Car dilemma - H is driving me nuts.

smbenevides1989 · February 2014

I am getting very frustrated. Our tax return came in yesterday, and I promised DH that we would get him a car. We have been looking for months. The only criteria I have given him is this: Under $18,000 (without tax, title and fees), great gas mileage since he drives a bunch of miles a day, and that the car needs to be under 50,000 miles. The biggest problem we have is that he is a picky man. He looks at a car and pretty much sticks to it.

Yesterday, I found the perfect car online - a 2012 Subaru Imprezza Sedan for less than $17,000, has a great MPG HWY (avg 36), AWD, and has less than 17,000 miles on it. It's right next door to the dealership my brother works at, so he has seen it and knows its a great car. H looked at the printout, said he didn't like it, and tossed it to the side.

I'm kinda at a loss of what to do. I kinda stopped talking to him last night from the frustration. I think he got the picture because he is going to look at it just for me... He likes this car that he found through Carmax - but its almost $20,000 with the same amount of miles/MPG HWY/etc, and is a Imprezza Hatchback. Two big differences - its a standard (which he said he could deal with it - I'm not so sure he can since he had one and somewhat disliked it, and it's located in North Carolina so we would be charged an additional $450 to have it transferred up here.

I'm sorry this got long, I just really needed to vent. How do you convince someone to just take a chance at other cars?

brij2006 · February 2014

My H is very picky with cars too. The car he has now isn't even what he was looking for when we bought it. But I try to let him know the specs on it and that we can go to the dealership and test drive it and answer any questions we may have. So maybe tell him that you would like to go and at least check it out. See if it's anything you like. Maybe he'll get in the Impreza and decide it isn't at all what he wants. The sedan nor the hatchback.

formerlyGDaisy09 · February 2014

Tell him there is no harm in going to drive it. We have a Subaru Outback (LOVE IT) It has saved me MANY times this winter. H really likes the "continually variable" transmission most of the newer (post 2010?) subarus have.

if you're looking for fuel efficiency subarus aren't the best because of the AWD (you can't turn AWD off, so the engine is driving all 4 wheels all the time) depending on where you live and what your winter needs are a FWD car is going to be more fuel efficient.

Basically take him to test drive the one that's at the dealer, he might change his mind.

smbenevides1989 · February 2014

I'm hoping that the test drive will help him out in his decision. He had an Outback before with standard and liked it, not so much the standard part. We live in MA so the AWD would be the best option for us. I have a FWD and I like it, but compared to the AWD he currently drives, I slide a lot more than him.

formerlyGDaisy09 · February 2014

I didn't even have to put snowtires on my outback this year a good set of all seasons has gotten me to and from work in the northern-new england storms with out a problem, the AWD on the subarus is really superior. if he didn't like the Standard transmission (the only think I miss about my old car) he may really like the continuously variable transmission.

smbenevides1989 · February 2014

I'll have to look into that @Gdaisy09. I'm just hoping that he stays within price range.

MrsAshleyH10 · February 2014

I would ask if he would at least go to try out the car you selected, if he doesn't like it you guys are only out the time it took to test drive. I think this would be a good situation to list pros and cons about vehicles so you have something to look at to make the best decision. From what you said it sounds like he might tire easily with the standard transmission and may want something else sooner than later... not very MM..

Take a breath, it takes time to find a car that you both like and meets your criteria . Good Luck!

Xstatic3333 · February 2014

No advice to add except my H was exactly the same way, so I feel your pain!

mrswilkes2011 · February 2014

I acted the same way your husband did and trust me its hard to just say yes to a car because it fits your needs. The car we got had to fit our budget, get good gas milage, etc. When we were car shopping I got so frustrated looking at cars that I didnt like, but fit my needs. Husband finally pulled me to the side and said look, I know these cars are not exactly what you had in mind, but just give them a chance. There's more to a car than color and bodystyle. I ended up with a car I love and actually just paid it off last week with refund. Sometimes we just need someone to pull us aside and have us look at the bigger picture.

KatieCutie05 · February 2014

My Husbands very picky with cars. I'm sure theres a reason why he doesn't like the one you picked. So I'd just talk to him and figure out what he's looking for because obviously you two are looking at two different things. If my husband showed me a car overbudget then theres no way i'd let him consider it. I'd tell him he's dreaming and to keep looking. lol. Theres more then just those 2 vehicles out there. Find out what his parameters are and keep looking.

smbenevides1989 · February 2014

Yea. I'm just going to let him have his fun when we go shopping later. I'm at least grateful he's going to look at the sedan. I'm the one who will be doing the negotiating so I will just tell the dealer what the parameters are and have him show DH the cars that he is looking into.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm sure we'll find something that we both like.

strickland8052 · February 2014

Why didn't he like the one you showed him? He just didn't like the way it looked? Maybe talk to him about what HIS qualifications for a car are, and maybe y'all can then work together to find a car that you both like. If he is still looking at impractical cars, I'd put together a side-by-side monetary comparison of his car against yours. Figure out how much more his would cost initially and each month (car payments, insurance, gas, etc.) then ask him , "Is your car's appearance really worth $*** a month?" Do y'all each get an allowance of "fun money"? Maybe say he is going to have to pay for the difference between the two out of his own fun money allowance.

Sisugal · February 2014

Is he resenting your participation in the purchase of "his" vehicle? If so, I would back off. Show him cars you think would work and then drop it.

hoffse · February 2014

My only suggestion is to stay firm with the budget. A $20K car will not cut it if your budget is $17K, especially if it's from carmax where they do not negotiate.

When we were buying H his car, the only thing I harped on about was safety ratings and budget. Other than that, the choice was his. That's why we ended up with an Accord instead of a Civic (my preference). Ultimately, it was a bit more than I would have spent if it was my car, but he's very happy and I'm happy with the safety and price we got. He didn't go over budget, and I do think we'll get more years out of it than the civic if kids come along.

I guess I'm saying choose your battles.

VadersValkyrie · February 2014

Is your H a tall guy? My H is taller, and I know he wouldn't want my Impreza (2012 hatchback--love it) to be "his" car, although he might be happier in another style of Subaru.

So, yeah, have him take the test drive, but also see if you can nail down what his specific dislikes are about it.

smbenevides1989 · February 2014

Thanks ladies. I think I was just frustrated over the fact he wouldn't consider looking at the car just because he didn't like the way it looked in the picture.

We did go car shopping on Friday. He looked at the car I picked and hated it - wouldn't even sit inside of it. We looked around the parking lot with the dealer as DH xplained what he wanted. I told the dealer the specifics of price/mileage, etc. We couldn't find one on the lot, so he showed us some others through an online selection. I found a 2011 Subaru Legacy that was right in our price range - he didn't like it, but he liked the 2012 Legacy (the "big" difference was the shape of the car) which was $2000 more than the 2011. Our dealer asked us if we wanted to see it, and he agreed to see it just to rule it out. Well, he fell in love with it. It had everything I wanted and the sleek design that he wanted.

I'm so happy - under $18.000, 29 MPG HWY, only 30,000 miles on it. It's also roomy, and has special features that the 2012 didn't have - heated seats, radio dial on the steering wheel, moon roof... I'm just glad that shopping is over!

Car dilemma - H is driving me nuts.

Re: Car dilemma - H is driving me nuts.

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