Aggravating FB Lists (pr)

LuckyAngel07 · December 2013

It seems like every mom I know on FB has been posting these "X (# of) facts about my pregnancy" lists this whole past week. I start reading someone's status, see "Okay so I got X#..." and I have to hurry up and scroll past so I don't see any more.

Why the eff can't all the damn pr shit just disappear for a little while??

mrsvedo · December 2013

I've been seeing those a lot too and the random personal facts one that was going around a couple of weeks ago was annoying but this one borders on ragey. I'm sorry they're so prevalent on your FB too.

LittleLady77 · December 2013

I will never understand why some women feel the need to constantly update the world about every positive pregnancy related thing :-q seriously... no one cares except their mothers IMO. I get it all the time in my thread and it still bothers me.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that today.

Xan921 · December 2013

They've been showing up a lot on my facebook too. I've been reading them, I'm not sure why because some of them make me stabby, but I read one last night and the girl said she got pregnant through IVF so I reached out to her and she used the same RE that I am going to so it was interesting and I was glad I read it.

I think a lot of people simply do not know that posting stuff like that could rub people the wrong way. Before I found this community and got to know you ladies and the struggles that you/we are going through, I never would have thought twice about people posting those things. I think what makes things like that hard on us to read is because we know first hand what IF is like and can put names and faces to many others who do as well, but the average folk does not and therefore doesn't really 'get it' so I try not to let myself get annoyed or angry at them for that.

MRads · December 2013

So dumb. Nobody cares that much about your pregnancy. People use FB like their own journals and I just don't care.

Sewilson33 · December 2013

I saw this today on my FB and I didn't realize it was a new trend until now... Oh goody now I have so much to look forward to <------ sarcasm

blueeyedblossom · December 2013

I just saw my first one. :-( even after posting something earlier about how hurtful it can be to see PR things on FB.

ETA- I decided to comment on her list.

"I would like your status, but unfortunately I haven't been blessed with the chance to have kids, or even be pregnant. I guess I don't get to play. Who knows if I ever will *shrugs*"

LooneyLife · December 2013

blueeyedblossom said:

I just saw my first one. :-( even after posting something earlier about how hurtful it can be to see PR things on FB. ETA- I decided to comment on her list. "I would like your status, but unfortunately I haven't been blessed with the chance to have kids, or even be pregnant. I guess I don't get to play. Who knows if I ever will *shrugs*"

Posts like this are mostly just AWish. I think they're different than the pretending to be pregnant posts. I get that it's upsetting to you (and annoying and eye roll worthy to a lot of people, 3T or not), but why shouldn't she be allowed to post about her pregnancy? Why should you try and make her feel guilty for enjoying her pregnancy? If it's someone that is very close to you that is posting something insensitive, I feel like a better approach would be to contact them personally (maybe in a PM) instead of publicly shaming them.

ETA: I just feel like there are better ways to explain why you are hurt or educate if that's what you choose to do. I think that snarky responses often just perpetuate the "bitter betty" stereotype.

LuckyAngel07 · December 2013

I just skip over them. They're AWish as all hell, but I don't feel like stopping to comment on them. I'd rather ignore altogether unless it were someone I was really close to.

ILoveRedVino · December 2013

I like to see an initial pregnancy announcement, a gender announcement and a birth announcement. Bumps, nurseries, random appointment updates... No one cares other than immediate family.

Flamingo86 · December 2013

I have yet to see one of these lists.

ETA: Maybe I have successfully hid all the stupid people.

brij2006 · December 2013

I know I'm the odd one out here, and the posts I read were a bit different than the ordinary. But I was actually happy to see a couple of these posts.

A couple of my 2nd cousins posted them, and I learned 1 of them had 3 m/c's before she became pregnant with her daughter through IUI. Then I also learned another cousin had a m/c and got pregnant with twins through IVF. Both of these cousins are from the same side of the family I am beginning to learn all had IF. If they hadn't been open through those posts, then I wouldn't have any idea that even more of my dad's side of the family struggled through with IF.

Although, when H started seeing the posts he told me to like someone's so they can give me a number. Then I should describe my 6 weeks of pregnancy in detail. Yeah, no.

LuckyAngel07 · December 2013

I guess I'm just seeing them at the wrong time, seeing as my pregnancy just failed. I don't want to know about anyone else's. Especially the one who got pg 3 weeks after going off bc. That was the first one of these I saw and I wanted to hurl my monitor.

carcrashheart · December 2013

I get it. And prior to LO I would have felt the same way probably. But if I could, I would "play" as well. I would mention my three losses, four dr's, fertility treatments, etc. I didn't mention that I was pregnant until LO was born. But if we have #2 I'm considering actually making an announcement since I didn't last time. I didn't before because I knew first hand how much it hurt. But I also feel like I shorter myself on some happiness in an attempt to not upset others. I'm glad I did it, but I don't know that I will do the same again. Unfortunately, there are a lot of things you (rhetorically) can't always participate in for whatever reason, it isn't just this "game." But it is ok for people to be proud of their pregnancy, even though it upsets others. And believe me, I was (and still can be) so bitter I never felt that way. I guess I just read them and keep going. I ignored the girl that said she had trouble getting pregnant and that it took six months.

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