be induced (with every method available to us) and I didn't expect to use formula. But my son is healthy and happy. I beat myself up over using formula at first but why? I really wanted to BF but the perfect latch and feeds weren't in our cards. I'm glad to be able to pump too but if it hadn't worked, that would be ok. For us, this is a perfect harmony. And we are happy!
Visitors - tell them no when you want to. I had someone at the hospital 100% of the time during the day. I never got to nap because they all wanted to hear about how it went, how's it going. We have had visitors at home constantly. I haven't napped at all and I can feel it. People think when you have a baby that they are automatically welcome to sit on your couch and meet your baby because damnit, they had to wait 9 months too. Nope. I know they are excited to meet him but I am the one who has to care for him all day and I need rest. And the advice to "let visitors take over so you can sleep for a bit" is kind of ridiculous. Everyone that has visited is a trusted friend or relative but that doesn't mean I will leave my days old baby with them to go in my room and nap. That's just not realistic to me. So, just say that now is not a good time if it's not. Period. You will be glad you did. I've already declined a few for this week and I'm stoked about it.
Trust yourself. You are this baby's mom and only you. You won't know every thing at once, but you will learn. And if it doesn't go according to plan, trust your mother's intuition. That shit is real.
Re: Baby W's birth story (long)
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
Anyway, congratulations! He is so cute and I'm glad that you are doing well.
Waiting on my baby girl
EDD 2/5/14
And I hear ya on the visitors. I am handling that different this time around.
Welcome officially to motherhood. It's that hardest yet most rewarding job you'll ever had...but you don't get paid
P.S. He's a doll!
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
BFP #3 Chart
And I would go back and tell that nurse to go eff herself. Feed your baby however works for you. Nobody should be making you feel guilty.
I also agree about visitors. We told people no overnight visitors for two weeks when we had both kids so we could relax, enjoy our family, and figure out how things work best for us without any interference. And yeah it's nice that theoretically people say you can go nap while letting others watch your baby, but when that baby starts crying people are pretty quick to hand them back. Not really helpful.
.
My Goodreads Read Shelf
* After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
TTC #1 since July 2012
Cycles 1-9: BFN
Cycle 10: Surprise BFP on 10/17/2013!
EDD: June 25, 2014
Baby Girl born via induction June 26, 2014
My TTC Journey Blog
*TTC since 10/11*
BFP: 9/30/12, EDD: 6/15/13
*~*Our miracle arrived on 6/13/13*~*
Thank you so much for sharing your story. it sounds quite scary at points, but you have your cute baby boy and in the end thats all that matters.
and the boob nazi can shut up! how do people like that think they're being helpful?
The Rowdy Roberts
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP! Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64 Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
Did you have a lot of heartburn?
My Ovulation Chart
We had his one week check up this afternoon and his ped and her nurse were so supportive of my supplementing. That was a huge breath of fresh air for me!
Should have the results of my blood test tomorrow afternoon. Hoping they've stabilized to put that portion behind us.
Thank you for sharing your birth story and your advice. I'm going to take the visitors part to heart.