The 7 Year Marriage

zamboni00 · February 2014

I was listening to NPR the other day (FFC?) and heard the story of Kurt Braunohler and his 13 year relationship.

Basically, they had been dating 13 years when they turned 30 and wondered why they hadn't ever really considered marriage. So they discussed, and decided to follow the lead of the Amish, and institute a 30 day 'Rumspringa'. They would regroup at the end to decide the fate of their relationship.

Even though I could go on for a while about that... what really struck me was what he said after.

As you can imagine, they ended up splitting up. He then went on to explain that if he were to ever get married, he would only want it to be valid for 7 years. At the end of the 7 years, he thinks people should have the opportunity to walk away, or renew their contract.

The host of the program said he felt that part of what made marriage so wonderful was the security of knowing you're in this for life. You build a stronger relationship because you are both your true self, and don't have to worry about being re-elected in 7 years.

On the flip side, Kurt believes that this would make your marriage stronger, and you'd have the security of knowing your partner chose you over and over and over again.

Thoughts?

Apparently this is not new- a quick google search revealed a few articles about countries thinking about actually implementing an expiration date on marriage contracts.

Melissa51212 · February 2014

I think this is ludicrous! That is my thoughts.ha

mancila60 · February 2014

Sounds like crap to me. I mean if you don't want to make the commitment for life then don't make it at all!

zamboni00 · February 2014

H and I agree we are all for the lifetime plan.

i wonder how many people would actually want the 7 year plan if that were an option.

I am thinking- if you go to get your marriage license, you can get the lifetime or the one that is good for 7 years. Do you think anyone would want to do 7 years?

I don't know anyone who went into their marriage thinking that they may need an escape clause?

bpphoto785 · February 2014

This guy obviously wasn't/isn't ready for marriage. If I had a 30 day 'Rumspringa' away from H, the only thing that would change, would be that our place would be cleaner.

I agree with the host that when you're in it for life you have a stronger relationship. It has to be otherwise it won't last. I think that if you don't want to have that person by your side through thick and thin, better or worse, then no, you shouldn't marry them.

court115 · February 2014

bpphoto785 said:

This guy obviously wasn't/isn't ready for marriage. If I had a 30 day 'Rumspringa' away from H, the only thing that would change, would be that our place would be cleaner.

Agreed. I wouldn't last 30 days away from H.

mildlymailyn · February 2014

To be perfectly honest, I would likely forget to renew after 7 years. I only remember to renew the registration on my car because I need it to go to work and even then I am doing it at the last possible second.

I think it is an absolutely ridiculous idea but I am sure some people would jump all over it.

H and I don't need a marriage contract to be committed to each other but I sure like being married to the guy.

toothpastechica · February 2014

Isn't that the point of a pre-nup....in case you decide you want out later?

I don't get the point of getting married if you are ok with the idea of potentially walking away after 7 years..then why not just stay dating or become common-law. I already think too many people see divorce and pre-nups as an easier way out then trying to work on the hard stuff in long term relationships, why would we make it even easier to walk away...why get married in the first place if it requires 0 commitment.

spalko · February 2014

Honestly, I don't know what my opinion is on this. I mean, it doesn't affect my marriage in any way and I try to not have an opinion on what people decide to do behind closed doors. The concept is silly but, to some, the concept of marriage is probably silly too. In this case, I'm guessing the guy wanted some freedom and this was the easiest way for him to get that without being a cheating husband. Like PP mentioned, a marriage license doesn't define our marriage or our relationship with each other.

The 7 Year Marriage

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