Getting Pregnant
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PR - How to Tell My Struggling Friend
I come to the experts for advice on how to bring up my pregnancy with a friend here at work. Back in November/December, she did her first IUI with the RE she referred me to who ended up only having to do my early monitoring. I haven't asked her if that IUI was a success or not; I wanted to let her share the news whenever she was ready (because 1: I didn't want to pry if it failed, and 2: I didn't want to put her on the spot to tell me too early).
So. I just shot her a message to ask if she was free for lunch today. I'd really like to hear how she's doing with everything, but I want to be as sensitive as possible in sharing my news in the likely case that they're still dealing with IF.
How would you ladies bring it up (or want it brought up to you)?


TTC since July 2012
BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!

Badge Unicorn
Re: PR - How to Tell My Struggling Friend
BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625
I'll tell you what my two closest friends did. One of them had me and DH over to their house for breakfast (it's a tradition) and after we ate, she very sweetly with only a very small smile on her face said "I'm not sure how to say this, but I wanted to let you know that we have some news and are expecting.. Our hearts are excited, but we hurt for you and just wanted you to know that we love you". It was the sweetest thing. She was also my IF buddy IRL so I cried such happy tears and was genuinely so happy for her and I LOVE her son to death. I know she was thrilled with her news, but the fact that she wasn't busting out a HUGE excited smile when they told me helped. That's just me though.
The other friend told me over the phone in the same manner though "not sure how to tell you this, but..." I appreciated that just as much.
I think that you're a smart girl and will figure it out. Just play long with how the conversation goes and play it by ear. I probably wouldn't tell her in a restaurant or around a lot of people though in case she has a hard time with it. I've had a few pregnancies sprung on me in those kind of situations and it was harder because I knew I HAD to keep it together. If you have to go out to eat, maybe tell her before/after while you're by the cars? That way she has an escape if need be? Good luck. I'm sure she'll appreciate you telling her personally, either way!
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
The Rowdy Roberts
Me: 32 | He: 35
TTC since Sept 2011
DX: Unexplained
1st round of clomid: Jan 2013 BFP - M/C 8 weeks
surprise BFP Apr 2013 - M/C 9 weeks
IUI #1 clomid Jul 2013 = BFN
IUI #2 clomid Aug 2013 = BFN
IUI #3 injects Oct 2013 = BFN
IUI #4 injects Dec 2013 = BFN
IVF #1 March 2014 - 12R/12F, one perfect day 5 blast transferred
BFP!! Beta#1 = 431 Beta#2 = 914 Beta#3 = 2207 HB = 166!!
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
TTC#2 4/14
A Parachute in an Oak Tree: A World of Love
BFP 2: 7/7/2014 Beta 7/8: 115, Beta 7/12: 638, Beta 7/16: 3793, Beta 7/21: 21,625
"I DO NOT love that you think so many things revolve around you. I know you're bitter. I get it. But I'm over your feelings." The best person on the internet ever!
Although, I can't say I wasn't super relieved to get the news from one of my best friend's via e-mail rather than the video call she'd been trying to set up with a few of us.
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
Aw, I'm so glad that you both had wonderful news to share!
Like @seahorse01, I prefer to be told via email or text. My best girl friend is pregnant with #2. She knows all about our struggles and found out she was pregnant shortly after my recent DX, so she texted me and said "I've been wanting to tell you something but I didn't want it to hurt you..." I am extremely excited for her because they've had their own struggles but I was glad she told me via text. I like to have a moment to myself, especially recently, to process that kind of news.
Cinnabun and Junebug say, "Go Wildcats!"
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I'm so glad it went well!
Ditto @amandaf6383!
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6