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xp on my BMB- Awkward student situation today- but so sweet

So there is a little boy in my class who comes from an extremely dysfunctional family. Parents on all kinds of drugs, grandma living with them to help raise the 3 kids all of who are emotionally disabled. Have crazy crap happening at home all the time, and have CPS visiting regularly. Well today, he brings me a "gift" for my baby. It was so sweet that he wanted to bring the baby a gift. I wanted to cry, but it was so awkward. He brought me a decorative baby changing table cover to use for my baby. The problem is that it was covered in stains, smelled of stale cigs and must, and I was scared to even bring it home because of the potential for bedbugs/lice (as they have been treated for both this school year). He is a positive attention starved child and has fits to get attention, but is spoiled by grandma at home who allows them to do whatever they want. I TRY to give him love and positive discipline at school, but he is hard to manage sometimes. It was so sweet that he wanted to give me something so badly. I thanked him in front of everyone and made him a thank you card to put in his afternoon folder thanking him for "thinking of me". I then brought the gift to the dump. I felt bad, but it really wasnt even something I could wash and give to goodwill. I hope he doesn't make a habit of bringing me used/nasty baby stuff. How can I handle it nicely but decline if he does? Can I nicely decline or should I just do what I did today? This is such an awkward situation for me because he really means well but his family is totally BSC.

"Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." 

-Maya Angelou


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Re: xp on my BMB- Awkward student situation today- but so sweet

  • Does he have a social worker, mobile therapist or even a behavior specialist consultant/TSS? If he does you could tell them what's happening and maybe they could encourage him to make you a card of some sort instead of bringing you baby things? 

    Being that you want to have a relationship with him that's positive and he's probably very used to have adults treat him poorly, I wouldn't decline a gift. I would thank him, but if it continues not make as big of a deal thanking him. He'll never know that you didn't take it home with you, but he will forever know that you appreciated it. 
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  • Normally I would say continue to accept the gifts and give him positive attention, my main concern is that he's taking these from his house obviously, and seeing what his situation is, I would be afraid his parents don't know he's doing this and it he gets caught would get in trouble. Honestly this boy needs one on one attention and if you're able to give that, great. Maybe sit down with him and do a craft together for the baby etc. if not, gosh, I really don't know. Above pp is insightful. I really hope there's a school counselor to help or a social worker you can discuss this with. Gl

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  • I think the other ladies' advice is good. I just want to say that is so sweet of him and wonderful of you for trying to figure out what is in his best interest and definitely don't feel bad for trashing it. It was really the thought that was important and not the gift!
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  • He has a counselor, but I didnt get to talk with her today. I feel certain his family knows he is taking them because he is brought to and picked up from school each day, so they would have had to see him bring it in. I didn't think it would be a good idea to decline any future gifts, but at the same time, I may speak with his grandmother (who is kind of the only sane person in his family) about it and tell her as much as I appreciate the thought, we really don't have anything we need for the baby and we are doing pretty well. He needs positive adults in his life, and so I didn't want to do anything to make myself another disappointment to him.

    "Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." 

    -Maya Angelou


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  • Maybe you could just make a big deal out of the gift and tell him one is enough and he is being too generous? That's the only thing I can think of.

    How old is he? Would another white lie work or is he old enough to know?
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    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
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