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I Think I Am Irrationally Upset

So do you remember my friend who was "infertile" but really just had a blockage and after being on Clomid for a year from her OB with no monitoring, got a fibroid removed and got KU the next month and was being an attention whore about it?

Well, her and I used to commisserate and talk about CBH things, including gender reveal ideas. Sooo I just went on FB and there were pictures splashed everywhere. Of her at her gender reveal party. With MY reveal idea. And she is having a girl, which just sticks the knife in even deeper.

I'm so upset about this but I'm also probably being irrational. Like, even if she is an attention whore and stole my idea, she is still a nice person. I should just fucking be happy for her. But I can't. And now it makes me feel like an asshole. Tom isn't really getting it for once and doesn't know why I'm not bursting with joy for her and that's making me mad, too. 

Ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Cheering on all of my 3T ladies!  DX with PCOS - 11/2012 DH S/A & HSG - Normal - Too many rounds of Clomid = BFNs - New RE 5/2014 - Repeat Testing - Losing 40lbs before injects/IUI



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Re: I Think I Am Irrationally Upset

  • I'm sorry you're going through this, and without Tom's support. That really sucks that she used your reveal idea, though it sounds like she probably didn't mean any harm by it.

    image

    "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

    TTC #1 August 2014. BFP 9/26! EDD 6/9/15
    Baby A born 6/17/2015
  • I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I would probably be upset if I were in your shoes too. Sorry I don't have better advice. ((Hugs))

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    TTC #1 since July 2012

    Cycles 1-9: BFN
    Cycle 10: Surprise BFP on 10/17/2013!
    EDD: June 25, 2014
    Baby Girl born via induction June 26, 2014

    My TTC Journey Blog

  • I'm sorry, that seriously sucks, and it sucks that Tom doesn't understand. I would be upset, too. Bruins is right, emotions aren't rational, and you're not doing anything wrong by having them. Do something nice for yourself, I hope you feel better soon.

     ~ S & L 8-25-12  ~
  • I'm sorry that she ran with your idea Amanda. It's a difficult place to be in to be happy for them, but yet frustrated for yourself.  Tom is likely feeling similar emotions, but in a different way.  

    TTC since 1/13  DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
    Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
    1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system. 
    Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
    Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340  Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
    Riley Elaine born 2/16/15

    TTC 2.0   6/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 9/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
    BFP 9/16  EDD 6/3/17
    Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
    www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com 
                        Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • I love you ladies. <3

    Cheering on all of my 3T ladies!  DX with PCOS - 11/2012 DH S/A & HSG - Normal - Too many rounds of Clomid = BFNs - New RE 5/2014 - Repeat Testing - Losing 40lbs before injects/IUI



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  • Sorry lady, that really sucks.  I don't think you are being irrational at all. 

    Don't be hard on yourself <3
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    TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad sperm 
    February 2013: IUI #1 = BFN 
    October 2013: We made the decision to stop TTC and live without children.

    Nestie Besties with Xan921 
  • Sorry, Amanda. That really sucks and I think I'd be pretty upset, too. Do something awesome for yourself
    **Signature Warning**

    Dx PCOS August 2012
    Clomid x4 = BFN
    Femara+Follistim IUIs x 6 = 3 BFN, 2 C/P, 1 early miscarriage
    IVF June 2014- 43 R, 34 M, 24 F, 12 blasts frozen and severe OHSS
    FET September 12, 2014!
    Beta #1 12dp5dt- 724
    Beta #2 14dp5dt- 1631
    Beta #3 20dp5dt- 12,813
    EDD 5/31/15 until OB tells me otherwise. Grow babies grow!

    "I might have to wait. I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck. 
    Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life." ~ Michael Buble

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  • Sorry, that was a really shitty thing for her to do and you have every right to be upset. :(
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  • I am sorry.

    I could easily see that being upsetting. DHs aren't always the best at seeing things from the "female perspective". So just because he doesn't get it doesn't mean it is irrational. I often don't "get" the things that upset him.
    "How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
  • Like PPs have said, there is nothing rational about feelings; we can't think ourselves out of one emotion and into another one. You just feel the way your feel. I get that sometimes those feelings aren't explainable. 

    In this case, I'd be pretty upset too. It's like a friend stealing your baby name. Sure, anyone is free to use a certain name or idea, but when you've talked about things like that with someone else and they know it's something you want to use someday, you would hope they'd at least ask if it was okay to use the idea or the name. 

    I'm sorry you're feeling like this. ((hugs))
    imageimage
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TTC since July 2012
    BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
    BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
    B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
    Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
    Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!
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  • I'm sorry she's such an AW and stole your idea. I'd be pissed too.

    imageimageimage
           Me: All Normal DH: .5% Morph
    Cycles 1-14 (Natural) all BFN
                                  Starting IUI#1 procedures Nov '13
                          IUI Cxl'd due to surprise natural BFP 11/1/13
            Calvin born on June 19th, 2014 via emergency c-section at 3lbs7oz
         
  • I'm so sorry. It would sting anyways but for her to use YOUR ideas is like intentionally adding salt to a wound. What a crappy friend. ((Hugs))
    Congrats to my TTC buddy Madeline! Cheering for all the strong 3T ladies! 

    TTC since March 2012; DX: PCOS 4/2013 
    BFP 7/6/2013; EDD 3/6/2014 
    Diagnosed with Pre-E: 2/15/201
    Emergency induction: 2/16/2014
    Baby E born: 2/16/2014 at 12:56pm. 5lb 15oz



  • I'm sorry. :( I'd be seriously pissed too.
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    Anniversary
    08/13: Started TTC  - 07/14: PCOS dx
    BFP 09/18/15 - Baby S 05/27/16
  • I  agree, I'd be pissed too. Stupid AW.
  • I'm sorry that she took your idea. I think that situation would hurt anyone even a little bit.

    imageMags's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
     
    TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
    DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
    ~Started acupuncture in  May 2014~

    ~~
    BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
  • I think being upset is completely rational in this situation. She might be a good friend, but stealing your idea, no matter what it is, is hurtful. I'm sorry that this happened at all.
    image
    TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
    With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
    image
    IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
    BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
    12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

    Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
    Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
    Anniversary 

  • I would be upset, too.  So, I completely understand.  I wish I had something better to say/help, but I hope that you feel better knowing some ladies feel right there with you!
  • I'm so sorry to hear this. people just don't understand (even after dealing with IF) how what they do can really hurt other people. you'd think they would be more sensitive and its frustrating when they don't get it at all.
  • Ugh, I totally get it.  She sounds like my SIL.  She does things that drive me crazy but she is really nice so I end up feeling like an asshole.  How backwards and unexplainable our emotions are...

     

    image
    First date July 31, 1999    Married January 28, 2009 
    TTC#1 July 2010 PCOS dx April 2011 
    DS born: February 21, 2012

    TTC#2 June 2013 MMC Sept 2013 (partial molar), CP 02/2014 DS2 born: December 5, 2014
  • Were you invited to the reveal?

    imageimageimage
           Me: All Normal DH: .5% Morph
    Cycles 1-14 (Natural) all BFN
                                  Starting IUI#1 procedures Nov '13
                          IUI Cxl'd due to surprise natural BFP 11/1/13
            Calvin born on June 19th, 2014 via emergency c-section at 3lbs7oz
         
  • Way lame... At least your heading to NOLA soon though, right?!


    TTC since 3/2012 
    DH - 36; nml swimmers; Me - 36; almost no AMH (last 0.081), low AFC, nml FSH/LH
    Clomid + IUI #1 (6/2013) - BFN; #2 (7/2013) - BFFN
    IVF 1.0 5R/5F/2T (ET 6/11/2014) - no frosties, but BFP 8dp5dt (EDD 3/1/2015) 
    Lost our sweet baby boy, Lincoln Alexander 10/3/2014 (19w)
    IVF 2.0 - ER 3/25/2015 - 3R ZERO mature.
    Ovaries are done...
    DE IVF ER - 12/2/2016 (17R/10F = 8 frosties); FET 1.0 (1/27/2017) - BFP 6dp5dt (EDD 10/16/2017)
  • sgautschisgautschi member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2014
    I'm sorry. :(

    ETA I'm also sorry I'm a day late seeing this. Sometimes this new nest format sucks.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Not irrational.

    I'm sorry. People are dumb.

    <3
    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

  • You are not irrational at all! I would be upset too!

    I talked to my BF about how I wanted to do a reveal cake. She is KU right now and called me and asked if it would be ok if she did one. She didn't want to upset me, but she found one she liked. I told her it would sting a bit, but since she said something it made it better for me. If your friend had at least asked it would be better (still hurt, but better).

    I am so sorry you're are going through this. Lots of hugs
    DX: 6/2012 PCOS  TTC: 6/2013  BFP: 9/6/2013  Attempt Natural m/c: 10/29/2013 D&C: 2/20/2014
    BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Were you invited to the reveal?
    Yes but I didn't go. No way.

    Cheering on all of my 3T ladies!  DX with PCOS - 11/2012 DH S/A & HSG - Normal - Too many rounds of Clomid = BFNs - New RE 5/2014 - Repeat Testing - Losing 40lbs before injects/IUI



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  • Feelings aren't rational. From what you've told us before, she sounds pretty insufferable. FWIW, I'd probably be very hurt, too. Punching pillows and crying. ((hugs))
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
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    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

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