Privacy issues?

asianprince70 · December 2013

My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years. I have a question about privacy. She logs into my Facebook account to check my postings because she doesn't have her own account and answer people who have written to me so I decided to change my password. She wondered why and I told her it was just uncomfortable that she could log in at any time and check my account. Another she did was give my phone number as her contact number to her supervisor and her co-workers instead of her own so now I get calls or texts from them when they try to reach her. I've never heard of anyone doing that. What's your take on these actions?

hlvonb · December 2013

I personally would not like it but I think it's something you need to sit down with your wife and talk to her about it. I think you need to find out WHY she does this before you can really figure out how to handle it.

GilliC · December 2013

I know multiple couples who share Facebook accounts, so I don't find that odd. I do find it confusing, because I never know who's posting, so I will always have separate accounts. However, if I was already sharing an account and was suddenly denied access, that would raise some serious red flags with me.

Granting access in the first place is a big trust issue and not something I think partners should not assume outright, but revoking access and saying that you don't want her to be able to check it anymore? Honestly that sounds like you suddenly have something to hide. I assume that's not the case and you made the change because it's something that has been building up over time. This is why you should talk about things early and openly before they become bigger issues.

As for giving your contact number to her colleagues, why don't you just ask her why she did it? You'll probably get a more accurate answer than a bunch of people speculating on a message board.

Seriously, these are perfectly normal things to talk about. Stewing over them is counter-productive; you should focus instead on having a candid, constructive discussion about your concerns.

tamararachel2 · December 2013

DH and I don't have Facebook anymore, but I do have a Twitter and an Instagram. We both know each other's passwords to everything ... e-mail, phone, any account, etc... Every couple is different but I do agree that it would raise a red flag if I had access to one account and then DH changed his password. It's not like we snoop through each other's stuff, but it basically shows each other our trust and that if we openly give our passwords, then we don't have anything to hide.

But I don't get why she would give out your number...that's strange. Just ask her straight up. She's your wife and that's a simple enough question that shouldn't start any issues.

cloudymeatballs · December 2013

My H doesn't have a fb. I do, he doesn't really go on mine, but he does have my passwords. He knows all of mine. I know his as well. We all are out own, each couple is different but with you changing your password, that would bother me and I would wonder why. Really communication! That is the only real thing I can say is talk with her about whatever problem it may be. The work thing, that sounds strange to me, BUT she may have a reason for it. Just ask her, and since it bothers you, tell her. Communicating is really a main problem couples can have, I admit, we are one of them. But as time goes on we really try to talk about whatever is going on instead of stewing on them and trying to figure out what the reason is, it is just easier to ask. The more you talk the more you will start to understand things. She is your wife, you should not be shy to ask her why what etc. Good lcuk....

cloudymeatballs · December 2013

My H doesn't have a fb. I do, he doesn't really go on mine, but he does have my passwords. He knows all of mine. I know his as well. We all are out own, each couple is different but with you changing your password, that would bother me and I would wonder why. Really communication! That is the only real thing I can say is talk with her about whatever problem it may be. The work thing, that sounds strange to me, BUT she may have a reason for it. Just ask her, and since it bothers you, tell her. Communicating is really a main problem couples can have, I admit, we are one of them. But as time goes on we really try to talk about whatever is going on instead of stewing on them and trying to figure out what the reason is, it is just easier to ask. The more you talk the more you will start to understand things. She is your wife, you should not be shy to ask her why what etc. Good lcuk....

doeydo · December 2013

I think that you two need to actually talk to each other about all this.

Leftie22 · December 2013

If the facebook account is just yours, I don't know why she would go on it and respond to people who wrote to you - or do they write to her through your account? I feel like there's something missing in that one, so I can't decide what to think. DH and I both have facebook accounts, but don't know each other's passwords. I just trust he's not up to anything. I feel like logging onto anyone else's facebook, email etc. is kind of an invasion of privacy and trust, because why would I need to check my husbands email, if I actually trust him? I'm not going to police my DH. But that's just me. The phone number thing is really weird and makes no sense. I'm surprised you haven't just asked her what's up with that. Tell her you don't want to get contacted by her work unless it's an emergency. That seems logical and fair. But talk it over now, before you get more upset by it.

Privacy issues?

Re: Privacy issues?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards