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big problems with our group of friends
Hi everyone.
I would love some advice about a big upheaval our group is going through right now.
We have a group of very close friends, there are about 13 of us altogether, all couples with children and one single man.
The single guy and one of our married female friends have been flirting pretty badly and spending a lot of time together alone, working out every morning etc while the married ladies husband stayed at home with the kids.
The group has blown up a few times as to sit and watch the flirting, tickling, laughing and carrying on is too much sometimes. The single man and married lady get upset when someone points it out to them that it is bad behaviour and not right. They vow nothing is going on and they are just friends blah blah.
Anyhow, things have got gradually worse and the husband asked the wife to stop spending so much time with the single guy. She refused to stop seeing him.
The couple split up for a week over this issue and other issues obviously but unfortunately our dear friend (the husband) committed suicide.
It is extremely sad for all involved (especially their children).
The main problem now is how do we as a group get over this?
As the single man and now widowed lady are spending even more time together. The obvious flirting in front of us has stopped because the tension is so high right now, but they are going out all the time for dinner, waterskiing, running etc.
Do we sit and wait for them to come out and say we are a couple? Should we accept this situation or is it intolerable? I honestly don't think we can all stay friends and watch this couple be together in front of us knowing the poor friend killed himself over this.
Its hard to say anything at the moment because they are denying having a physical relationship.
But we are all hurting and don't know how to move forward.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Re: big problems with our group of friends
Nothing at all.
Don't interfere. YOu cannot stop these 2.
That man didn't commit suicide because of the affair. He had ongoing problems.
Again, stay out of it. Nothing you can do about it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I understand where you're coming from - to a point. WHen you have a solid friend group, to have something like this happen - there is a degree of "what about the GROUP?!".
But... past that? This isn't a GROUP issue. It really isn't. And I agree- no one "caused" your friend to commit suicide. There is something deeper going on to lead someone to make such a choice in their lives.
You, on your own, need to figure out what is right for you. This COULD BE a "group ending" event. Peopel may each decide for themselves to pull away from that new "couple" (if it's actually that), and may decide to just back away all together. Who knows.
But it's really not a group decision on "what do WE do?". You are each individuals.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Although she did not cause the man to commit suicide, I could not hang out with someone who is a cheat.
Someone stated you don't know what happened behind closed doors. No one deserves to be cheated on. Cheating on someone IS a character flaw. Period. These people are low quality people I would not want in my life.