Family Matters
SmrBrd2012
member
Back story:
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
mom problems...
I'll try to make this short...
My brother lives across the other side of the country. My mother and I live in the same state and see him rarely because flights/hotels are expensive. He has an 18 month old son which has made this distance even more unbearable. Mom and I visited them in October and she has been very sensitive about the fact that she got no "alone" time with her grandson. I got a little bit because she suggested I stay at their place on the couch, but she was always there within an hour of the parents leaving for work. My mom preferred to stay at a B&B because at that point he was not sleeping through the night and had been through an ordeal with she visiting earlier last year (without me).
Fast forward to today:
Sis in law and nephew is coming for a very short visit. She nicely offered to drop nephew off for the afternoon at my mother's. So I was excited for her and I to get some quality with him. Sunday we are invited to an "open house" affair at sis in law's mom's house but it won't allow for much quality time with nephew. Because of this, my mom is asking that I do not come over to her place for a couple of hours so she can have some one on one time with him. I understand why she wants the alone time but I feel that this is incredibly selfish considering the very short time we have to see him. I'm quite saddened by this and told her so. She told me this via text, I responded via text, she has not responded.
WWYD? Let it go? Be happy to at least get like...2 hours of time with him? Am I being dramatic? FWIW, most of my aunts and uncles were absent in my life and I do not want the same thing happening in my generation. Also, FWIW, I am not a mother. I am not a grandmother. I'm not sure if I'm just *missing* something, but my mom is trying to say that grandmother trumps aunt and I don't think there is a trump card. I just want to spend time with my nephew like a normal person. I don't care if I'm alone with him......Sigh.
Re: mom problems...
You know what - let her have her alone time. And then perhaps when she realizes it's not quite all that she thought it would be, she won't push for that the next time you all see them!
But yes, this need to have ALONE time... whether she realizes it or not, the kid isn't going to care. Probably at any point in his young life, he isn't going to care. What kids respond to are people who pay attention to them, who are interested in what they are doing and who - both literally and figuratively - get down and play w/ them on their level.
If your mom does that, it doesn't matter if she's the only one in the room or if there are 10 people there.
Good luck.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It sounds to me that perhaps you are pretty good with kids and kiddo likes you - to the point that grandma feels excluded. Let her have some alone time - this isn't a big deal.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
I'm really not trying to fight over it. She's already won the argument because I let it go. I just think her need to have alone time during this very short window is ridiculous. It's more of HER need and really has nothing to do with the child or what he would get out of it. Family should spend time together. She said she wants to be able to sing to him and "be herself" which she feel she can't do if others are around. Whatever. She's romanticizing the whole thing. He's going to be running around like a madman, not giving her his complete attention...thanks again. I'll just let it go.