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Things my MIL says

Amanda, I'm taking this over... hope you don't mind.

H finally told his mom we were expecting.  Her response:

"I'm really happy for you guys and all, but don't forget about the 2 kids you have down there".

I just can't even grasp her line of thinking right now.  REALLY?!  No, we're just going to abandon them and never see them again.  Thanks for thinking so highly of us!

Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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Re: Things my MIL says

  • because you ignore them now?? WTF!
  • Oh ouch. WTF kind of response was that?!
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  • Ok I'm kind of glad my feelings are being validated and it's not my hormones.

    But seriously, the only thing we will miss will probably be Ryan's bday, because that's a week before my due date.  We will be down for Christmas.  MIL did offer to bring the kids up which is nice, but I don't know in what freaking universe we would just up and forget about them!  She still brings up us missing Lilly's bday in 2012 because Jeff was "away"...

    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • uderin02uderin02 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2014
    That's just crazy! How did he respond? When I was pregnant my MIL made several references to Jeremy becoming a Dad or when he has a child...each time I reminded her he is a Dad and has had a child for 5 1/2 years now! Grant isn't up here much, but he is still his son!
    Met 6.12.09 Engaged 09.29.10 I Do 10.22.11 
    BFP #1 8.19.12 Ectopic 8.29.12
    BFP #2 1.14.13 DS 10.6.13 

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  • uderin02 said:
    That's just crazy! How did he respond? When I was pregnant my MIL made several references to Jeremy becoming a Dad or when he has a child...each time I reminded her he is a Dad and has had a child for 5 1/2 years now! Grant isn't up here much, but he is still his son!

    I'm not sure, I wasn't there.  But he said to me he didn't want to ignore them, or our kids.  I told him we'll find a balance, we always do.  The first thing I thought about when I figured out my due date and Ryan's bday.  But honestly, I'd rather it be Ryan's then Lilly's... he really doesn't care, but Lilly always asks if we will be down for hers... which we will. 

    That would bother me too, but maybe because they aren't around Grant as much, it's not the same to them?  Obviously, it is to you guys.  I hope I worded that right.  I would be the asshat and remind them everytime they said something like that.

    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • Who the hell says that?!
    A: 10.02.03    M: 01.28.11
  • Oh my! Just like a backwards compliment, that's a backwards congratulations! I've read some back posts and it seems like you and your husband maintain a great relationship with the kids despite the fact they are so far away. Don't let her comments get you down (I know it's tough, especially now). You're a great step mother and will be a great Mommy!
    AWE thank you so much!  MIL is the queen of the backhanded compliment.  I didn't even know how she could turn this into one.  But she did.
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • I just...ugh.

    I'm sorrry, @mana8503!  She whomps.
  • mana8503 said:
    uderin02 said:
    That's just crazy! How did he respond? When I was pregnant my MIL made several references to Jeremy becoming a Dad or when he has a child...each time I reminded her he is a Dad and has had a child for 5 1/2 years now! Grant isn't up here much, but he is still his son!

    I'm not sure, I wasn't there.  But he said to me he didn't want to ignore them, or our kids.  I told him we'll find a balance, we always do.  The first thing I thought about when I figured out my due date and Ryan's bday.  But honestly, I'd rather it be Ryan's then Lilly's... he really doesn't care, but Lilly always asks if we will be down for hers... which we will. 

    That would bother me too, but maybe because they aren't around Grant as much, it's not the same to them?  Obviously, it is to you guys.  I hope I worded that right.  I would be the asshat and remind them everytime they said something like that.


    It is hard to balance both sets if kids with the distance, but you do what you have too. We won't see Grant around his Birthday now because our 2 weeks with him this summer will surround Fathers Day. And now we only go every other month instead of every month. It's tough, but you two love those kids and would never let anything change that. As long as you continue to show them love even around the baby that's all that matters.
    Met 6.12.09 Engaged 09.29.10 I Do 10.22.11 
    BFP #1 8.19.12 Ectopic 8.29.12
    BFP #2 1.14.13 DS 10.6.13 

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  • I don't even know what to say besides I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of negativity. That was a horrible thing for her to say. Didn't Jeff recently risk losing his job so you guys could be with the kids?

     

  • klm42404 said:

    I don't even know what to say besides I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of negativity. That was a horrible thing for her to say. Didn't Jeff recently risk losing his job so you guys could be with the kids?

    Oh yea! Good point. He did just risk his job. Anyone who knows you two knows how much you love those kids. I wish you could get custody. I think they would be better up here with you and Jeff.
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  • amcourt09 said:

    klm42404 said:

    I don't even know what to say besides I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of negativity. That was a horrible thing for her to say. Didn't Jeff recently risk losing his job so you guys could be with the kids?

    Oh yea! Good point. He did just risk his job. Anyone who knows you two knows how much you love those kids. I wish you could get custody. I think they would be better up here with you and Jeff.
    Yup Thanksgiving we went down thinking Jeff won't have a job when we got back. Good thing it worked out, but it was definitely stressful.

    Those kids will still be priority - trust me. And I will say something to her if she brings it up when we go down. She thinks she can say whatever she wants - no you can't. If we were ignoring them, then say something, right now it's a non issue... Leave it ALONE.

    I wish we had custody too... Lilly is already begging to live with us.

    @uderin02 - finding the balance is hard, but I'm glad you guys found it! I'm sure we will too. Sorry you won't see grant on his birthday but father's day will be awesome! We had them last father's day and it made Jeff's day. It's been years since he had them on that day.
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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