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WWGPMD? - Shower related

A little background info:

I'm originally from NJ and moved to MA in April. Obviously most of my good friends are still in NJ, but I have a lot of "new" friends here in MA (they're new to me, but most of them have been friends with DH for a while).

My sister already wants to talk shower.  She has been speaking with my SIL (who also lives in MA) and they want to know if I want one shower or two (one in MA and one in NJ). My sister lives in VA, so she'd have to travel either way and would try to come to both if I had two. If I only have one, a lot of people will have to travel no matter where it is.  Plus, I'm afraid it will look gift-grabby to invite people who live three hours away knowing they probably won't come. If it's in NJ my really close friends are more likely to be able to make it, but my friends in MA probably won't because I'm not as close to them (maybe two or three would make the trip)... If it's in MA I know a few of my friends would make the trip from NJ, but some already have kids and probably won't be able to. My MIL and SIL already came to NJ for my bridal shower and I don't want them to think, "She lives in MA now; it should be here. Why should we have to keep going to NJ?" Two separate showers would be easier on my friends, but more difficult on the hosts.

I know if it's important enough people will come no matter where it is. I told my sister to work it out with my SIL, but she really wants to know what I would prefer.  So, what would GPM do???
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Re: WWGPMD? - Shower related

  • edited January 2014
    Is it possible to do two small showers where those from MA go to the one in MA while those in NJ go to one in NJ? This way, no one has to go to both (unless they really wanted to) and everyone will at least see you and shower you with gifts? I don't see this as being gift grabby but allows you to be with those that mean to you most.

    ETA: Each host will then host their own shower, but can coordinate in the same theme if they speak with each other. I know it seems like a lot more work than intended...

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  • The distance isn't quite the same, but here's my take:

    One of my BFFs is having her shower in a couple of weeks. She was born and raised, and now lives again, in Harrisburg. Her DH's family is from a couple of hours away, but I'm sure they'll be driving down for it. Her absolute BFF lives up in NY, and she'll be driving down for it. The other 2 of us from our little 4-some live on opposite ends of PA (Philly and Pittsburgh), and we'll both be going out to it as well. We're just all going to share a hotel room the night after the shower to keep from having to make the long-ish drive twice in 1 day. 

    I'd just have the one shower based on where you live right now. Unless your parents (who still live in NJ, right?) want to throw you a shower themselves, I'd just have the one shower in MA. Although since you're not the one throwing it, it's really up to whomever wants to host it/them. If you're up for 2 showers, then tell whoever wants to throw them for you that that's fine with you. If your sister is already traveling and wants to co-host a shower (and your parents in NJ aren't planning on doing something separate for you), I'd just have her come up to MA and throw it there.
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  • I'd have two showers and make it clear that no family really needs to attend both, but can if they really want to.

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  • I'd think two smaller showers would be more convenient for those invited.  If the co-hosts don't mind splitting up the showers and basically hosting their own, I'd think it'd be easier.

    We did something similar to this for my SIL when she and my bro got married.  Wedding was in Hershey, PA as that is where they live.  Two of the bridesmaids were from that area and hosted their own smaller bridal shower for SIL out there with all of the people that live out there.  Myself and the MOH hosted one here in Pittsburgh for bro and SIL's families who are out here.  Everyone was happy with how it all turned out and SIL had a blast.
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  • Is it possible to do two small showers where those from MA go to the one in MA while those in NJ go to one in NJ? This way, no one has to go to both (unless they really wanted to) and everyone will at least see you and shower you with gifts? I don't see this as being gift grabby but allows you to be with those that mean to you most.

    ETA: Each host will then host their own shower, but can coordinate in the same theme if they speak with each other. I know it seems like a lot more work than intended...
    Yes, this is exactly how it would be if they decided to do two showers. Sorry if I was't specific in my OP. Not everyone would be invited to both; just the one in their respective area. I suspect only my family would want to attend both.  
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  • I would do two showers. it will allow more people to celebrate baby with you and will be less overwhelming!

    I honestly don't think doing two different showers is a big deal.

    I'll have two, one with my Ohio family and one here on the east coast.

  • Thanks, ladies!

    New development:  DH was just talking to his father, who happened to mention MIL is already planning a shower in MA and was going to invite everyone (NJ friends too).  I think it's super sweet of her to do this, but considering she never consulted with my mom or sister, they will now want to host their own.  Problem solved, I guess!  DH is going to talk to his mom and gently explain that it's much appreciated, but it won't be necessary to invite everyone from NJ. In fact, if I'm going to have two showers I definitely don't want anyone but family invited to both! I hope she's not insulted, but really wish she would have at least told my mom and sister about it so they could feel included.
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  • I'm doing this for my BFF. A small one here, and her mom is throwing her a larger one back home where all the people she grew up with live. That's the main one. No one here is planning on going to that one and vice versa. I don't think anyone needs to attend two unless they're super excited and really want to. Even this girls mom isn't coming out here for the smaller one.

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