Family Matters
Malvagia
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Required Christmas Gifts
I'm going to be visiting my brother and sister-in-law's house for Christmas. His wife's brother and wife are staying with them until they can move out. Even though I've never met them, my brother says that I'm obligated to buy gifts for his wife's brother's kids. I wasn't planning on getting them gifts since I've never met them. Is he right?
Re: Required Christmas Gifts
I'd just say "thanks for the opinion" and leave it at that.
Would it be thoughtful, Yes. Required no. That was just rude. Their kids need to learn that just because Susie got a present from her Aunt Janie doesn't mean that you'll get a present because Janie isn't your Aunt. My brother-in-law's parents sometimes come to Christmas at my parents house depending on the holiday vistation schedule of the grandkids (sometimes bil has them christmas eve other years christmas day) so that they can see their grandkids for christmas and give them their presents. I don't buy them gifts & they don't buy me & my husband gifts.
If you want to get them a little something inexpensive because you want to, fine. You should not be expected or required to give anyone anything.
No! Because I don't know them!
He might have said that gifts are required because he feels bad for the family....if they're having to stay with others, they might be in a financial tight spot, and not be able to afford gifts. Or, maybe your brother knows that the other family is already planning on giving you gifts, and he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed by showing up empty handed?
Gifts are never required, and he shouldn't have said that they were. However, if we're visiting someone, my husband always insists that we bring SOMETHING (hostess gift, food, drinks, whatever). And if it is a gift-giving occasion, and we know there will be children present, I think it is a nice gesture to have something small for them too, even when you don't know them. Again - not required - but very thoughtful.
Some ideas that were given above that I think are wonderful:
coloring books - you can go to the dollar store, or walmart and get a couple of coloring books, and a box of crayons for a dollar or two. The bonus is that they can start using it immediately, and it might keep them occupied and quiet :-).
Gingerbread house (or other activity kits) - this could be more of a "family" gift. It takes away some of the awkwardness of trying to pick a gift for children you don't know. Or, it could even be a gift considered for all of the children in the house to do together.....the ones you know, and the ones you don't.
I wouldn't ever spend more than a few dollars on children that I've never met (except when going through organized charities). If they were my children, and a complete stranger gave them gifts (more than a few dollars worth), I would feel a little uncomfortable about it.
Since Christmas has passed, can you update us? What was the outcome of the day?
Find something very inexpensive -- there are plenty of discout stores that sell toys and other items for kids -- we have a place by us where brand name games are $5 each! -- and get them something.
There is a "junky" store that sells clothes for cheap, by us. I found a neat long sleeve graphic tee shirt for a youngster -- it was $2.:)
A comic book will do.:) Anything to keep them busy -- crayons and a coloring book --- it need not cost over $5.