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That Damn Xbox...
So this is the weekend that I have been dreading for SO long.. the weekend the XBOX 1 comes out.. now my SO is a gamer he loves his games and I will play some games with him because some I actually enjoy but sometimes when he plays his stupid XBOX games i lose it!! I get so miserable and turn into the biggest bitch but I just hate that it turns him into an anti social mush. and the time goes by SO fast and then the whole day is wasted or its so late at night... so I told him this weekend I am take out the credit card and going shopping I am not staying home cleaning for the holiday while he sits on his ass and plays his games.. it will not happen.. granted its about the only thing we fight about which i am fine with but like I just hate it!!! I need some ideas for the weekend not to drive myself insane.. oh and hes going to have some guys over to play fifa one of the days so the guy's wife and I are going shopping.. but thats just one day.. what should I do the others?! help.. i hate that stupid xbox!! lol
Re: That Damn Xbox...
There are things to do and places to go. He can't waste his time when something pressing or important is going on.
that's hard. If it were me I would be brutallly honest with him and say something along the lines of you're X years old -- you can't spend 8 hours a day on the weekend playing video games, there's more important things to do. I mean, it's one thing to do it for a few hours but the whole day? that is just a bit much in my opinion.
Why don't you talk about doing stuff together that he likes? Going for a hike before it gets way too cold, then maybe going out for a drink and a few appetizers or something? Get out of the house - don't suggest doing anything around the house as an alternative to xbox. If he's anything like my husband saying something like "let's clean the gutters!" isn't necessarily going to get him to get off the couch and stop playing video games. I'd suggest saying somethign like let's go hiking/look at foliage and then grab a beer and watch a football game (college or nfl) on the way home. This way you're spending time together --- let's face it, after working all week, it's nice to spend relaxing time together with our SO's.
It's not like you're forbidding him to play - but draw the line on how long he can play it for...
thanks for all the advice!! I have to say it has gotten better since we started dating.. its not like i hate all video games (I play some with him) I just sometimes cant stand when he wastes his day doing it!! We have been better with getting out of the house and doing things and i am actually taking dance class and its amazing how he is realizing that hes not into the games as much anymore.. only thing that is bothering me at the moment is that I know the new xbox comes this weekend and it will be a binge I guess I am over reacting and I should just finsih crap I need to finish and let him have his fun lol. And I would never date anyone else.. i hate the video games yes but that doesnt define who he is and what our relationship is based on. I just consider him playing a bump in the road and i guess it doesnt hurt to argue a little lol but yea he does somethings for me that he hates doing but its okay! and Come to think of it I may get the apartment together for the Holiday and then do some crafts for christmas! and maybe even play a few games of the game i like! lol (not being a hipocrite I know when to stop! )
I think it's totally natural to feel that way. It would drive me crazy if my husband sat on the couch and played video games all weekend! I get frustrated enough when he sits and watches 7+ hrs of football on the couch on Sunday (don't get me wrong I love football too but enough is enough!)
My ex loved gaming. My H also loves the games. The difference is H puts me before games. We have plenty of time for him to game while I'm working. Ex is still playing no matter what...
he does put me before gaming THANK GOD! just thank you for all your kind words and advice! and SarahAndrew2013 i am starting to get a little excited because there are some games I can play! lol but i agree i will do some things on my own! I plan on doing some crafts for Christmas!
One of our boys would rather live in a fantasy world of violent games. DH used to be a bouncer at a bar and has seen his fair share of real fights. DH won't touch or go near violent video games and has little interest in the rest.
One thing to know about the new Xbox is that if he plays other people online, if they don't have the new X-box, he won't be able to play them anymore. Luckily the buddy my husband plays against online doesn't have the money for the new x-box so we won't be getting one either any time soon.
To kill time this weekend, see if you can find any local holiday craft shows. Alsways interesting homemade stuff at those. Or treat yourself to some me time & get a mani/pedi.
So... this weekend ended up being better than I thought!!!
I went to Michaels I got a bunch of crafts to do took a few naps (i was so tired lol ) and then came back from shopping with the surprise of the Christmas tree up!!
i also made this! it was my little project! I painted everything except the trees!
Hello Ladies - wife of a gamer with the XBOX One and PlayStation 4. (deep breathe) I hate them. Yes the features are cool (voice control) which is pretty awesome because you can randomly say "XBOX OFF" and it'll shut down.
(I've used this once mid argument, and it got his attention pretty quickly) I agree with @erikan73 it's reassuring that he's not out gambling or bar hopping, thankfully he was never really that type to begin with - but it can take focus and attention off of tasks or spending time together. I agree - when he games, I sneak up stairs and read - or put on my gun range ear protectors and stay down stairs. There may be a war going on in my living room - but I'll be oblivious to it. He finds it relaxing - I just don't find jumping up and down and screaming at the tv - relax. Oh well, to each their own.
Happily Ever After began 12.7.2013
My husband was a huge gamer. Hours every day playing on the console or computer. He still games but much less (much less) then friends. So much less that they miss him because he isn't playing every new game that comes out. They have been on him to get a DS and play Pokemon with him. He's really not interested in the DS for one (they can't understand that) and two Pokemon is not the kind of game he likes.
We all talked about this two nights ago. Only because they were trying to convince him to get various games to play with them. I told them if they found a game I would like to play H would play more. I've tried different games and haven't liked any all that much. Plus I'm all thumbs when it comes to playing with any controller (and the skills of a three year old on the keyboard). The vibration used to make me nervous (still surprised me sometimes). And the only game I've ever really loved was WoW. It's the only one where I could easily control my character on the keyboard.
But I knew long before we married how much H loves games. I still fall asleep to the sounds of the keyboard. I find it soothing. And I would not change that part of him.
I have gone shopping, cleaned, made dinner, talked on the phone, watched tv, read, did crafts, and many other things while he's gamed.
The key is knowing when to put down that book or game. If the guy or girl doesn't know how to do that then there is a problem (no matter the age).
In fact I am not boring.. I dont mind him playing games when the times appropirate or when we really dont have much else going on but wasting the day is too much. I love my SO for other things he contributes to my life.. I have gotten over the fact that he does play games and that will be his thing.. Its just sometimes as a woman it gets annoying when its been all day long and something I've asked for earlier that day (something simple) just hasnt been done and put on hold because of gaming.. the xbox one is pretty cool I have tried to play with him and its pretty interesting but i cannot sit there for hours upon hours and play.. and i think he is realizing that which i am thankful. We just moved to Northen Virginia for work from New York.. if I was in New York i would have 4654 things to do while hes gaming or to be honest he would even be so distracted that he wouldnt be gaming.. but we live now 5 hours from home and there isnt much to do on the weekends other than get the apartment together and hang out with our friends but everyone has their own lives so not every minute can be spent hanging out and doing things.. I go shopping because I live a BLOCK from the mall I walk there and walk back.. and to be honest its great excersise for my ankle which is recovering from a 16 month long injury.. I am a dancer and i am just getting back into it i cant go full throttle yet because I am not 100% cleared by the doctor. When i do take class it is a good time for me to veg out in something I love but also for him.. Since I posted the first post there has been a lot of growth.. I love crafting and I found that i am in my own world when I do and I am going to be opening up my own Etsy Shop so a lot of good came out of it.. I just get very stressed when i realize the amount of money an Xbox One is and i was nervous he was going to play ALL the time non stop and he has actually been really good..
and for the "shopping" comment I made.. first of all I joke with him by saying I am going to spend his money if he plays games.. its a joke.. and honestly if he can go out and spend almost a grand on the XBox One and accessories i think i can do a little shopping myself i am NOT spend a grand but a little shopping never hurt.. did you ever think that some people might like to shop? I have plenty of hobbies but sometimes when people are not avalible on the weekends that is what I do.. I enjoy it. to each its own.
and in NO way is my SO lazy either.. he actually does help out around the house and works his butt off at work and to provide for us. Just because he plays games doesnt make him lazy... just putting it out there.
yes i am very back and forth on this issue because I love my SO with all my heart and i really sometimes dont mind the games..and sometimes I do.. it really just depends on the day.. and I am not a nagging person its just the situations in which he decides to play the games (like we have to go to a party and 45 minutes before hes still playing.. i bug!) its stuff like that.
I know many of you can relate.. and honestly i love this forum and if there isnt anything postive or supportive to say then please dont say it.. telling someone that they "shouldn't be with their SO over something stupid" is really not okay... we never know how people fell in love and etc.. just saying
H will sometimes play until the last second (before an event). He gets caught up in his games. As long as we aren't late because of it it's ok. It may be a bit annoying if I'm ready and waiting for him to find a decent stopping point. But there are times he's waiting on me because I'm slow at getting ready.
Is what's making the gaming so hard to handle is being someplace new? Doesn't seem like him playing before the move was a problem. Sounds like he is adjusting to a slower pace of life by spending more time playing. More time may be needed for the two of you to find a good balance between games, hobbies, dance, shopping, and taking care of the home.
thank you for your positive advice!
things are getting better and luckily dance classes arent so cheap but i only go about twice a month because i am still having trouble with my ankle. (its so frusturating)
but we are learning and he is learning that games cant control his life... there has been a lot of growth THANK GOD! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all here! xo