GP Moms
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

vent *update*

edited January 2014 in GP Moms
First off let me say happy New Years!

Ok so all of our family (both set of parents) have been in town for over a week. Well night before last I was very overwhelmed because I hadn't slept since before I went into labor. My mom offered to stay over and watch the baby between feedings so I could rest. She did great. All baby's needs were met, she woke me every 2 hours to feed like dr said. It was awesome.

Well MIL found our my mom did that and I think she got jealous. She asked DH if she could do the Same last night. Out of me trying to be fair I said fine. Well last night she let my baby go 4 hours without waking me up to feed her. She wore so much perfume that my baby now needs a bath. After requesting that the baby be allowed to sleep in the crib I found MIL lay on with the baby on her chest 2x. I had to wake myself up for feedings and this last time baby had a dirty diaper and was lying wide awake (not fussy just awake) when I went to get her. MIL was asleep. I had to change her and MIL woke up and was like "do you need help?" Because baby girl was screaming. I just said "no I got it" I mean seriously why did she even offer... Her clothes had to be changed in the middle of the night because she threw up on herself which she never does. I think she is allergic to MIL perfume too because it makes me feel sick and cough/have bad congestion. Tell me why she needs perfume on pjs? I am just so mad. I feel like the little sleep I got came from my sweet baby being not taken care of as well as she should have been.

The inlaws are leaving town today and I guess I should be happy for whatever help I get but I feel like I would have been better off just dealing with her ourselves... Plus now my baby stinks to high heavens like nasty perfume and is all congested. Plus she didn't nurse as much as I wanted last night since we are trying to keep her from being jaundice and her dr said eat every 2 hours!

If this made any sense thank you for reading. I'm in a tired induced state and probably made no sense

Rant over....




Update: so this afternoon MIL came over to the house and when my Dh went for a walk she made FIL and SIL leave and she cornered me and attacked me about why do I hate her and I make her feel like I don't want her around. I got hysterical and she kept badgering me. She swears that I hate her and that she just "loves me so much". I tried to use the I'm hormonal and can't help it. She didn't listen and said that since dh and I got married I act like I hate her. I do not act that way at all and have been more than nice to her and put up with a lot of BS for the sake of peace.. I'm so over it all. Dh was mad when he found out because he was already upset with her today. I just can't believe she thought it was appropriate to jump a woman who gave birth 5 days ago.. Ugh.

"Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." 

-Maya Angelou


Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: vent *update*

  • I'm sorry you dealt with that. Id be upset too.

    To put your mind at ease, B had high jaundice numbers. Almost to the point that he had to go to the nicu, but just under. The second night at the hospital, I took B to the nursery to sleep so that I could sleep better. They woke me every four hours and said that was fine, even though he was a small baby, who had lost 8% of his BW. It is really frustrating that your MIL didnt listen to your instructions, though.
    image
    B Born 6.27.13
  • I am sorry. It is so hard being a new mom. I/we ended up seriously limiting visitors.
    "How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
  • I am sorry you had to deal with that.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    TTC #1 since July 2012

    Cycles 1-9: BFN
    Cycle 10: Surprise BFP on 10/17/2013!
    EDD: June 25, 2014
    Baby Girl born via induction June 26, 2014

    My TTC Journey Blog

  • I'm sorry your "help" was less than helpful. :(
    image
  • I'm so sorry.  I would be seriously pissed if my MIL played the guilt trip card and then didn't follow my instructions, and a LONG talk with my DH would be in order as all of our family is local.  Silver lining - it seems like your ILs aren't local, so hopefully this won't be an issue going forwards.
    imageAnniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.


    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm so sorry that she wasn't helpful and didn't follow your instructions.
    Congrats to my TTC buddy Madeline! Cheering for all the strong 3T ladies! 

    TTC since March 2012; DX: PCOS 4/2013 
    BFP 7/6/2013; EDD 3/6/2014 
    Diagnosed with Pre-E: 2/15/201
    Emergency induction: 2/16/2014
    Baby E born: 2/16/2014 at 12:56pm. 5lb 15oz



  • that is really annoying. i'm sorry she didn't do what you told her... you'd think those instructions were pretty simple- wake me up every 2 hours, put baby in crib. ugh.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers  BabyFetus Ticker IAmPregnant Ticker
  • That would annoy the crap out of me. I'm so sorry she guilt tripped her way into overnight "helper" duties and then didn't help.
    imageimage
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since July 2012
    BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
    BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
    B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
    Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
    Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!
    image
    Badge Unicorn
    image
  • sgautschisgautschi member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2014
    Well no more "help" from MIL...That is so annoying. I'd be pissed, to say the least. The perfume is what puts it over the top for me. She had kids, doesn't she know babies are sensitive to everything.

    And don't play the "fair" game, you'll find you always lose. I'm sorry you found that out the hard way.

    ETA Wtf?? I just read your update. Definitely let your H handle this one. That is NOT okay. I just want to slap her for you...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Wow to your update! I think you definitely need a break from her for a while.

    Being displeased with someone does not equal hate. You have every right to be upset with her over her lack of help when she offered and not following your instructions.

    So wrong that she cornered you. I'm sorry.

    It sounds like your DH really needs to have a talk with her. Particularly about the perfume.
    imageimageimage"Image">image"Image">image
    Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
    We Said I Do 09/06/09
    We love our Frankie Dog (5yo pit) and our Paco Kitty Dx Endo 12/09 Lupron 3/10-9/10 BFP 08/11 Bday 3/27/12 Lap Surgery 2/26/13
    image"Birthday"">
  • Holy crap...that woman would NOT be welcome in my house for a LONG time.  You do NOT treat me like that in MY house.
    imageAnniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.


    BabyFetus Ticker
  • Um , NO. I would have gone ape shit all over her. All then stay would have come out. You do NOT corner a person like that. I would have DH talk to her as well.

    imageimageimage
           Me: All Normal DH: .5% Morph
    Cycles 1-14 (Natural) all BFN
                                  Starting IUI#1 procedures Nov '13
                          IUI Cxl'd due to surprise natural BFP 11/1/13
            Calvin born on June 19th, 2014 via emergency c-section at 3lbs7oz
         
  • Oh HELL no!!! What is wrong with that woman?? First off, if you think someone hates you, cornering them and attacking them over it is the last thing that's going to help. Second of all, how the hell would that approach be anywhere NEAR appropriate when you just gave birth!? A woooooorld of WTF that your MIL. I hope DH sets her straight.
    imageimage
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since July 2012
    BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
    BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
    B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
    Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
    Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!
    image
    Badge Unicorn
    image
  • No. Absolutely not. I would have flipped out on her and made it a point to say it was NOT my hormones.  NOT OKAY! Sorry she did that to you and I hope YH can either talk some sense into her or grab her by the shoulders and shake it into her. 
    imageimage
  • So sorry you had to deal with that. It's totally NOT okay! You have every right to be disappointed with your MIL. It's your baby and she didn't do what you had asked her to. I hope YH is able to talk some sense in to her and she apologizes for cornering you like that.


    Anniversary


    .. Living our happily ever after <3


     

     
     
  • The thing is, I never even said anything to her about being disappointed in her "help". I thanked her nicely when she left. This whole explosion came out of nowhere. Trust me, dh was not happy. He is still deciding how exactly to handle it since they went home and they live 6hr away.

    "Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." 

    -Maya Angelou


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • At least they left. Ugh. Geez. What was she thinking? Attacking you about hating her was going to make you like her? 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers  BabyFetus Ticker IAmPregnant Ticker
  • Omg I am so sorry you had to deal with that- and how dare she corner you like that. I hope she gets it together.

    Waiting on my baby girl <3 EDD 2/5/14 

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards