Combining Finances

rayraex · January 2014

How do you and your husband share finances if your husband makes more money than you? Do you put everything in one account and pay things as they come? How do you decide who can splurge on something a little bit frivolous?

spalko · January 2014

Our finances are combined. Both of our checks are direct deposited into our checking account and then I take care of making sure the monthly bills are paid. Anything expensive that we want to buy, we talk about it first then set an amount that we can afford to spend on it. Sometimes we have the money to cover the cost right then other times we have to save. Either way, we discuss it first before spending any money.

lifeonthehill · January 2014

We have all money go into one account. We pay bills, save, and access personal money from this account. We are both very frugal. Our marriage is 50/50. He makes about 6x more than I make and it has never been an issue. All money is combined and we pay what needs to be paid and we agree on purchases prior to them being made. Of course when we go out individually with friends we know the other will use $20+ but we are aware of what we are doing and try and keep it on the cheap side. It wouldn't be fair for him to say that since he makes more money he gets to go out with friends and I have to stay home since I can't cover my own.

brij2006 · January 2014

We put all of our money into a joint checking account. I've always made more than him up until this year. We each spend the same, and we consult each other if we're going to spend over $100. However, we both know what the budget looks like and let each other know roughly what we're going to spend that month or week on different things with friends or clothing shopping, etc. We are sure to keep the communication open with things coming up.

cbee817 · January 2014

We have separate checking accounts and 1 joint savings account. It allows us to have a little freedom in buying things that we want, thing we want to give to each other, the girls, family, etc. I make almost 2x as much as DH. Our mortgage, utilities, and my credit cards come out of my checking account. DH has day care and his credit cards taken out of his checking account. We automatically transfer $ to our savings account (Me- $500, DH $250) once our paychecks clear. We've lived together for 9 years, have been married for 7.5 years, and have 2 girls.. it's worked for us and our family. We're always on the same page when it comes to our finances and where we want our family to be 1, 2, 5, 10, 20+ years from now regardless of how much each of us make.

SmrBrd2012 · January 2014

We also have a joint account. Everything goes in and out of it. To us, it doesn't matter who makes more money...It's all OUR money not his money and my money. We discuss any big purchases, usually things over $50-$100. We don't nitpick over small things unless there are a lot of small things...for example if H buys coffee every single day....stuff like that. We're more vigilant these days since we're trying to save.

VadersValkyrie · January 2014

We have our own separate checking accounts, a joint account, and a joint savings account. We've just started a new method of spending where we pay all the "regular" bills out of my paycheck and the "debts" out of his. I make more money than he does, and he wants to go back to school, which may mean quitting his job and going full time. I make more money, so we used to do 60/40 split with joint expenses and then did our own thing with the rest. Now we're trying to live off my salary in preparation for his return to school.

hoffse · January 2014

Ours are all joint. We even have trading privileges on each other's investment accounts. Right now H is in law school, and I'm a lawyer... so yeah. I make 95% of the income. I have no issues with him spending it though. It's his money too, as far as I'm concerned.

That said, we're pretty much on the same page in terms of our spending habits. We both see and have access to everything, so there's never a surprise. I would say that we talk about any purchases over $50 that aren't groceries or gas.

As for giving gifts to each other: if we really want to have a purchase be a surprise, we just ask the other not to look at that credit card statement. Or we recognize that when crossing a certain dollar threshold, we would both rather it NOT be a surprise. Because it would really suck if H got me some jewelry I hated or if I bought him that watch he's wanted, but in the wrong color.

I really have a hard time with "my money" vs "your money." At the end of the day, both people are hopefully benefiting from whatever money comes into the household. And even in situations where one person makes way more than the other, usually that lower earner is contributing in other ways. H is in school. And statistically speaking, his earning potential is higher than mine. So it's beneficial to me to support him while he finishes his degree. And if I were a SAHM, I would be contributing by saving the costs of daycare and by giving H the freedom he needs to do his job without having to juggle multiple schedules - his income would have the potential to go up, and that would be a direct result of my efforts as a SAHM.

So yeah - I don't think money is zero sum in a marriage. If I wanted to track expenses to ensure they were "equal" relative to our respective incomes, I would have a roommate. But I don't have a roommate. I have a husband.

Sisugal · January 2014

All money goes into a joint account. From there we transfer equal amounts of personal spending money with no accountability - (spend it as you like or save it as you like or donate it as you like)
Household bills are paid from this account. We transfer savings to several banks for different savings goals/purposes. (I know, sounds like a lot of work, but it really is easier for us)

You might enjoy the book by David Bach - Smart Couples Finish Rich -- great for setting up finances together and understanding each other's emotional relationship with money.

Mom987 · January 2014

All money goes into one account and all bills are paid from there. Everyday spending and savings are linked to that, so we can transfer and organize it each week as we get paid. When we got married, we had almost identical incomes. Now I make more, actually. Our spending is very equal by this point though (it's been 3.5 years), neither of us are crazy with money. We are both very respectful and make smart choices, IMO. That said, the only debt we've had is a car and truck (2008 and 2006) which we paid off in 1-2 years.

CuriousKiddosMama · January 2014

Yeah, I'm a SAHM so his income is our income. I contribute to the household by us not having to pay child care, and whatever else I do on a daily basis. We have a budget at the beginning of the month that we sit down and agree upon. We each have our own fun money that we can do whatever we want with every month. If there is something we feel strongly about getting/buying/saving for, we can work that into the budget.

HoneyBee973 · January 2014

Our finances are combined. There is no my money or his money, it's ours. And like many have already said, we discuss any expensive purchases etc

mana8503 · January 2014

All in one account. We talk and plan out big purchases, budget, debt pay offs and savings.

We each have $100/ mon personal spending built into our budget. No judging, and it rolls over each month to save up for something big and frivolous if we want. Usually it goes towards hanging out with friends (separately), H loves fast food for lunch and I like getting my nails done. H talks about getting a hot rod truck, but he knows he needs to cut back and save.

I make double him, but I would never use that as a reason to spend more. It's all our money.

Apollo11235 · January 2014

We have a joint checking account for most of our bills and expenses, as well as separate checking accounts for fun money ($75/mo each) and a few bills that we each pay individually. The bills I pay are done that way mostly because we don't get the bill until halfway between monthly paychecks, and it's easier to keep the money in an account that rarely gets used. The bills DH pays are done that way because his checking account charges a fee if he doesn't have a $500 minimum direct deposit each month. So we have set amounts direct deposited into each of our individual accounts, and the rest of our paychecks go into the joint checking account and get saved/budgeted from there.

We make about the same amount, but this would still be the plan if we didn't.

Wulfgar · January 2014

We were together for 9 years prior to us getting married. She had the house and utilities already in her name and I have some deposits that are easier to have just come into my checking account. So we do everything basically separate. I do transfer a set amount each month to a joint account that she pulls into her account to help with bills. I am also the one that puts the most towards our various savings accounts for various things. She makes about 2/3rds what I do and our debts are similar amounts. We talk about any major purchase especially if it will be hitting one of our savings accounts. I also fund our grocery and misc. spending cash envelops each month. I do the grocery shopping and most of the cooking.

Combining Finances

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