Philadelphia Nesties
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I can't even believe this is something I need to start thinking about

So, we're most likely having it at one of those self serve frozen yogurt places and not going over board. Just inviting friends and family to join us for ice cream. Has anyone been to a "we survived the 1st year party?" I sort of wanted to have a light hearted theme like this but I've googled and I can't find much. But then again, I suck at google and hunting down things on the interwebz.
So crafty/creative peeps - any ideas for how to incorporate that?
My little nuggets

Re: 1st Birthdays
My little nuggets
On the invites, you could write something like 'in lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to Mended Little Hearts..." or "Instead of gifts, please consider a donation to Mended Little Hearts" and follow up with a quick blurb as to how important they have been over the past year.
It sounds like you are only inviting close friends and family, so I would doubt your guests would be offended, especially since they will have been privy to what the past year has been like.
I can't believe thier first birthday is approaching! WOW and CONGRATS to an amazing year!
I am not crafty, so no help there.
If I was invited, I would not be offended/have ill feelings towards this in any way, shape or form. I would feel like you truly did something from the heart (no pun intended).
I agree with SJU about mentioning on the invite. People can send their checks directly to them, if they prefer. I believe close friends and family will think this is a nice tribute!
Good luck, and let us know how it all turns out.
That would get our heartiest applause
Is your presence at our party
And a donation to a worthy cause
To help us on our way.
A donation to (XYZ)
Would really make our day
Your presence will suffice,
But if you really feel the need
Then a charitable donation would be nice
My little nuggets
It is not possible that the twins are almost 1.