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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWGPM do? - - re: MIL
Let me preface this by saying I have a great relationship with my MIL. We've always gotten along and have a definite respect for each other. I love her tons and vice versa.
When I saw her on Thanksgiving, she gave me a hug and said, "Hi Fatty". It took me by surprise. I knew she was joking around, but it still caught me off guard. I figured it was just her messing with me since it's the first I'd seen her since I really started showing. Afterwards, I didn't think anything of it.
This past Saturday when I saw her, she did it again. She said, "Hi Fatty! You're not allowed to call me that, though." So I followed it up by saying, "Then why are you allowed to say it to me?" She didn't respond, instead giving my H a hug and saying hello. I thought me responding that way would have gotten it through to her that if I'm not allowed to say it to her, why can she say it to me. Nope. As we were leaving, she gave me a hug and said, "Bye, Fatty!"
It's not that I think I'm fat. It's not that I think I'm gaining too much weight with this pregnancy. I just find it completely offensive and hurtful that my MIL, who has been through multiple pregnancies thinks it's OK to say that to me. If it were either of DH's sisters, I'd have laughed it off. They're both unmarried without children and that's totally something they'd say to me or each other joking around. I was in such a bad/hurt/sad mood after her saying it to me again on Saturday. DH knew something was wrong, but I just told him I was in a blah mood. How do I broach this with him?
I don't really know how to handle this. How do I tell my MIL that I don't like her calling me that without getting on her bad side? Or...how do I tell my H to bring it up without making it obvious that I bitched about it? I'm throwing around the idea of telling my H about it and asking him to pay attention on Christmas Eve since she'll probably do it again. Then maybe he can say something to her about it since he will have overheard it. What would you do?
When I saw her on Thanksgiving, she gave me a hug and said, "Hi Fatty". It took me by surprise. I knew she was joking around, but it still caught me off guard. I figured it was just her messing with me since it's the first I'd seen her since I really started showing. Afterwards, I didn't think anything of it.
This past Saturday when I saw her, she did it again. She said, "Hi Fatty! You're not allowed to call me that, though." So I followed it up by saying, "Then why are you allowed to say it to me?" She didn't respond, instead giving my H a hug and saying hello. I thought me responding that way would have gotten it through to her that if I'm not allowed to say it to her, why can she say it to me. Nope. As we were leaving, she gave me a hug and said, "Bye, Fatty!"
It's not that I think I'm fat. It's not that I think I'm gaining too much weight with this pregnancy. I just find it completely offensive and hurtful that my MIL, who has been through multiple pregnancies thinks it's OK to say that to me. If it were either of DH's sisters, I'd have laughed it off. They're both unmarried without children and that's totally something they'd say to me or each other joking around. I was in such a bad/hurt/sad mood after her saying it to me again on Saturday. DH knew something was wrong, but I just told him I was in a blah mood. How do I broach this with him?
I don't really know how to handle this. How do I tell my MIL that I don't like her calling me that without getting on her bad side? Or...how do I tell my H to bring it up without making it obvious that I bitched about it? I'm throwing around the idea of telling my H about it and asking him to pay attention on Christmas Eve since she'll probably do it again. Then maybe he can say something to her about it since he will have overheard it. What would you do?
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* After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
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* After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
* TTC #2 March 2015 *
Re: WWGPM do? - - re: MIL
I'm sorry, that really sucks.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP! Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64 Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625
The Rowdy Roberts
I think you should go with your idea of letting him know to listen for it. If this were my family it wouldn't ruin my MIL's day for DH to tell her to knock it off. Since you have a good relationship with her she probably just thinks she's being cute and hearing her kid tell her he doesn't think it's cute would surely squash it.
TTC #1 since July 2012
Cycles 1-9: BFN
Cycle 10: Surprise BFP on 10/17/2013!
EDD: June 25, 2014
Baby Girl born via induction June 26, 2014
My TTC Journey Blog
If your relationship with her is as good as you say you should be able to tell her that you don't like her calling you that without it being a problem. Next time she said it I would probably say something along the lines of Nope not fat just pregnant and I would appreciate it if you stopped calling me that.
I understand wanting to avoid conflict but I think in this situation you have every right to ask her not to do it and she really shouldn't get so upset.
Now if it was my In laws we were talking about and I stood up to them they would probably start crying leave the room and talktto my husband about why do I hate them so much and they were just trying to be friendly. So I can definitely see the wanting to avoid conflict/drama especially on a holiday.
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09
This might be childish of me, but I fully plan on super animating my face when I see her and then looking crushed if she says it again.
My Goodreads Read Shelf
* After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
This is what I would do. If she kept it up after that I would probably say something like "You're making me paranoid and stressed, do you really think I'm fat?!?!" I'm sure she just thinks she's being cute because you are slim but it would bother me too.
BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625
Baby E born: 2/16/2014 at 12:56pm. 5lb 15oz