Buying A Home
simsk3887
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Realtor being a PITA (Long - vent)
Hi All! I don't blame you for briefing this and ignoring most of my rant. There is a question at the end if you'd like to skip my story portion. I won't be offended (or even know for that fact).
We have our signed sales agreement in hand and am working on the inspection, etc. Problem is, since the day we said we wanted to put in an offer, our Realtor has completely changed.
She has been with us through parts of this process for about a year. We held off on buying for numerous reasons and she was great at checking in every once in a while and making sure we were on the same page throughout. Each meeting, we would talk to her about where we wanted to be and she always suggested additional areas that we typically didn't like. We just passed it as her trying to sell her properties or her colleagues properties. We searched on our own a lot and asked her to set up a bunch of appointments, about 12 in total.
We fell in love with our home and saw it for a second time on a Sunday. We told her that day that we would be in contact to put in an offer the next day. I emailed her 3 times that evening with various questions, the most important being, when can we meet with you? She responded to every question except that one so I ended up missing work to go to the appointment because it ended up being right at noon. She assured us that everything was well and good and that we probably wouldn't even end up at our top price. Counter offer came back that evening above asking price. We countered right away. Then I got a strange email from her with 2 offers in it, both of which I thought were counters from them. I asked her what the difference was and she responded via email, 'About $3,000'. Thank you. I can do math believe it or not. I spoke with her on the phone a few times over the next couple of days making it known that I knew how to do math and she eventually told me that the 1st offer the night before was their counter and the 2nd was her idea. NONE of which was written in the email. It simply said, Here is what they said, and then had the offers listed. So I was a bit annoyed that she wasn't explaining what she was doing. Regardless, we let it sit for a week and then offered our best and final. Sellers came back accepting except wanting to take the appliances.
We sat on it for the weekend and then asked to meet her the following Monday to measure the appliances, which was just a ploy in a sense as we knew that we were not going to purchase. I told her that day that we wanted to go back and say it was our best and final and we didn't want to purchase appliances. She pretty much told me that I was stupid because the phrase 'best and final' was in the email and she had already taken it about herself to ask them what they wanted for the appliances. She had written an addendum stating that we would buy the appliances for x amount, to think about it, sign it, and get it back to her. She also rolled her eyes at my mom that day, kept talking over my mom and I, and was aggravated that we wanted to measure the rooms to make sure they matched the MLS - which they didn't, just FYI. She also would throw out the phrase, 'but I work for you so I will do whatever you want me to' right after she said anything questionable. I didn't speak to her for the rest of the week. On Thursday, I asked her to meet with us on Friday without any explanation. Our plan was to meet with her, tell her to tell them it was our best and final and ask to see a few other houses. As far as we were concerned, we were done arguing over this house and her antics with it. She called Thursday night and told us that they accepted our offer and would leave the appliances. EXACTLY what we wanted! YAY! Except when we met with her Friday to go over the agreement, she said, 'I could tell you were upset with me but I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear'. Never once a, "I'm sorry if I upset you", or "Hey look, what you wanted worked out, I was wrong". Nothing even remotely apologetic. I'm still angry.
And so the saga continues. Friday evening after the sales agreement came through, she called and told me we needed to pick a closing company right then. Well most of us don't keep a closing company on speed dial so I asked what she suggested. She said no one company is better than another so I said, fine we'll work with company x since you know them. Spoke to our mortgage lady yesterday and she mentioned that her closing company knocks $500 off of the closing costs because she always works with them. I email our Realtor and tell her that we want to save money and please cancel work at company x. She responds and says that they've already started work and we should go with them. They would have received our information Monday morning and since we aren't closing for over 50 days, I can't imagine they rushed to get our work going. I fight for our mortgage lady's company. Mortgage lady ends up emailing Realtor and telling her quite sternly that we are using this company and get over it. Realtor tells me to call x company and have them stop. I'm sorry, I thought you 'worked for me', can't you help me out by facilitating the switch?! NOPE!
We also had an issue setting up our inspections where our Realtor suggested that if we wanted any additional inspections (we have an uncle who is a general contractor and a family friend who is an electrician) that we get them in there before the inspector so the inspector wouldn't be upset. I asked Realtor what her schedule is. She tells me open Wednesday and Thursday. I try to book them for Wednesday and Thursday. I email her and tell her the inspection date and tell her I'm trying to nail the electrician down for Wednesday or Thursday. She responds, 'I'm not available those days'. I have the FREAKING email. I write back with the email. She gets snippy and tells me her schedule is constantly changing. I get that. But I also get that if you tell someone you're available during this day and that day, maybe you should tell them if that goes away. Just a thought!?
So in short...is this normal? Should my Realtor be a PITA at this point or should she be accommodating to us and helpful? I thought they were to help facilitate the process not give me panic attacks and want to throatpunch someone?!
We have our signed sales agreement in hand and am working on the inspection, etc. Problem is, since the day we said we wanted to put in an offer, our Realtor has completely changed.
She has been with us through parts of this process for about a year. We held off on buying for numerous reasons and she was great at checking in every once in a while and making sure we were on the same page throughout. Each meeting, we would talk to her about where we wanted to be and she always suggested additional areas that we typically didn't like. We just passed it as her trying to sell her properties or her colleagues properties. We searched on our own a lot and asked her to set up a bunch of appointments, about 12 in total.
We fell in love with our home and saw it for a second time on a Sunday. We told her that day that we would be in contact to put in an offer the next day. I emailed her 3 times that evening with various questions, the most important being, when can we meet with you? She responded to every question except that one so I ended up missing work to go to the appointment because it ended up being right at noon. She assured us that everything was well and good and that we probably wouldn't even end up at our top price. Counter offer came back that evening above asking price. We countered right away. Then I got a strange email from her with 2 offers in it, both of which I thought were counters from them. I asked her what the difference was and she responded via email, 'About $3,000'. Thank you. I can do math believe it or not. I spoke with her on the phone a few times over the next couple of days making it known that I knew how to do math and she eventually told me that the 1st offer the night before was their counter and the 2nd was her idea. NONE of which was written in the email. It simply said, Here is what they said, and then had the offers listed. So I was a bit annoyed that she wasn't explaining what she was doing. Regardless, we let it sit for a week and then offered our best and final. Sellers came back accepting except wanting to take the appliances.
We sat on it for the weekend and then asked to meet her the following Monday to measure the appliances, which was just a ploy in a sense as we knew that we were not going to purchase. I told her that day that we wanted to go back and say it was our best and final and we didn't want to purchase appliances. She pretty much told me that I was stupid because the phrase 'best and final' was in the email and she had already taken it about herself to ask them what they wanted for the appliances. She had written an addendum stating that we would buy the appliances for x amount, to think about it, sign it, and get it back to her. She also rolled her eyes at my mom that day, kept talking over my mom and I, and was aggravated that we wanted to measure the rooms to make sure they matched the MLS - which they didn't, just FYI. She also would throw out the phrase, 'but I work for you so I will do whatever you want me to' right after she said anything questionable. I didn't speak to her for the rest of the week. On Thursday, I asked her to meet with us on Friday without any explanation. Our plan was to meet with her, tell her to tell them it was our best and final and ask to see a few other houses. As far as we were concerned, we were done arguing over this house and her antics with it. She called Thursday night and told us that they accepted our offer and would leave the appliances. EXACTLY what we wanted! YAY! Except when we met with her Friday to go over the agreement, she said, 'I could tell you were upset with me but I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear'. Never once a, "I'm sorry if I upset you", or "Hey look, what you wanted worked out, I was wrong". Nothing even remotely apologetic. I'm still angry.
And so the saga continues. Friday evening after the sales agreement came through, she called and told me we needed to pick a closing company right then. Well most of us don't keep a closing company on speed dial so I asked what she suggested. She said no one company is better than another so I said, fine we'll work with company x since you know them. Spoke to our mortgage lady yesterday and she mentioned that her closing company knocks $500 off of the closing costs because she always works with them. I email our Realtor and tell her that we want to save money and please cancel work at company x. She responds and says that they've already started work and we should go with them. They would have received our information Monday morning and since we aren't closing for over 50 days, I can't imagine they rushed to get our work going. I fight for our mortgage lady's company. Mortgage lady ends up emailing Realtor and telling her quite sternly that we are using this company and get over it. Realtor tells me to call x company and have them stop. I'm sorry, I thought you 'worked for me', can't you help me out by facilitating the switch?! NOPE!
We also had an issue setting up our inspections where our Realtor suggested that if we wanted any additional inspections (we have an uncle who is a general contractor and a family friend who is an electrician) that we get them in there before the inspector so the inspector wouldn't be upset. I asked Realtor what her schedule is. She tells me open Wednesday and Thursday. I try to book them for Wednesday and Thursday. I email her and tell her the inspection date and tell her I'm trying to nail the electrician down for Wednesday or Thursday. She responds, 'I'm not available those days'. I have the FREAKING email. I write back with the email. She gets snippy and tells me her schedule is constantly changing. I get that. But I also get that if you tell someone you're available during this day and that day, maybe you should tell them if that goes away. Just a thought!?
So in short...is this normal? Should my Realtor be a PITA at this point or should she be accommodating to us and helpful? I thought they were to help facilitate the process not give me panic attacks and want to throatpunch someone?!
Re: Realtor being a PITA (Long - vent)
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It sounds to me like you either have a personality conflict... or she has something stressful happening in her personal life that is creeping into her professional performance. The second scenario isn't an excuse, but it sometimes happens to the best of us! I like to cut people slack when they're acting like that and remember everyone I meet is fighting a battle I know nothing about.
Another thing that might be going on is that she has done this many, many times and knows how things usually go... and you're not falling in line the way most people do... and she was afraid it was going to cost her a sale. I'm not saying you shouldn't lobby for yourself, but you might be annoying her pants off. Just saying.
Personally, I would be annoyed if someone asked me to submit work to one company and then, after I did it, asked me to take it away from them and give it to someone else. I would be annoyed if I were the realtor... and I would be annoyed if I were the title company. Doing things like that isn't going to make her any professional friends... and she's going to be working with them long after you're a distant memory.
I'm going to be perfectly honest, and you probably won't like it, but you sound a smidge hard to deal with yourself... like maybe you're easy to offend and like to be right all the time... and need others to acknowledge your correctness. I see no reason why she needed to apologize to you or say she was wrong about the appliances. She got you what you wanted. Just be happy.