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My Hs Grandpa just passed away...

Just wanted to ask you ladies, what can I do for my H right now? He's a man, so doesn't show his emotions much, especially at times like these. So how can I be there for him without bugging?? Thanks ahead of time... Xo

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Re: My Hs Grandpa just passed away...

  • I'm sorry for your loss.  Only advice I can give is to just be there for him and let him know that you are.  T&P's with you, him and his family as they go through this.
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  • I'm so sorry Cloudy.  Just let him know you're here, and if he needs anything or to chat just to ask.

    TTC since 1/13  DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
    Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
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    Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
    Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340  Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
    Riley Elaine born 2/16/15

    TTC 2.0   6/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 9/15 
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  • brij2006 said:
    I'm so sorry Cloudy.  Just let him know you're here, and if he needs anything or to chat just to ask.
    This.  My H is like yours, so I try to support him without smothering.

    Sorry for your loss.
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  • Ditto @ystaalenburg.  There's really nothing you can do, unfortunately, but as long as he knows you would do something if you could, that's what matters.  Everyone deals with these situations differently... Some people need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, while others would rather be left alone. It's okay to ask him how you can best support him. 

    T&Ps to you, YH, and his family.
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  • Ditto the other ladies. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • I'm so sorry for you loss. The best thing to do is just let your H know that you are there for him. It's always hard to lose a family member....
  • I'm so sorry, Cloudy. My H is like that, too, and when his grandfather passed away, I just made sure he knew I was there for him, with little gestures and touches, and gave him his space when he wanted it.

    T&Ps to you, YH, and YH's family.
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  • Thanks girls. Ya he knows. I went to see his Mom this morning as soon as I heard. I think She appreciated that a lot. I love his family so much and want to do as much as I can to help. And he is always so awesome with me and seems to know how to help me, I just want to do whatever I can for him. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I truly appreciate it. Xoxo

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss, and I agree with PPs. ((Hugs))

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  • I'm sorry for you loss. My H is the same way. This time last year his grandmother passed away. He said it just meant a lot to him that when he wanted to talk, I was there, otherwise I gave him space. 
    DX: 6/2012 PCOS  TTC: 6/2013  BFP: 9/6/2013  Attempt Natural m/c: 10/29/2013 D&C: 2/20/2014
    BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625

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  • I'm so sorry, Cloudy. My H is like that, too, and when his grandfather passed away, I just made sure he knew I was there for him, with little gestures and touches, and gave him his space when he wanted it.

    T&Ps to you, YH, and YH's family.

    This is what I was going to say.  So sorry for your husbands loss cloudy.
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    First date July 31, 1999    Married January 28, 2009 
    TTC#1 July 2010 PCOS dx April 2011 
    DS born: February 21, 2012

    TTC#2 June 2013 MMC Sept 2013 (partial molar), CP 02/2014 DS2 born: December 5, 2014
  • Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I would follow his lead with regards to comforting him. I think just letting him know you are ready to listen whenever he wants to talk is helpful. I agree with Lucky: a hand on the back or a squeeze of the hand can go a long way.

    Ts & Ps to you, DH, and your ILs during this time. It totally sucks. ((hugs))
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
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    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
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  • PPs are wise. I'm sorry for your loss. :(

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  • I'm so sorry for your DH's loss. It sounds like you're doing great already.

    The only other thing I can think of is to offer to do the cooking and cleaning yourself, if you normally share the duties, so he doesn't have to worry about the day-to-day stuff right now?

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    Baby A born 6/17/2015
  • Agree with PP.  Thoughts and prayers!
  • So sorry for your family's loss. I agree with the other girls that my DH also does not show emotions very often. I just try to give space and when he's ready to talk about it, he will and I'll be there to listen. T&Ps Cloudy!

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  • Nothing new to add, but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your family's loss, Cloudy.


    TTC since 3/2012 
    DH - 36; nml swimmers; Me - 36; almost no AMH (last 0.081), low AFC, nml FSH/LH
    Clomid + IUI #1 (6/2013) - BFN; #2 (7/2013) - BFFN
    IVF 1.0 5R/5F/2T (ET 6/11/2014) - no frosties, but BFP 8dp5dt (EDD 3/1/2015) 
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    IVF 2.0 - ER 3/25/2015 - 3R ZERO mature.
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    DE IVF ER - 12/2/2016 (17R/10F = 8 frosties); FET 1.0 (1/27/2017) - BFP 6dp5dt (EDD 10/16/2017)
  • I just try to make sure he doesn't have anything else to stress about. Like dealing with family members for him if I can. Making sure meals are cooked, he doesn't have to worry about chores. And if he wants alone time, that's his call. T's and p's.

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            Calvin born on June 19th, 2014 via emergency c-section at 3lbs7oz
         
  • I'm sorry for your family's loss, cloudy :(  I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts
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  • Thanks again girls. He has been doing much better. We have been keeping busy. :) So its been good keeping his mind off of things. Thank you so much for your T&Ps.. xo

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  • Thanks again girls. He has been doing much better. We have been keeping busy. :) So its been good keeping his mind off of things. Thank you so much for your T&Ps.. xo

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