Getting Pregnant
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s/o speaking up on FB

A few of my "good Christian girl" FB friends "liked" an article that IMO, basically talked about how our city has more dogs than kids b/c everyone here is selfish and doesn't believe children are a blessing. It implied the reason people are waiting to have children or choosing not to have children at all is b/c they just want to spend money and have no responsibility.

I wrote a FB response to the article that said:

"I would love to have children but due to medical issues have not been able to have a biological child and likely never will. I think it's ridiculous that the church favors families with children and alienates singles and childless couples. I often wonder if people in the church look at me and my childless status and think I am selfish."

I got numerous "likes" including from my mother and college adviser (a very smart lady). There were also a few "just adopt!" responses.

I left it up for about 12 hours and then deleted it b/c I didn't want it showing up on everyone's newsfeed for days.

Married August 2009

3 years. 5 losses.

Our rainbow baby boy born 11.16.15

Re: s/o speaking up on FB

  • Way to stand up for you and your situation!! It's like people don't understand that not everything comes as easy as 1-2-3. That sounds like a terrible article and I hope people don't really believe that. How dare somebody write an article comparing children to dogs. I love my dog to pieces, but she is not a baby. And then throw religion into it... Ugh.
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  • I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself! That article sounds ridiculous. People need to learn to think before they speak!  
    DX: 6/2012 PCOS  TTC: 6/2013  BFP: 9/6/2013  Attempt Natural m/c: 10/29/2013 D&C: 2/20/2014
    BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • So happy you stood up for yourself!
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
    image
    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • I think your post was very clear, well-written, and to the point.

    I also hate when people suggest for us to adopt, like it's not that big of a deal to just go fill out the paperwork and get a baby. Um, it's uber-expensive, personally invasive, and can take a looooong time and possibly be heartbreaking. Don't act like it's the same/as simple as going out and buying a car, people.
    Yup. We do plan to adopt but it was very difficult and heart wrenching to come to that decision and we know we have a long road ahead of us. It's not like you just go to the adoption store and pick out a baby.

    Married August 2009

    3 years. 5 losses.

    Our rainbow baby boy born 11.16.15

  • Flamingo86Flamingo86 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    Way to stand up for you and your situation!! It's like people don't understand that not everything comes as easy as 1-2-3. That sounds like a terrible article and I hope people don't really believe that. How dare somebody write an article comparing children to dogs. I love my dog to pieces, but she is not a baby. And then throw religion into it... Ugh.
    Unfortunately, people do believe that. The comments were littered with things like "proud mama of 5! People are so selfish these days!"

    Married August 2009

    3 years. 5 losses.

    Our rainbow baby boy born 11.16.15

  • I'm glad you spoke up. What a stupid, hurtful article.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I love you. What a graceful and succinct point to make. <3

    Cheering on all of my 3T ladies!  DX with PCOS - 11/2012 DH S/A & HSG - Normal - Too many rounds of Clomid = BFNs - New RE 5/2014 - Repeat Testing - Losing 40lbs before injects/IUI



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    Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

  • Well done Flamingo. I'm really glad you stood up for yourself (and the rest of us!)
    Anniversary image

    Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

    TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad sperm 
    February 2013: IUI #1 = BFN 
    October 2013: We made the decision to stop TTC and live without children.

    Nestie Besties with Xan921 
  • Glad you spoke up for yourself! I hate that people assume it's so easy for everyone and the just adopt comments... ugh, don't get me started.

    Also, so what if some childless couples don't want kids? There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have a children. If someone wants to spend their time and money on traveling or what-have-you, why does that automatically get them labeled as "selfish?" 
     image image
    10/10/2010
    TTC Since May 2011
    DX: Subclinical Hypothyroidism
    BFP #1: 11/21/2011. EDD: 8/4/2012. Missed M/C & D&C at 11w6d: 1/20/2012.
    BFP #2: 5/24/2012. EDD: 2/2/2013. Natural M/C at 6w0d: 6/9/2012.
    BFP #3: 12/6/2012. EDD: 8/19/2013. Missed M/C at 9w0d: 1/14/2013.
    BFP #4: 4/20/2013. EDD: 1/1/2014. Born at 36w3d: 12/7/2013
    BFP #5: 3/25/2015: EDD: 12/8/2015.
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    Lilypie - (IDGc)


  • @Flamingo86 - Great response! I love that your mom even provided her support! As a side note... When I was new to this Community I, regrettably, made the mistake of stating we may "just adopt". Although I meant it as "only adopt" (as opposed to going through the financial and emotional hardship of infertility treatment that in the end, may not be successful and adopting), I received valuable feedback from a couple of ladies to reframe my thinking about "just adopting". Unfortunately, I don't think folks, particularly those who have children, really understand what adopting truly involves. Maybe a topic for another FB posting. :)


    TTC since 3/2012 
    DH - 36; nml swimmers; Me - 36; almost no AMH (last 0.081), low AFC, nml FSH/LH
    Clomid + IUI #1 (6/2013) - BFN; #2 (7/2013) - BFFN
    IVF 1.0 5R/5F/2T (ET 6/11/2014) - no frosties, but BFP 8dp5dt (EDD 3/1/2015) 
    Lost our sweet baby boy, Lincoln Alexander 10/3/2014 (19w)
    IVF 2.0 - ER 3/25/2015 - 3R ZERO mature.
    Ovaries are done...
    DE IVF ER - 12/2/2016 (17R/10F = 8 frosties); FET 1.0 (1/27/2017) - BFP 6dp5dt (EDD 10/16/2017)
  • ::golf clap::

    That was very well put!
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    my read shelf:
    Sarah (mrs.vedo)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Flamingo, you are so amazing. That's a great, succinct response; proud of you for standing up to all the others posting on such an offensive article.

    Yeah, DH and I have been sooooo selfish the last 4 1/2 years of our marriage, not traveling or taking vacations and trying to pay down debt instead of getting further into it by immediately trying to procreate as much as possible. ::eyeroll:: People are so self-righteous and ignorant, it makes me see red!

    And really, really now, what is so very selfish about a couple choosing to rescue/adopt/foster animals rather than having children? Isn't that the exact opposite of being selfish??
    imageimage
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since July 2012
    BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
    BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
    B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
    Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
    Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!
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    Badge Unicorn
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  • srcr2011srcr2011 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    @Flamingo86 GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! You are brave and strong and I LOVE what you said. I'm a "good Christian girl" who has had 3 MC. People don't realized having a family is not as easy as just having sex or adopting a puppy. People are dumb. And people who don't have kids because they have had losses or can't get pregnant are the complete opposite of selfish! Do they not realize our heart aches so bad for babies?!?!
  • Good for you, flamingo! I hope it was well-received. 
    Congrats to my TTC buddy Madeline! Cheering for all the strong 3T ladies! 

    TTC since March 2012; DX: PCOS 4/2013 
    BFP 7/6/2013; EDD 3/6/2014 
    Diagnosed with Pre-E: 2/15/201
    Emergency induction: 2/16/2014
    Baby E born: 2/16/2014 at 12:56pm. 5lb 15oz



  • Good! Glad you said something. People just have no idea what goes on in peoples' lives to judge. Everyone has been thru different things and only they know what. "just adopt" Ya, not that easy idiot people... xoxo

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  • Good! Glad you said something. People just have no idea what goes on in peoples' lives to judge. Everyone has been thru different things and only they know what. "just adopt" Ya, not that easy idiot people... xoxo

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimageimage

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