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laurenrn379
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3 1/2 months to wedding and we fight almost everyday! Please help!
I am getting married in just a few months and over the past 3 weeks we have been arguing a lot...this is not like us. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar depression so my moods are all over the place so the stress of that I know is causing him stress. Plus he is divorced however still has constant arguments with his ex over child support..etc.. So being we are both stressed the way he talks to me upsets me..he has been snapping at me stating I do not let him finish talking. I really don't realize I am interrupting him...I don't know what to do...we always had a good relationship with usual ups and downs however this latest behavior is really hurting me. The only reason I can say why he snaps is because I am stressed and can be overbearing and he is stressed. Anyone have advice how I can handle this..?
Re: 3 1/2 months to wedding and we fight almost everyday! Please help!
First you have to figure out how to deal with your stress and how to relax. Is your stress normal stress or is it increased by your upcoming wedding. If it's the wedding, figure out what you can do & if there is anyone you can ask for help to help reduce your stress level. I find for myself when I'm stressed out, taking a nice relaxing bath with some lavender bath salts can really help me calm down. It's quiet time with meditation music & then off to bed. Next morning I'm a new person. Now that may not work for you, but that was just to give you an example of something I do that helps me. Make sure you're taking your meds like you are suppose to. Also make sure you are eating on a regular basis and try your best to eat a well balanced meal. Too much junk food can affect you too. You can only control your own emotions. If you feel yourself getting upset with FI, try to calmly tell him, I want to talk to this but I need to put myself into a time out to calm down so we can have a calmer conversation about this.
Now in regards to listening to him, I'm guilty too of cutting my hubby off while he is talking. Not an easy habit to realize you do and then to stop, but try. Based on what you said, I'm guessing his anger isn't at you, but the way he vents makes it seem like he is.
Try to make time where you can sit down and talk and tell him that you want to work on the things that stress you out in hopes of controlling your mood swings more and that you appreciate his support through this. And that you will try to listen more when he needs to vent (even if it means chewing ice or something else so you can't talk...lol) so that he can say what he needs to get off his chest and you can work through the issues together then. Good luck!!
Eff family and eff keeping up appearances --- put this wedding on hold until the both of you get the arguing issue resolved.
Seems like he and the ex wife also have a problem communicating --- you need to be very concerned that the child issue was not taken care of and decided upon a long time ago. What happened there??? (and what happens if and when you have kids and child issues come into the picture?)
I'd go, if I were you and he has to, also.
Nip the arguing in the bud now.
What about the issue with child support and other child issues? it's worrisome that none of this was resolved quite some ago. I don't know whose 'end" the child support issue is but somebody's attorney needs to get moving on this. Let the attorneys handle it; your FI and his xYF shouldn't be hashing it out between themselves.