Family Matters
mrswilkes2011
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how do I handle this situation?
Hi! Im new to the nest. I married my husband in 2011 and have been with him for over seven years. We dont have any children. We love kids just not ready for our own. We have a great relationship, rarely ever argue, and work/make decisions as a team on everything. There is a problem that we are trying to figure out now, that i could really use some advice on. Im a little anti-social. Its just the way ive always been. My husband on the other hand is mr social butterfly, has a ton of friends, and is always going out. We never really have an issue with this, but recently he asked me to become a little more involved with his best friend who is expecting his second child soon. I agreed and have really tried to be more involved, which was kind of hard for me but stuck it out. I would call to see how dr apps went, bought them a carseat, and offered to help anyway i could, but heres my issue. I wouldnt get a single call or text about anything, they took the carseat I bought them and had it redone because they didnt like the color, and when the baby was born recently I didnt even get call or message saying she was born. My husband got called at work for every update during the pregnancy and was called the minute she was born. My feelings are now hurt because I feel like after all I did I felt like i at least was worth a txt to let me know she was born. i told my husband about the situation and hes kind of angry about it, but doesnt want to cause an arguement right now because they just had a baby. am I right to feel like I do? I told my husband I just want to put distance between them and me right now and I dont want to put a strain on thier relationship. Any advice on how to approach the situation would be greatly appreciated.
Re: how do I handle this situation?
Your DH tasked YOU with trying to be closer to them. They are probably clueless to this and his BF is used to contacting him. I think both of you are unrealistic (and even unfair) to expect them to suddenly change THEIR outlook on the friendship.
You feel how you feel, but I don't know that it's really fair to be upset w/ them over how they responded. For one, they don't know what your DH pushed YOU to do.
And second, HOLY HELL, what a poor time to get upset w/ them and even CONSIDER talking to them about this. Having a child is truly a life altering event. Do NOT push them on this, at all.
HOnestly- my overall take on this is that you just need to go back to the "status quo". Don't distance yourself over this, but just go back to what you did before.
AND your DH needs to realize that HE can't force relationships. He married you knowing what you're like. I think its unfair to push you to be someone you aren't, AND he can't make them be closer to you if they don't want to be.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
however, I'm not sure that expecting a "thank you" or even just acknowledging that you've been calling them is really realistic.
Honestly, if your DH wants you to "make an effort", I think that effort should be to actually GO w/ him when he sees them. Start there, make more of an effort to talk to them, get to know them. Try to grow the relationship. To a degree, I feel like you kind of leaped over that and went straight to "O.k. - now I'll be friends with them on my own" and - as said - they didn't realize that this was what you were doing.