Am I being a baby?

MeganBM · January 2014

I am a twin, and our birthday Is coming up in march. Recently my sister's (my twin) boyfriend asked for my address and told me to keep it on the dl to send me something because he wants to surprise her. I got an invitation in the mail to a surprise birthday party that he is throwing for her. It is our 30th b day, and I am feeling a little bitter about it, I don't know why, I cant put my finger on it. I would have to take that day off from work, and am debating if I really want to go. Thoughts? Am I being a baby over it? Normally I would not feel this way, I have been to parties her friends have thrown her, but I feel like this is the big 3-0-

not sure what/ how I should be feeling at this point :-/

Sillygirl45 · January 2014

You should definitely go.

I can understand a little jealousy and that's ok. At least you realize it. But, you can't really expect her boyfriend to think to throw you both a surprise party.

When it comes down to it, 30 is just a number. If you want a big bash, you may have to throw one yourself. No shame in that. So, cheer up, be happy your sister has a thoughtful boyfriend, and plan yourself a nice party.

EastCoastBride · January 2014

If you're jealous that someone is throwing her a party but not you- I can understand feeling a bit upset over that. It IS your 30th too.

But - if you didn't share her b-day, would you go? If so, then yes, you should go now.

And you never know, while he told you about it and that it's for "her", it might be for you too. But he may not know how else to get you there. KWIM? But even if it's not for you.... go and put a smile on.

I will say - I think if I were dating a twin and a big b-day were coming up, I'd find a way to acknowledge BOTH of them. I think not to is, well - to your end - a bit harsh. Her BF shouldn't "have" to take it on, but I still think it would be nice for him to do SOMETHING to acknowledge that this is your b-day too. Or to work w/ a good friend of yours, or your parents, or someone to make the party about both of you. Just for the biggie's, like 30, 40, etc.

MeganBM · January 2014

Thanks Girls! I agree with both of you. I am going to suck it up and go.

Ilumine · January 2014

I can sort of understand that you are jealous, but what exactly are you jealous over? Is it because she is getting acknowledgement over the birthday or is it because she has someone in her life who will go above and beyond and you do not?

If it is the first, get over it. You are never going to be equal in life. If you wanted a party you could have thrown yourself one. But you didn't plan one. Do not get irked that she or her boyfriend did.

If it is the second, do something about it. And by that, I do not mean go looking for some guy to give you validation, I mean become happy with yourself.

Tofumonkey · January 2014

I can't tell if you are being a baby or not. All I know is that I have twin girls and the thought of this happening to them for their 30th birthday just broke my heart.

R.Wilsonny · January 2014

I don't have a twin, but I share the same birthday with my mother and I could never imagine not celebrating with her. So I don't think OP is being a baby really. I don't think it's a matter of being jealous either - you grow up sharing your birthday with someone who is such a big part of your life, and then one day, they are celebrating it 'separate' from you, especially a milestone like 30th birthday, it's understandable why you would be upset by that.

Am I being a baby?

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