Moving to a new state

Re: Moving to a new state

• hoffse member

  

  January 2014

  I moved to Birmingham by myself with my H still in school in Nashville.  I grew up about 3 hours away and had literally never visited until my job interview (much to my shame - it's actually a great city).  So I knew exactly nobody when I moved here.

  
  

  It's been hard at times, but I've made some good friends through work.  I actually really enjoy it when H is here because we get to go exploring together.  I'm too shy to go to new restaurants and cute shops run by the local ladies by myself - but with H I'm always game to find something new.  It's been almost two years since I moved, and we still haven't discovered everything.  

  
  

  I quickly learned that if I expressed an interest in learning about the area to my co-workers, they would be very happy to give me laundry lists of recommendations for all sorts of things.  People love giving advice, especially about a place they know well.  That actually helped develop my friendship with some of my coworkers- I actually made a point to go visit those places and then I told them about it after the fact.  They really liked hearing that I had taken their advice.

  
  

  No it's not always easy, but if you approach it as a new adventure it can really be wonderful.  And there's a lot to be said to going where the jobs are.  That's why I moved here, and it's been a great fit.

  
  

  Out of curiosity, is one of the states you are considering TN?  Because I know several cities in that state intimately  And I have to give places like Nashville and Chattanooga and huge thumbs up.

  

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• orangehills member

  

  January 2014

  I think there is one job he's applying to in TN! If that becomes an option, I'll hit ya up! Others are Florida, Colorado and Texas, that's where a lot of the jobs are, and I'm coming from California.
  
  Yeah, I know I'll have to look at it as an adventure. It'll be tough though because we own a home we'd have to sell, and have 2 cats and a dog to move wherever we end up. Not to mention giving up my job, which is fine, but I work for the state so I have the cushy benefits package that I'd be giving up, so his job would really have to be worth it to move.
  
  Has anyone used pods? Or is it easier just to have movers?
  

  
  

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• IAmSherlocked member

  

  January 2014

  I've been there, so I can understand your situation. DH and I moved from Colorado to Georgia and when we moved here we knew absolutely nobody. When we first moved down here I was a bit lonely to be honest, but it was such a great opportunity for DH that we really couldn't pass it up. When we first moved down here I was working at home, which I think contributed to why I had a hard time meeting people, but I pushed myself out of my shy little bubble and started taking some gym classes, and just chatting with people that I would meet while out and about. That made a huge difference! Like PP said, people are always willing to give you advice and suggestions on places to check out, and I loved that there was so much to explore around me. I can understand not wanting to leave your family behind--I was the main support for my mother and kid brother, but Skype we still get a chance to talk and "see" eachother a lot.
  
  We ended up using ACF (?) to move most of our belongings. Essentially you box everything up, fill it in the back of a truck, and then they transport it for you. They also use the truck for other deliveries  but keep your things separated--I was a little worried about it at first but it was the cheapest option we found to move up our entire house and transport it all 1500 miles away. If you can, I suggest a yard sale before moving so you have to transport less stuff, which can help cut costs too.
  
  DH drove his car down to GA first, and loaded his car up with a few essentials. After he had found an apartment and I had wrapped things up at my work, I drove down with our cats. Even though they hate being in their carriers they slept most of the way here and the trip wasn't nearly as bad as I would have guessed.
  
  If you end up moving to Colorado or southern Florida I'd be happy to let you know some places you should check out. Colorado is an awesome place to live.
  
  Good luck!
  

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• hoffse member

  

  January 2014

  OP, I definitely recommend TN.  I know a few people who refer to it as "God's country" because it's so beautiful.  Nashville, in particular, really stole my heart.  It was really interesting going to law school there with a bunch of people from all over the country.  Everybody just falls in love with it, and most of my peers tried to find jobs there for after graduation.  It actually makes Nashville a more competitive job market for Vandy graduates than places like NYC and LA.  Nobody wants to leave.

  
  

  You'll also find that the COL is vastly less overall in any of these states than in CA (except possibly FL if you are going coastal).  I visit CA relatively often and always pick up the real estate section of the newspaper whenever I'm there.  Usually, I choke when I see the prices.

  
  

  In terms of logistics...

  
  

   With my move I wasn't going terribly far, so I did two trips in a uhaul plus my mini SUV in a single day to move me from Nashville to Birmingham.  It was about 12 hours in the car, but I got the uhaul back to the place before it closed!  Total cost: $45.  And lots of ibuprofin for my back when it was all over.

  
  

  Keep track of your moving expenses - you may be able to deduct them from your taxes.  I can't remember exactly what the parameters are for that, but you might want to look into it.

  

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• maple2 member

  

  January 2014

  I have moved several times in my adult life to places where I knew no one. We moved to our current location 2.5 years ago for DH's job, and we will probably be here for the long term. Honestly, I don't think I have ever made as good of friends in my new locations as the people I knew in high school, college, and AmeriCorps. It just isn't possible to spend the same quantity and quality of time with people as you age and have to work, take care of a house, raise children, etc. That isn't to say that I haven't made friends, it's just that I don't know them as well as people from other points in my life. I have people that I can hang out with or call in an emergency, but if I really needed emotional support I would probably call a friend from home or college rather than talk to someone here (other than DH, of course). The things I have found most useful for meeting people are joining a sports team, either competitive or rec league; volunteering; finding a good neighborhood to live in and making an effort to get to know neighbors (we usually host 1-2 neighborhood parties a year); having kids because there are so many events for them and they make friends whose parents can become your friends; and building relationships with co-workers. As someone who is probably always going to live an airplane flight (or more) away from family, I have to say that that is the biggest downside. I can maintain relationships over the phone and through Skype, but I can't necessarily be there for people in the way I would like to. For example, my grandmother has had a lot of health issues and been moved through a few living situations as a result. It just isn't realistic for me to go help out even though it has been a huge drain on my mother and her siblings. Now that we have kids, I also regret that they don't get to spend as much time with our extended family as I would like. We do use Skype, but that's just not quite the same as getting to see grandma and grandpa every weekend. The other downside is that virtually all of our vacation time is used to visit family or host them when they come to visit us. I would love to do more exciting travel, but family has to be the priority. The reality is that we don't have much choice about where we live as a result of DH's career choice, so we just have to make the best of it. We are lucky that there are things like Skype and relatively inexpensive air travel, so we take advantage of them and do our best to stay connected to friends and family away while still building new connections here. In terms of cost, I would definitely see if whoever hires DH is willing to pay relocation expenses. That may be something you can negotiate after an offer. DH's employer did, and it was a huge boon. It was the first time in my life I had professional movers, and it was awesome. Especially since we had a 6 week old at the time.

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• smerka member

  

  January 2014

  Moving expenses as well as job search expenses (travel, mailing resumes, etc) can be deductible. I realize the state will be determined by the job, but just because a state doesn't have income tax doesn't mean they don't tax you in other ways. My inlaws recently moved to TN from IL. IL has a 5% income tax on non retirement income and a sales tax of 1% on food. TN has a 5% tax on food and 0% tax on income except some capital gains I think. They have to get their revenue somehow.

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• Wulfgar member

  

  January 2014

  I have moved a lot as an adult.  I was in the Navy for 5 years so I moved to Orlando, Florida; Saratoga Springs, New York for 6 months (over winter); Port Orchard, Washington; back to Northeast Ohio (Wooster, BFE Holmes County, and now Akron); took a detour to Lawton, Oklahoma which the company that hired me out of college paid for the move down but I moved my self back home.
  
  One way to control moving costs is to sell all of your furniture that you can prior to your move then buy furniture where you land.
  
  As for job search expenses, if a company wants to interview your husband bad enough they tend to pick up the interview costs.  When I was trying to move back to the Akron area, I paid for my own travel and hooked it up with my vacation.
  

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• hoffse member

  

  January 2014

  I mean... state sales tax in TN is about 7%, and there is usually a percentage or two tacked on by municipalities.  Food is taxed at 5%.  California?  Sales tax starts also starts around 7.5% and allows municipalities to tack on extra.  But it has an income tax ranging from 1%-12%, which the OP would be saving by moving to a state like TN.  And don't even get me started on property taxes.  Not only are CA property taxes higher than many other states, but the property out there costs vastly more, so it's a double-whammy. 

  
  

  A 3-5% increase in sales tax to offset a 3-5% income tax is an ENORMOUS savings for most people, because you're being taxed only on your in-state consumption, rather than your entire (adjusted gross) income.

  
  

  And if you really don't want to be taxed on groceries while living in TN, you shop at the Costco that's about 1 mile across state lines in GA, where there is no state sales tax on groceries (**BIG perk of living in Chattanooga).

  
  

  And if you don't want to be taxed on other things, you shop online and order from retailers that don't have a physical presence in TN. 
  

  
  

  There are many ways to reduce your tax liability when that liability is based on consumption.  It's a lot harder to reduce that liability when it's based on income. 

  
  

  Honestly, the worst thing about living in TN is they don't sell wine in grocery stores.  But never fear: every grocery store has a liquor store next to it.

  

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• orangehills member

  

  January 2014

  Yeah, I know that there are other taxes in non-income state tax states, but coming from CA, adding those on it's STILL cheaper than living here. At least at the places we are looking at. Thanks everyone for all the advice! It's scary to think of doing this since we never have. I think the scariest thing is knowing I'd have to drive for 3 days with 2 cats and a dog in the car!!
  

  
  

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• IAmSherlocked member

  

  January 2014

  I know it's scary, but just think of it as a great adventure. I was worried about a 2 day drive with our pets too, but honestly it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. I've driven from Seattle to Miami with my mom and our dog for a move (about 3.5 days) and from Denver to Atlanta (about 2 days) with the cats, and they all did pretty well. The cats whined for about an hour but for the most part they just slept. Just make sure you have some water available for the furbabies and when you take make a rest stop let them stretch their legs a little bit. If your pets are anxious you can ask your vet about medication that might help. My vet recommended an herbal supplement (can't remember the name at the moment) that I picked up at Whole Foods just in case, but they ended up not needing it.Good luck, and remember to enjoy yourself!
  
  And because I'm a geek I have to include this pic. Good luck with the possible move!
  
  
  

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