Buying A Home
duckie1905
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
XP: Collecting on an "IOU" wedding gift for first home purchase?
Hi everyone! I'm an occasional poster on a few boards and I want to solicit opinions about something that is going on in my husband's family.
For our wedding in 2009, my husband's father and stepmother gave us a card that stated, basically, their wedding gift to us was $5,000 towards the purchase of our first home. We haven't discussed it since. There was no money/check in the card; just an IOU.
Well, we're getting ready to buy our first home early next year. I want to ask my father-in-law to make good on the money so that we can throw an additional $5,000 into our down payment. We have 20% already so we don't NEED the money. It would be nice, though. My in-laws know that we have received pre-approval and are currently looking. My husband wants to just let it go because he feels like he shouldn't have to ask for what is supposed to be a gift. Their relationship has been strained for a while, in part because of this money, and I'm not sure my FIL even realizes it is a hot-button issue with my husband.
I will side with whatever my husband wants to do because this is his family and his father. I was just curious if anyone had an opinion, either way.
For our wedding in 2009, my husband's father and stepmother gave us a card that stated, basically, their wedding gift to us was $5,000 towards the purchase of our first home. We haven't discussed it since. There was no money/check in the card; just an IOU.
Well, we're getting ready to buy our first home early next year. I want to ask my father-in-law to make good on the money so that we can throw an additional $5,000 into our down payment. We have 20% already so we don't NEED the money. It would be nice, though. My in-laws know that we have received pre-approval and are currently looking. My husband wants to just let it go because he feels like he shouldn't have to ask for what is supposed to be a gift. Their relationship has been strained for a while, in part because of this money, and I'm not sure my FIL even realizes it is a hot-button issue with my husband.
I will side with whatever my husband wants to do because this is his family and his father. I was just curious if anyone had an opinion, either way.
Re: XP: Collecting on an "IOU" wedding gift for first home purchase?
Your DH definitely needs to be the one to bring this up. I am really torn on this one on which way to go.
If the ILs don't mention it (it's not like they forgot - I mean how does a couple give an IOU for a wedding gift for $5k and then forget when it's their own son?) then they could be hoping it's water under the bridge or maybe they are politely hanging back to not be assuming that you two need the funds and they are waiting for you to bring it up.
If you choose to mention it, it could be something like, "We have to provide documentation of available funds to our mortgage lender. For our wedding you gave us a gift. Are those funds still a possibility for us to use for this home?"
If you do mention it, I would initially avoid any talk about the dollar amount. Just leave it as a generic idea.