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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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how to get over something that really makes you angry?
Arrrrg! I'm so pissed off today! I am trying not to let something bother me, but it really is. It involves someone being immature on facebook. I'm so tempted to retaliate, and write them a nasty email or something but I know that it would make me as immature as they are.
So how do you all chill out when something really gets your goat? What are some ways that you blow off steam, or just let it go, and forget the fact that someone out there is a raging A hole and treating you unfairly?
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Re: how to get over something that really makes you angry?
BUT...do NOT send it.
Let loose and write down everything you are feeling; in this letter, give her a good telling off and do not spare the Technicolor sentiment. Use every 4 letter word under the moon and stars; use every off color phrase and off color label that you can think of...and apply it all to her, in the letter.
Make it as long and ascerbic and as vicious as you wish.
And when you are done: print it out and shred it, burn it, destroy it. Do not send it.:)
If you are an artist, make this entire incident into some sort of work of art.:) USe your imagination.
If this is somebody else who's gotten your goat: standing up for your rights will do the trick nicely. Don't let anybody play you or take you for a ride; do not permit this person to take advantage of you.
To blow off steam in general
A hobby is a must. We all need an outlet to blow off our energy.
She's a "raging a hole and treating you unfairly" - and what she did was delete you from FB?
Um.... wow. You're giving FB WAY too much power in your life. You're equating not being friends on FB to being totally erased from someone's life?
Maybe now I understand why people have reservations about FB and the drama it causes. Because of people like YOU.
I don't know what happened between the two of you, but no, please, SEND her that message so that SHE can say "Wow- good call on my part. I don't need this person or this drama in my life".
I unfriend people on FB. People who are never on it, or who I haven't seen/talked to in forever. Etc. I keep my friend group relatively small and I try to keep it to people who I actually want to stay in touch w/ and want to see what's going on in their lives. I dont' collect friends JUST to collect friends. AND if I feel a friendship has run it course and it's over? Yes, I delete those people too.
It's FB. It's not life. It's a tool to keep up on what's going on w/ other people, but it's not the be-all/ end-all of friendships or life.
Heck - here's a REALLY crazy concept. I actually have friends who aren't even ON FB at all. ON NO! How will our friendship ever survive?
So guess what...I don't need fb to tell me who my friends are either, nor do I "collect" people, as you say. But when someone I actually care about goes to an extreme measure to separate herself so completely from me, I find it odd, I find it hurtful, and I find it irritating. Did I respond to her and cause drama? No....I took a few days to let myself deal with the feeling of rejection, vented anonymously to strangers to get it off my chest, and got over it.
So shut your sarcastic pie hole, cause YOU sound like a bit of drama yourself.
LOL. I also like how your first paragraph is all "I I I". What YOU want, what YOU feel, how YOU'RE a great friend.
Between your rage at being de-friended on Facebook and all these "I" statements - perhaps we're getting a better idea of your ex-friends perspective.
Glad to see you missed the point, entirely.
The point being - that paragraph came across really self-centered. If this was such a great, long friendship - SHE didn't play a role in that at all? And the friendship falling apart? You were totally 100% innocent? It usually takes two to tango.
Look - I don't know you, and I clearly don't know your friend. A friendship ending sucks. I've had it happen too. It sucks. And hell- the person I most recently lost - I'm more glad that she's gone than sad, but I STILL have moments where I think "I miss her".
But somewhere in this, your exfriend is probably doing what she did because SHE'S hurt too. Even if she was 80% in the wrong, she probably hurts too. And if she is the one "more" in the wrong, it's probably easier to just cut ties than try to admit that she was wrong.
I can totally understand that. And it sounds like there is a bit of an unknown factor on your end to the fallout of the friendship. I get that that is really frustrating.
I clearly don't know the full story - good luck moving forward.
Perhaps my explanation will help you.
This person had told me repeatedly that she no longer wanted to talk anymore. She was also passive aggressive on FB and was really into it so she showed up everywhere reminding me of my hurt that we were no longer friends.
I really needed to focus on my real life rather than FB and accept we were growing apart and focus my life in another direction. It really helped me do that.
We have gotten through this to go onto having better communication without being on FB. It's hard not to take this personal, but in some ways it's a way to take your friendship and if you want to make it work better.
If you want to be friends with this person I might contact them via text or email and tell them you noticed you are no longer friends on FB and apologize for your part in the fight. You might say you understand being FB friends might be hard for her right now but that she is welcome to contact you via email or text if that is better for her.
I think there is a way to distance yourselves while remaining friendly and mature as long as the other person can be mature as well. It super sucks to lose a friend. I feel your pain, but these things do happen and it's how you respond to it that counts. If you are able to respond maturely and positively at the very least you can be proud of yourself and not want to hide if you run into her again. Believe me I've been down the path of angry fights and completely cutting off someone and this path is by far more desirable, although it does take more work. Best of luck.
I will say my one friend also was making comments like she didn't want me in her life anymore. I took the hint, and yes it hurt. I didn't ask her about it then because of many reasons and not wanting to start drama. So in this case it worked that we still talked and she finally brought it up when she was in the right mind frame a few years later.
Yes definitely still keep playing the cool mature card, and who knows eventually she may get in touch with you and apologize. Remember these things have nothing to do with YOU. As personal as it seems right now it is 99.9% about her. It's HER problems and issues not YOURS.