I'm angry

Xan921 · February 2014

I know there are many different emotions that go along with IF/3T and I really think I've been somewhat lucky in that I've been able to stay really positive and hopeful throughout the last almost 2 years but lately I've been so angry about it. I feel like over the last month I've lost hope, I've lost excitement and I've lost my patience with others. I was this close to losing it on someone at work today who knows my struggles and said "Do you think if you were less stressed at work that'd help you get pregnant?" I'm angry at my best girlfriend for having the nerve to say "Wouldn't it be fun if we announced the sex of our baby at your Dh's birthday dinner?" I'm angry that another co-worker of mine who is trying to get pregnant with #2 constantly tells me that she can relate to me yet she asks me how to use OPK's and when she should take a HPT and then shows me pictures of her 4 year old daughter.

I'm just angry. I'm angry that I've never even had the chance to get pregnant, not once. I'm angry that I have a drawer full of fertility shots in my fridge that are just sitting there on hold. I'm angry that my obgyn told me for the longest time that if I lost weight I'd probably get pregnant.

This too shall pass, right? Thanks for listening; I just had to get it off of my chest.

poppies717 · February 2014

Oh, Xan, I am right there with you. I so so SO hear you on this. I am sorry that you have been feeling down lately.
Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I've gone for about 6 months, and we've been working through some of my anger and resentment. I highly recommend therapy.
Big, big, hugs to you dear. I wish I could reach through the screen right now.

carcrashheart · February 2014

people say shitty things. they think they're being helpful when they aren't at all. i still get the "if you weren't so stressed" line. STILL. i got it from my therapist a month ago and simply sat there and shook my head slowly at her. it's ok to be angry. it's understandable.

BruinsBabe33 · February 2014

Be angry if you need to be. It sucks. Hard. I'm sorry you are going through this and I'm sorry you are losing hope. It's ok to have these emotions so don't feel bad about feeling bad.

Aimothy · February 2014

Yes. This too shall pass. But it doesn't mean you have to make yourself not feel this way.

I was very angry for a LONG time. I still have my moments. The others don't get it. I would get mad that I was the one that had to hold my feelings in when the others got be all happy and shit. Find the right people to vent too (We're good for that!) and do not make yourself not feel the anger. It's all part of the journey. I honestly believe that people who are 3T, who don't get angry, aren't really being honest with themselves. This situation we are in is angering.

Xan921 · February 2014

Thank you ladies. I really appreciate the support. I need to learn what you all are saying, that it's ok to be angry and upset, and I need to stop sugar coating the situation in my own head and just take it for what it really is and let myself feel whatever I feel rather than holding it back and letting it build up like this. I really love and appreciate you all so very much.

amandaf6383 · February 2014

This is angering. 3T/IF is enough to drive a person crazy. I am just starting to let myself be angry. I've always been one of those people who puts on a "brave" face and doesn't show the hurt. I still haven't even cried in front of anyone, except Tom. Mostly it's just me by myself. But I'm working on that. Because like Aimothy said, it's part of the journey.

There isn't a thing not entirely maddening about this whole 3T bullshit. Even the term 3T angers me; like, it doesn't specify enough how fucking horrible it is. I get angry when I think that I've become the person who has to navigate around Target's baby section because it makes me want to vomit. Uggggghhhhhh.

Anyway, the point is, I feel you. I know I always say it but you ladies are the one thing that makes this bearable. So come talk to me anytime. We're all here for you and we all want the same thing for each other. I've never been so invested in the outcome of the lives of women I've never even gotten to hug.

sgautschi · February 2014

I'm sorry.

poppies717 · February 2014

I honestly believe that people who are 3T, who don't get angry, aren't really being honest with themselves. This situation we are in is angering.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Xan, this is a safe place to vent! It's totally normal what you are feeling.

ILoveRedVino · February 2014

Normal.

I'm sorry. It sucks. It is such a large range of emotions- anger, sadness, guilt, hope, faith, disappointment.

Love to you, friend.

LooneyLife · February 2014

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

islandmonkey8 · February 2014

Anger should be expected not surprising when it comes to 3T. If you tried for years for something at work and it never happened no matter how hard you tried you would be angry and everyone would say that is okay. But 3T is such a fucking secret and the public seems to think that it's nothing you should be angry or sad or emotional in any way about. It is bullshit. Total and complete bullshit. As all these other wonderful women have said, your feelings are completely normal and should be expected. We are all all here for you. Lots of ((hugs)).

nfp147 · February 2014

I'm sorry you're feeling angry Xan. But, don't beat yourself up for it. It's okay and normal to be angry.

I love you and I'm ALWAYS here for you!

DangerMuffin23 · February 2014

I so sorry Xan. I really am. I never made it to two years but the anger was real and I definitely gave up when we got our diagnosis. I'm sorry you're even in this situation to begin with.

lb1117 · February 2014

I'm sorry, Xan. ((Hugs))

nightmare_of_beauty · February 2014

You have every right to feel the way that you do. Let yourself feel your emotions. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Lots of hugs to you.

PandPMeant2B · February 2014

PPs are wise... Let yourself feel how you feel and go through the emotions however and whenever you need to. Big (((hugs))). Sorry you're going through this.

and props to @amandaf6383 for the Labyrinth gif!

amandaf6383 · February 2014

PandPMeant2B said:

and props to @amandaf6383 for the Labyrinth gif!

Glad you liked it! ;-)

Sewilson33 · February 2014

I'm so sorry Xan! You need to be able to let everything your feeling out and that is why you have us. I think everything you are feeling/thinking is completely normal and you have every right to feel this way.
We are all here for you!

RockABye · February 2014

I'm sorry You've gotten some great advice already. So in short, yes, this shall pass... to some degree. Once you're 3T, I don't know that it ever goes away 100%, even after you get your take home baby. I could be wrong, but I can't see myself suddenly forgetting this struggle.

I have gotten angry many times. I have been bitter many times. I have been sad many times. It's all part of the 3T package, it seems. Stay strong. We're here for you to vent to. It's ok to show your weakness and pain with us. We get it and we're here to support you through it. ((hugs))

amccul20 · February 2014

I would honestly consider talking to a counselor. I got to a point where I was angry, crying, and my relationship with H was quickly being compromised because of all of our emotions. a counselor really really helped.

I'm so so sorry you're at this point.

LuckyAngel07 · February 2014

Oh Xan, I'm so sorry. But like everyone has said, you have every right to feel exactly how you feel, whether that be sad, or defeated, or pissed the hell off. Sometimes, I still feel angry, and I haven't gone through half of what many of these other amazing women have gone through.

((hugs)) You know you're always free to share how you're feeling here. We'll always listen and understand.