Financial Changes

always4278 · December 2013

My boyfriend and I are about to go through some really big financial changes in February. He was offered a really big opportunity to work on an app for Google that he patented. He's currently a sophmore in college but is 26. I'm 24 and have my bachelor's in nursing. I have been supporting our family financially this past semester and he was completely consumed with working on this project. It was extremely hard on our relationship. Now he will be working pretty much full time on this project but making a 6 figure salary. He still has to go to school full time however because part of the contract included the university backing him. We have a wonderful almost three year old, which leaves me pretty much all the family duties. Now that we will have some extra money I'm wondering what types of things people can hire for to make life a little easier. If anyone could shot me some ideas on how to make day to day life easier using our extra money that would be awesome! I just know I can't handle another semester like this past one and I don't think our relationship could survive it either.

maple2 · December 2013

The things I can think of are:

1) Nanny. Not having to take your child to a care center will save you time shuttling your child back and forth, packing lunches, etc. It can also help with sick days since nannies will usually watch your child even if he/she is too sick for a center.

2) House cleaners. This can save several hours a week depending on the size of your house and how much you currently clean.

3) Eating out/Ordering in. This can save time on cooking and cleaning, though it can also lessen the quality of your diet depending on they type of food and how often its eaten.

Xstatic3333 · December 2013

Congrats on your SO's new opportunity! I'd second getting a nanny-being able to have your child with someone you trust, in your home, would be a huge stress relief. When I nannied I used Sittercity.com to find positions. It's definitely a "parents' market" where you'll have lots of qualified applicants.

Excuse me if you've already done this, but I'd also recommend coming up with a plan now for how to save some of the extra money for yourselves and your LO. In my life, I've found it easy to blow even large sums without a plan going in.

Good luck with the new changes!

hoffse · December 2013

OP, if I were you I would take the long-term approach to this.

I know that 6 figures sounds like a lot. It is. But I can also assure you that it's very possible to spend every penny of it without thinking too much. I had literally $11 in my bank account the day before I started practicing law (cut it a bit close, I admit). And then suddenly I had money. Well you know what? Things happen in life. There is every possibility that I'm going to be stuck between a couple of paychecks while transitioning to an even better job here in a few weeks. If that happens, it will amount to several thousand dollars out of our cash flow. I've had literally 4 days' notice about that. But while it's not ideal, but it's also not a problem if that happens because we have plenty of savings to hold me over until my new job starts.

I think the biggest issue with getting a lot of extra money is you start to spend it and then become used to a certain standard of living. It's hard to ratchet it back if suddenly your pay decreases in a significant way. I would put the lion's share of his paycheck into savings and then be very selective about the other things you decide to use it on. A nanny might make sense, or a cleaning service twice a month. But make sure it's something you are perfectly able to live without if push comes to shove. Who knows what will happen to your boyfriend's paycheck once the app is fully developed?

H and I are in a pretty lucrative field - but we might not want to be a slave to the billable hour our whole lives. And if we leave it, that's likely to result in a massive pay decrease. Right now I still spend about the same as what I spent in law school on a day-to-day basis. My one and only splurge is a nicer apartment. But I haven't really bought anything super new since starting my job a couple years ago - no new car, minimal new clothes (just as they've worn out), I still shop at Walmart and Target, etc. Our extra money goes primarily to travel funds and to pay down debt more aggressively than is needed. Our perspective is that we can live without an annual trip to Europe. That's really not a lifestyle thing because it only happens once a year. And if necessary, we can only make minimum payments on our student loans if our salary suddenly decreases for one reason or another. But once you get used to eating out all the time, it's really really hard to cut back on that because it's more of a lifestyle change. I have to imagine spending money on a nanny that comes often would be similar. Perhaps a babysitter once a week instead?

So think about it hard. Yes, 6 figures is a lot of money but it runs out faster than you might expect.

WedinVolterra · December 2013

I think hoffse has some wise words. I think implementing a budget/spending plan will be important for helping you adjust. People with money often think they don't need a budget, but it provides financial clarity that everyone can benefit from.

anssett · December 2013

I agree with Maple's list, and I definitely agree with Hoffse's warning. I spent a lot of years very poor in grad school and the transitions to grown up salary are tricky. It's so exciting to have the extra wiggle room, and I have chosen to spend some of it on hiring people to simplify my life, but budgets and tracking are key! Make sure you're kicking enough into retirement, savings, etc, before you go hiring tons of help.

wesleycrusher · December 2013

You could also look into a nanny share, if you don't want one full time. And here are some options that I've found helpful, especially not working a 9-5 schedule (which you may not since you're a nurse).

-See if there is a drop-in daycare center near you. Around here (LCOL) it's $7 an hour and you drop off/pick up whenever you need, you don't have a set schedule. Helps when you need a break and want some "me-time"

-Look into a mother's helper, usually a young girl age 11-12, who can come over after school/on weekends and help you by playing with your daughter so you have time to get things done around the house or just have time to yourself.

Erikan73 · December 2013

Love the suggestions of a mother's helper. Great way for you to get things done around home & your daugher is entertained & help a local girl earn some money. Also I think a cleaning service every week or other week will help reduce your stress. In the summer time, if this continues, consider a lawn mowing service. But you guys need to determine if you get these, are these things you will give up if necessar once this job is over?

maple2 · December 2013

While I think all the advise about being smart about how you adjust your spending in response to your increased income is right on, I also think it is totally appropriate for you to spend some of that money on things that will make your life easier. The reality is that you are functioning like a single mother who also works a full time job. While plenty people make that work without outsourcing some household tasks, you are not in a position where you can't afford that help, and having it will make your life and your relationship with both your child and your husband better. That is certainly worth something. Now that we have kids, we have been fine shifting some of our "fun" money away from things like travel (that aren't actually isn't all that fun with kids) to things that make our day to day lives easier.

I can't imagine that a mother's helper or a one night a week sitter is going to meet your needs for full-time child care, so the real comparison here should be the cost of full time day care versus a full time nanny. In our area, a nanny is pretty comparably priced to day care for 2 kids, so it would probably be a big jump in those expenses for you. Whether that would be worth it for you or not is the question you will have to answer, and like other have said should take into account your long term financial goals like retirement savings.

For me personally, the best outsourcing has been having someone clean the house every other week. I don't enjoy cleaning and I find it difficult to get done when I'm home with the kids. DH tries but is honestly terrible at cleaning. I still spend time every day cleaning the kitchen and picking up stuff around the house, but I have at least 3 extra hours every week. The house is not as clean as when I do it myself, but I have had to adjust my standards to fit with the reality of our busy lives.

sccrmgoldie · December 2013

1)premade meals (whole foods, trader joes have great choices that can be managable financially)
2)plan on a nanny for finals/big exam weeks
3)laundry service (there is nothing like waking up every day and just having clothes ready to throw on and meet the madness of a crazy schedule)

Also, discuss your needs, and plan to budget to meet these support needs without blowing through the new income. Congrats, and good luck!

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