Relationships
TarponMonoxide
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Those who stay in touch with ex boyfriends/girlfriends on FB, come in...
I never got the fascination in that, particularly if you parted on a very bad note.
Why do you do it? Just curious.
Why do you do it? Just curious.
Re: Those who stay in touch with ex boyfriends/girlfriends on FB, come in...
Buuuuut, I still keep in touch with a few of my exes and one of them I consider my best friend.
Partly it's that I still think that they're good people, even though we weren't right romantically. I can be open and honest with my exes in ways that I don't feel comfortable with my other male friends (like, with one I'll ask about advice when I enter a new relationship: he knows how I am so he can offer better advice and insight).
At the end if the day: they're just friends. I obviously thought they were amazing enough to date, why would I automatically not want that person as a friend because we are not dating.
But that being said, it usually takes me a couple of years to be able to form a friendship with my ex post-breakup.
Not every breakup is some sinister thing - I think it is possible to be friends with an ex, but it really just depends on the people involved and the circumstances. I'm not friends with any of my other exes, but those relationships ended really badly and although those ended a long time ago too, I have absolutely no desire to be in touch with any of them.
If I had parted with some on a less-than-amicable basis I might feel different.
This does not count high school boyfriends, many of which I'm not even sure how to find.
People have different relationships with their exes. If you cared about someone and trying to see if they are happy yet (because you are and a part of you will always care and hopes they are too) then i don't see an issue. If someone does it out of nostalgia or hoping that their exes life sucks then they need a palm to the forehead.
Because we're adults and aren't sitting around angry about relationships that didn't work out 15 years ago?
I don't know. Some I lost touch with. Others I still like and see no reason we can't still be in touch.
The one serious guy I stayed friends with, I admit I shouldn't have. We ended very ugly. We didn't talk for almost a year and then he apologized profusely for being a selfish, heartless ass. Not long after that his father died, and he and I had always gotten along so I went to the funeral and the ex and I hung out afterwards and reconnected as friends. For the longest time things were fine, but then he would lose his temper with me for the silliest things after I got married. Finally when he essentially called me a terrible person because I didn't care for a book he had recommended, I was done. Even so I didn't defriend him on FB until after my dog died and he had said not one word during my dog's illness or after his death. He knew how much that dog meant to me, and loved that dog too, so that hurt, and was the end for me.
And I was friends with one ex at a point in time, we shared the same circle of friends and when he brought his new girlfriend in, she & I became very close. It was a tad awkward at first - she'd ask for advice when they fought and things of the sort - I ended up moving to a new city, so we remain friends on FB (ex and new gf who is now his fiancee) but we don't feel the need to communicate through FB or message/like each other's posts.
My current boyfriend was friends with his ex at the beginning of our relationship and I never felt threatened by her. They broke things off because they felt they were friends rather than lovers, and she was a shoulder to cry on during rough times. They are friends on FB and message each other for birthdays and Christmas and it's fine with me.
So with all of this said - it truly depends on the context, the ex, and the relationship you currently have.
I have a few casual exes who are simply on my friends list, but I don't comment on their statuses unless it's a major thing.