Money Matters
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christmas gifts for you and your spouse

For those of you who are trying to aggressively save for whatever goal...are you and your SO exchanging Christmas gifts? If so, are you being realistic and setting limits and what are your limits? We never go overboard and I don't intend to this year either but I'm torn between our usual ~$100 gift range and just doing nothing and saving. I know it won't really break the bank and we're not suffering financially. I just hate having that nagging voice in the back of my head saying why not just save....Ugh!
Anniversary

Re: christmas gifts for you and your spouse

  • We stopped exchanging gifts about 5 years ago, holidays and birthdays.

  • I've been wondering about this for ourselves but mainly because I don't even have any ideas of what to even get him lol. There's really nothing we've been needing, so I'm not sure what we'll do.
  • Not sure what we are going to do this year, but I will still most likely get my wife something small.  We took a blood bath this fall with medical bills and other expenses.  We have basically drained our savings accounts.  We are also setting up our wills and other legal documents that should cost us another $400.   My side of the family is going to give baked goods to each other instead of actual gifts for the adults.
  • H and I exchange gifts.

    We have a hard $100 limit.  I mentioned in a previous post that we still had some BBB gift cards left over from our wedding.  So we bought a kitchen item that each of us wanted (a pasta press for me and a mandoline for him) with those gift cards.  Those are luxury items for us and won't be used super frequently, so they are going under the tree.  We also bought a blanket with those gift cards, but we need it now so it's not going under the tree.

    For his "big gift" I am getting H a first edition, undedicated masonic Bible from the 1930's.  I found it at an estate sale.  He's a mason, and he will love it.  It's in almost pristine condition.  I spent about $40 on it, which is a lot for a book.  However, I checked ebay after the fact and those same Bibles were selling for $300-$400 depending on their condition and whether they had been dedicated already or not.

    I think H is either getting me a new perfume I've been wanting (for years) or starting my crystal collection in "my" pattern with several stems. I already have some crystal, but it was inherited and really isn't to my taste.  I found another pattern I like much more.  I found both the perfume and the crystal for about $45 over Black Friday and sent the links to H.  They were both really good deals.  I'm pretty sure he got one of them.

    In other words, we use holidays as a reason to buy some luxury items we want but normally wouldn't splurge on.  We do set the limit so that we don't go crazy with it.  It's not necessarily the single most responsible thing to do with our money, but it really happens twice a year for us (Christmas and birthdays), and so we are ok with it.  Most times we come in way under our budget.

    Now stockings?  We are silly and stuff our stockings with things we buy anyway - but that only one of us uses (toiletries, socks, etc.).  For most of it we literally go into the bathroom or the kitchen and just pull out unopened bottles of whatever we happen to have.  For instance, we don't agree on toothpaste, so H gets a tube of his, and I get a tube of mine - and both tubes come from our bathroom cupboard.  And then we raid each other's dressers.  H gets his fancy socks and I get my overpriced pantyhose that are still in their packaging.  And every year we try to find something funny/creative that we didn't do the previous year just to rib each other a bit.  This year I'm putting H's shaving cream into the stocking because he discovered fancy shaving cream this year and now refuses to use the cheap stuff - except his fancy stuff is only sold at sephora, so he makes ME buy it for him because he's too embarrassed to do it himself.  So stockings are fun and cost us $0.
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  • We have agreed to not get each other anything.

    However, I am going to California to visit a friend after the New Year, and considering that my Christmas present.  H went to Vegas in October for a bachelor party. So that was his Christmas gift. 

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  • we have set a $100 limit on each other.  Dh's bday is Dec 8th so i'm hit hard twice in the same month!  I spend less on his bday than xmas.  I have gotten some DVD's on his list, some fun smart phone photo lens, I'm hoping to finish up a photo book for him (fingers crossed), gift cards and fun stocking stuffers.  I don't feel bad about spending because we have saved up for it.

    He already got me a coach wallet :) a small rug for our kitchen and I"m hoping spa gift cards.
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  • I think the way that we broke it down, we each are getting each other a big gift and at least one small gift. It breaks down to a little over $100 as a limit.

    What made it kind of nice is the fact that we each know our bigger gift. He picked out a soldering set and I opted for a newer model of the pedometer tracker that I use. We're each picking out a surprise smaller gift.


    Anniversary
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  • Since H is going back to school in January for 18 months, we will be spending about $5000-$7000 on that (cash) so I told him that is his Xmas gift, haha. I may pick him up a few small gifts for him as I know he loves getting them. On the otherhand, I just bought myself a new video game system to keep myself entertained while he's studying hard, so I told him I don't want anything else :o)  As in the last year or two, we generally cut back on gifts as we our building our e-fund, saving for school and saving for a DP.
  • We usually go overboard every other year, but since we have been saving up to pay off debts and save for a DP, we decided on $100 each. We both spent a little more, so we averaged about $120, but we still stayed under budget when it came to everyone's gifts in total.

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  • I am getting H a pretty big gift this year, but it's unusual. Usually we do around $50 for Christmas and bigger gifts for birthdays, but things were tight on his birthday and I just couldn't get him a gift earlier this year.

    I've had the cash set aside for this for awhile. My birthday is next week, and I've told H I don't need anything for my birthday or Christmas this year, but I bet he'll get me something small anyway. He already knows what I'm getting him; it's the kind of purchase that will benefit us both.
  • vlagrl29 said:
    we have set a $100 limit on each other.  Dh's bday is Dec 8th so i'm hit hard twice in the same month!  I spend less on his bday than xmas.  I have gotten some DVD's on his list, some fun smart phone photo lens, I'm hoping to finish up a photo book for him (fingers crossed), gift cards and fun stocking stuffers.  I don't feel bad about spending because we have saved up for it.

    He already got me a coach wallet :) a small rug for our kitchen and I"m hoping spa gift cards.
    I'm in the same situation, H's bday is Dec 10 and we have a $100 limit for each other for each occasion so December can be a little painful. I'm using it as an excuse to update his wardrobe but I did get him a video game that he wants
  • DH's family gives conservatively. One gift from them and one gift from Santa. If you read some of my earlier posts you know a) we are bigger spenders hence trying to budget better and b) my family goes huge for Christmas and sets the bar pretty high. They must spend thousands on us kids.

    DH gave me his wish list and it is a (used) fish house. They run $400.00. I'm struggling because he works hard and brings in the majority of our income and I think he should have it. But that is a lot of money. Granted its the amount we usually spend, but after joining a more money conscious world these past few months it seems like a lot. And, I don't have any ideas for him. Maybe I'd feel different if I had a wish list with something that large on it. Maybe I'll tell him to get the fish house and give him some smaller ideas for me and maybe he won't find a fishouse? 

    Birthdays and Christmas is usually the two times per year we buy things we really dream about. The rest of the year we just spend our money on day to day stuff no big ticket items, minimal traveling. So, Christmas is usually when we do bigger things.
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  • @Smonet my family is the same way with Christmas. It's such a hard battle to change it, especially when my parents are so generous with us. For them, I'm trying to do lots of small but thoughtful gifts this year.

    I'm very curious-what is a fish house?
  • We don't give each other gifts, really. We're just not gift people. It really doesn't have to do with money for us. Our families give us way more than we need, so we just don't do it for each other. We'd really rather spend the money on a really nice date night.
  • Smonet said:
    DH's family gives conservatively. One gift from them and one gift from Santa. If you read some of my earlier posts you know a) we are bigger spenders hence trying to budget better and b) my family goes huge for Christmas and sets the bar pretty high. They must spend thousands on us kids.

    DH gave me his wish list and it is a (used) fish house. They run $400.00. I'm struggling because he works hard and brings in the majority of our income and I think he should have it. But that is a lot of money. Granted its the amount we usually spend, but after joining a more money conscious world these past few months it seems like a lot. And, I don't have any ideas for him. Maybe I'd feel different if I had a wish list with something that large on it. Maybe I'll tell him to get the fish house and give him some smaller ideas for me and maybe he won't find a fishouse? 

    Birthdays and Christmas is usually the two times per year we buy things we really dream about. The rest of the year we just spend our money on day to day stuff no big ticket items, minimal traveling. So, Christmas is usually when we do bigger things.
    I would have a hard time spending $400 on DH.  He wants an iPad mini retina display 32g (?)...it's not cheap, but he knows we can't afford it.  Would your or his parents be able to go halfsies with you so he can have it?  If not, tell him he needs more items on his list.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We exchange gifts, but they tend to be pretty practical, so in a way I feel like they are things we would need to budget money for regardless of whether they were given at Christmas.  That said, they may be slightly higher end versions of those things than we would buy at other times of the year.  For example, I am getting sunglasses from DH this year, and they are definitely not the cheapie drug store ones.

    We also have a rule that everyone in the family has to make one gift for everyone else.  This tradition has been a nice way to cut expenses while still giving thoughtful gifts.  To be honest, though, it can be more stressful than just finding something to buy!
  • maple2 said:
    We exchange gifts, but they tend to be pretty practical, so in a way I feel like they are things we would need to budget money for regardless of whether they were given at Christmas.  That said, they may be slightly higher end versions of those things than we would buy at other times of the year.  For example, I am getting sunglasses from DH this year, and they are definitely not the cheapie drug store ones.

    We also have a rule that everyone in the family has to make one gift for everyone else.  This tradition has been a nice way to cut expenses while still giving thoughtful gifts.  To be honest, though, it can be more stressful than just finding something to buy!
    I saw this cool thing on FB that I"m going to do with DD for the grandparents.  You buy plain colored round ornaments, paint your child's hand white(not the thumb) and then press it into the ornament and outline them and add face parts - the fingers become snow men.  Thought it was a cute idea.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Xstatic3333 I'm really focusing on photo gifts this year. So, the time and energy is put into the books but I got a great $$ deal. This helps. I also think I'm going to sew rice neck wraps for the women in my family. Again, it will only be $9.00 but so cute and I'm sure everyone could use one.

    We live on a large lake and when the ice freezes everyone builds little houses and puts them out on the ice and they hang out in them all winter. Luckily DH wants a tent like one that he can drag out to the middle of the lake and set up for a few hours and then dismantle when he comes in.  I figure we have lived on this lake for 3 years and he has always wanted one.  I did tell him to see if his parents wanted to give him $ towards it for X-mas and he saved his birthday money from his parents. My parents are giving him some of the spendy extras like heaters, gear etc... Hopefully he finds one for $400 and we only have to kick in $250. That would be better.

    A bit redneck :) lol
    photo 120812_44341.jpg
  • I saw this cool thing on FB that I"m going to do with DD for the grandparents.  You buy plain colored round ornaments, paint your child's hand white(not the thumb) and then press it into the ornament and outline them and add face parts - the fingers become snow men.  Thought it was a cute idea.
    Thanks for the suggestion!
  • $100 is our limit for gifts for each other this year. 
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  • Last two years we didn't give each other anything, but we were struggling pretty hard.  This year we have almost everything paid off, and I build Christmas into our budget, so I don't feel as bad.  We have set limits, etc, nothing crazy.  I love Christmas and I can't wait to buy him things this year!

    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • We just do something fun together like go to a concert or take a little trip to a bed and breakfast.
  • Yeah I think a weekend trip or a few nights out are probably better. :)
  • @Smonet that sounds fun!  Splitting it with family makes it seem very reasonable, too.  
  • We are doing gifts this year.  When we set up our new budget program in April we came up with a dollar amount and started saving so we'd have that amount ready by December.  Our limit this year is $125.

    We have skipped gifts in the past though and it wasn't a big deal.  My favorite part of Christmas is just all the extra time we get together because both our jobs give us paid time off between Christmas and New Years
  • We buy house things for each other for Christmas and birthdays.  I got porch lights for my birthday. Last year for christmas we redid the very old plumbing in our very old house.  This year we are debating on a shed for the yard or new drywall for the living room. Usually it ends up being a project that we both wanted done but it didn't quite fit in the normal "house update" budget. We try to keep in about $100 for birthdays and under $300 for Christmas.
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