Change of Heart? (TTC-related)

lfk2013 · December 2013

When DH & I got engaged, we talked about starting a family after a few years of marriage (after some pretty tough discussions on what we both wanted). Since we've been married, the topic has come up at least a couple times a week. Usually it's a passing comment about a dream. Lately, DH has been bringing it up more and more often, and even went so far (because we were discussing it one evening) as to make a list of baby names that we both like. He spent a good hour looking up the roots to names and showing me names that he liked. It is incredibly cute and sweet...but I'm confused. I had resigned myself to having to wait until I was in my mid-30's for children, but whenever the topic comes up, it seems like he's thinking it's more of a near-future (i.e. 1-2 years) possibility rather than a more distant future (i.e. 2-3 years or more) possibility. After he found out last week that I could possibly be in remission and off my icky meds this coming May, he started bringing up the baby thing more frequently (which is about when the "obsession" with baby names started). I try very hard not to bring up babies (unless it's in reference to a friend announcing they're KU) or get all googly-eyed over baby apparel because I never know how he'll see it.

I don't know...I guess I'm just looking for words of advice. On how to handle his seeming bigger want for children. I have always wanted to be a mother...but since we made the initial timeline, I put my focus on debt reduction and weightloss first. I guess I feel a little thrown.

Thanks for reading.

Aimothy · December 2013

Just talk to him about it. "Honey, it seems like you are talking babies more and more. Are we still on the same timeline or do we need to re-discuss TTC sooner?"

I don't understand why it's so hard for some women to just talk to their husband about TTC.

brij2006 · December 2013

It's okay to have these discussions, and to change your minds about the timeline. If you are not ready yet, and you want to continue to focus on the debt reduction and weight loss. Then do so. Just be open with him about it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with discussing kids, names, outfits, nursery, etc before TTC.

We bring up and talk about something kid related at least once a day with each other, and we're about 2 years out from TTCing again while we pay off debt. It's one of those things that we know is our end goal with our debt reduction plan.

barefootbluejean204 · December 2013

@lfk2013 Me and DH are opposite of you. I'm a lot more ready than he is (he wants to be very ready financially and wait 3-5 years, I'm thinking more like 1-2 years). What's helped us is to set concrete goals and we set a future date to specifically have a big talk about it (my DH is not one of those people that can just have a casual conversation about it- he likes to really think long and hard about things first.)

BruinsBabe33 · December 2013

What @aimothy said.

Change of Heart? (TTC-related)

Re: Change of Heart? (TTC-related)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards