Budget for weddings, showers, and babies?

hoffse · February 2014

Just curious what people spend. H and I have 4 weddings this year (so far) and 3 babies. I will be throwing a shower for one wedding (BFF) and will likely be invited to a shower for another.

I usually shop off of registries so I can put coupons to good use, but it does add up. We've never had this many so close together. What do you all typically spend?

mana8503 · February 2014

It depends on the relationship. Usually around $50 for showers, $100-150 for weddings. Baby showers I crochet a blanket and maybe some hats, which is cheap but time consuming.

H is from a lower cost of living area and they make me scale back. $50 for a wedding gift is huge, but it makes me feel so cheap. We (I) gave $50 for his niece's bday and his sister called me yelling it was too much. Opps!

SmrBrd2012 · February 2014

For the shower gift, between $25-50, and usually ~$100 for wedding. Never really been to a baby shower but I would imagine no more than $50?

hereonceagain · February 2014

Weddings = $100 (higher for BFF's and close family) showers = $40 ("") Birthdays are killing me. We have approx. 40 a year. I've gotten in the habit of regifting (stratigically) and saving giftcards to use on gifts. I also buy on sale and use coupons.

Xstatic3333 · February 2014

For average friends and family, $100 for weddings and $40 for showers. If I had to throw a shower for my BFF, I'd probably budget $500 of my own money but accept help if offered. I haven't actually done one yet, though. We only buy birthday gifts for our parents, and budget about $30 for each.

hoffse · February 2014

OMG 40 birthdays per year? I think I would have to boycott the bday train.

OK it sounds like we're pretty average too. We usually do about $100 for weddings and $50 for showers and babies.

It's just going to be a lot back to back. Suppose I better start saving...

I haven't done a shower yet either, but I know it will be $$$. She's my best friend though and it's my gift to her. I do think my mom is going to pitch in with that one because we've been friends since we were 5.

sparklesandcream · February 2014

Weddings 100, good friend or not. Sometimes $75 if something off the registry is that much. Baby shower or bridal showers, around 40.....we have been in debt pay off mode and we just can't do more with so many to attend.

I'm throwing a shower and I've budgeted $500. Don't think it's going to cut it though

We also have 3 possible destination weddings next year. I'm going to have to pick one and go alone. We just can't afford it. People will understand or not.....I don't really worry about it. My family comes first.

vlagrl29 · February 2014

For us we spend about $25 on showers and babies and $50 on weddings.

Mom987 · February 2014

Wedding gift $50, showers (baby or wedding) $20-25.

blondie42107 · February 2014

It varies. If we have a ton of showers, weddings, etc in one year or just several in the same season, we probably cut back some. I really try not to be cheap. I love gift shopping and always want the gift to look nice.

I use coupons at places like Babies R Us and Bed Bath and Beyond. Our BB&B stores always except multiple coupons - one per item typically - and will take them even if they are expired.

It's also very rare that we gift money for any event. I prefer giving a gift off of a registry.

JoanE2012 · February 2014

Showers - $50 if it's casual friend or distant relative, $100 if it's close friend or family member. Weddings - anywhere from $200-$400, depending on relationship with and location of the couple.

HoneyBee973 · February 2014

Showers, $50 - $100. Weddings, $300. We live in the NJ/NY area and what we spend is on the low end.

Xstatic3333 · February 2014

I think it's really interesting how regional this stuff tends to be! Although I think MA is a weird hotspot that's all over the map. At least at our actual wedding, financial gifts from couples our age ranged from $50 to $200, and our closeness to the couple wasn't necessarily correlated. We were equallt grateful for each, of course! I do prefer to shop off registries myself, just because I like to see what the couple picked out

hoffse · February 2014

It really is funny how regional it is. On TK people are always talking about how they just want cash. I never give cash. People in my circle apparently don't give much cash either. We got less than $400 cash for our wedding, and we had over 300 guests invited.

But my kitchen is stocked to the nines, and I can set a pretty badass table when I want to! We literally got every piece of china we registered for, all the way down to the coffee pot. I thought it was a lot more fun to get physical gifts because I would have felt obligated to be super responsible if we had received thousands of dollars in cash. We probably would have gone out to one swanky restaurant and then either saved the rest or spent it on debt. Problem is, it's hard to know what people spent on physical gifts (because of sales, gift cards, coupons, etc.) so I'm never really sure if I'm being cheap when I give a gift back.

hiketheworld · February 2014

I'm from the Midwest but live on the east coast and there was a huge regional difference in the price of wedding gifts we received. Our gifts from friends and family in the Midwest were typically an item from our registry, if cash it was around $50 but most people gave an item. Our east coast guests who were our parents' age or older gave around $400 and people our age gave around $100. Almost everyone from the east coast gave cash. We give wedding gifts between $100-$150, an item or two, not cash as i tend to feel uncomfortable with giving cash to peers. For baby and wedding showers I've only been to the showers of some of my closest friends and I gave around $125 worth of items at those.

lifeonthehill · February 2014

We do $25 for birthdays, $50 for babies and showers, and $75 for weddings.We don't really do a ton of them. Both in our early 20's and don't really have a lot of friends who are in the same spot in their lives.

brij2006 · February 2014

We live in a LCOL area, and wedding gifts are about $50, showers $25-30. However, we have a lot of friends from college in Chicago. So we usually give $100 for wedding and $50 for shower for them and our close local friends.

We received anywhere from $20-$200 for our wedding gift cash.

I hosted a baby shower for one of my friends last summer, and spent about $350 on the shower itself and then gave her a $50 gift.

jessica490 · February 2014

In HCOL we spend: Weddings $200-$250 (for our wedding with 56 people, we got about $8000-$9000 in gift money) Bridal showers $50-$100 Baby gifts $30-$50

moonprincessd · February 2014

It really depends, I think we spend $25 for shower gifts and $50 for wedding gifts normally. If we don't know the person well and were invited because it was a friend of a family member (like my SIL was a maid of honor at her friend's wedding, so my husband's family was all invited, so we went), we did a $25 wedding gift.

I don't think there is a rule. It's a gift. People should just be grateful for a gift or for someone to show up! I had people not bring gifts to my wedding, but that's fine, many of them had to travel out of state. It was great just that they could be there! Gifts are nice, but not necessary...

emily1004 · February 2014

Wedding Shower gifts $75-100

Weddings: $180-250.

Bar & Bat Mitzvahs $180. The girls always get a gift from Tiffany & Co.

I've only been only two baby showers, but have been to a lot of baby namings. Then $50-75.

I've only been to one Conformation and she got Tiffany & Co. also.

I've never been to a Christening, but my sorority sister is Catholic and she is having a baby in a few months. I assume we will go and she will be having a baby shower. I don't know what kind of gift is appropriate for a Christening...?

We always send a gift if we get an invitation and if we go or not.

hoffse · February 2014

emily1004 said:

Wedding Shower gifts $75-100
Weddings: $180-250.
Bar & Bat Mitzvahs $180. The girls always get a gift from Tiffany & Co.
I've only been only two baby showers, but have been to a lot of baby namings. Then $50-75.
I've only been to one Conformation and she got Tiffany & Co. also.
I've never been to a Christening, but my sorority sister is Catholic and she is having a baby in a few months. I assume we will go and she will be having a baby shower. I don't know what kind of gift is appropriate for a Christening...?I

***********STUCK IN THE BOX***********************

I've never seen anybody give a Christening (baptism?) gift. Catholics often perform baptisms in the middle of mass, so the entire congregation will see it. Though sometimes they are private too. I think if you were a godparent or grandparent a (religious) gift would be appropriate. But as an observer it's definitely not necessary. I have a few tokens from my baptism, first communion, and confirmation, but they are all religious and were given to me by my godparents or grandparents (baptism candle, gold cross, embossed Bible, etc.).

JoanE2012 · February 2014

hoffse said:

emily1004 said:

Wedding Shower gifts $75-100
Weddings: $180-250.
Bar & Bat Mitzvahs $180. The girls always get a gift from Tiffany & Co.
I've only been only two baby showers, but have been to a lot of baby namings. Then $50-75.
I've only been to one Conformation and she got Tiffany & Co. also.
I've never been to a Christening, but my sorority sister is Catholic and she is having a baby in a few months. I assume we will go and she will be having a baby shower. I don't know what kind of gift is appropriate for a Christening...?I

***********STUCK IN THE BOX***********************

I've never seen anybody give a Christening (baptism?) gift. Catholics often perform baptisms in the middle of mass, so the entire congregation will see it. Though sometimes they are private too. I think if you were a godparent or grandparent a (religious) gift would be appropriate. But as an observer it's definitely not necessary. I have a few tokens from my baptism, first communion, and confirmation, but they are all religious and were given to me by my godparents or grandparents (baptism candle, gold cross, embossed Bible, etc.).

We've only been to a handful of Christenings. We were invited to the church with a luncheon following. We brought a gift as did most people. It's near impossible for me to attend a formal event and not bring a gift of some kind.

hoffse · February 2014

JoanE2012 said:

hoffse said:

emily1004 said:

Wedding Shower gifts $75-100
Weddings: $180-250.
Bar & Bat Mitzvahs $180. The girls always get a gift from Tiffany & Co.
I've only been only two baby showers, but have been to a lot of baby namings. Then $50-75.
I've only been to one Conformation and she got Tiffany & Co. also.
I've never been to a Christening, but my sorority sister is Catholic and she is having a baby in a few months. I assume we will go and she will be having a baby shower. I don't know what kind of gift is appropriate for a Christening...?I

***********STUCK IN THE BOX***********************

I've never seen anybody give a Christening (baptism?) gift. Catholics often perform baptisms in the middle of mass, so the entire congregation will see it. Though sometimes they are private too. I think if you were a godparent or grandparent a (religious) gift would be appropriate. But as an observer it's definitely not necessary. I have a few tokens from my baptism, first communion, and confirmation, but they are all religious and were given to me by my godparents or grandparents (baptism candle, gold cross, embossed Bible, etc.).

We've only been to a handful of Christenings. We were invited to the church with a luncheon following. We brought a gift as did most people. It's near impossible for me to attend a formal event and not bring a gift of some kind.

Huh that must be a regional thing then. I've been to probably a dozen (both public and private) and have never seen this, with the exception of godparents and grandparents - and maybe aunts/uncles. If it varies by region then obviously you need to follow suit and just do what everybody else is doing (not sure how you find out though).

That said, I've never been to one where there were formal invitations or anything. Private ones in my area tend to be attended by family, maybe very close friends, and godparents only. Public ones are done in church during mass. Maybe if there was a big reception or something I would feel compelled to bring a gift... But yeah I don't know what I would give in that case. It would feel strange to me to give something non-religious at a baptism. The whole point is it's a sacrament and a commitment by the parents and godparents to raise the child in the Catholic faith. But it would also feel weird to give the baby something like a cross if I wasn't the godmother.

Huh. That could be a problem....

Wulfgar · February 2014

MW tends to do $100 for wedding gifts if close friends or family.

For baby showers, we haven't been invited to many, My siblings are done having children and my cousins are so scattered that we don't get together as a family often. The last one we went to, we spent roughly $50 to $100, it was MW's BFF that she has known since kindergarten when they went to the same school.

She is the oldest grandchild on her side so we will be having more weddings and baby showers over the years. When we got married, her Aunts and Uncles gave us each about $100 (we eloped prior to her family's big get together at Lake Erie so her family through us a party on Sunday). We are lucky, we have only one wedding that we know of this year.

vlagrl29 · February 2014

hoffse said:

JoanE2012 said:

hoffse said:

emily1004 said:

Wedding Shower gifts $75-100
Weddings: $180-250.
Bar & Bat Mitzvahs $180. The girls always get a gift from Tiffany & Co.
I've only been only two baby showers, but have been to a lot of baby namings. Then $50-75.
I've only been to one Conformation and she got Tiffany & Co. also.
I've never been to a Christening, but my sorority sister is Catholic and she is having a baby in a few months. I assume we will go and she will be having a baby shower. I don't know what kind of gift is appropriate for a Christening...?I

***********STUCK IN THE BOX***********************

I've never seen anybody give a Christening (baptism?) gift. Catholics often perform baptisms in the middle of mass, so the entire congregation will see it. Though sometimes they are private too. I think if you were a godparent or grandparent a (religious) gift would be appropriate. But as an observer it's definitely not necessary. I have a few tokens from my baptism, first communion, and confirmation, but they are all religious and were given to me by my godparents or grandparents (baptism candle, gold cross, embossed Bible, etc.).

We've only been to a handful of Christenings. We were invited to the church with a luncheon following. We brought a gift as did most people. It's near impossible for me to attend a formal event and not bring a gift of some kind.

Huh that must be a regional thing then. I've been to probably a dozen (both public and private) and have never seen this, with the exception of godparents and grandparents - and maybe aunts/uncles. If it varies by region then obviously you need to follow suit and just do what everybody else is doing (not sure how you find out though).

That said, I've never been to one where there were formal invitations or anything. Private ones in my area tend to be attended by family, maybe very close friends, and godparents only. Public ones are done in church during mass. Maybe if there was a big reception or something I would feel compelled to bring a gift... But yeah I don't know what I would give in that case. It would feel strange to me to give something non-religious at a baptism. The whole point is it's a sacrament and a commitment by the parents and godparents to raise the child in the Catholic faith. But it would also feel weird to give the baby something like a cross if I wasn't the godmother.

Huh. That could be a problem....

We sent out invites for DD's because it was private and did NOT ask for gifts, but still got a few .

ashleyjesse1112 · February 2014

Well, I have a feeling I/we are pretty cheap. We spend about $20 on birthdays. Maybe more depending on who it is to us. Probably would do $50 for a wedding and $20-50 for a baby shower. I feel like we get invited to a lot of events, but we are trying to save money. In the summer I feel like there is an event like this AT LEAST every weekend! We would never reach our goals if we were too generous. I am from the Seattle area if you were curious!

HoneyBee973 · February 2014

Christenings we usually give $50. Sometimes I include a small gift.

Erikan73 · February 2014

I think for showers (baby or wedding) $20-25 is good. But depending on the releationship & what your budget it, you can always spend more. For weddings, I think you really have to go based on what you can afford to give. Would it be nice for the new couple to be able to get $100 + from each guest, of course. But if it comes down between paying your own bills and giving larger gift, your bills should come first. If you can, start putting a little money away from each paycheck to help you prepare for all these gift giving occasions. Then based on what you are able to save, that is what you give. Being invited to an event shouldn't be about the gift & how much you are going to give them, but that they want you there to share a special moment in their lives.

orangehills · February 2014

Because of the budget we're on, I just can't spend a lot on people. I give about $50 for weddings, if I'm really close to them, more. At my wedding the average cost of gift was like $25-$50, so I know most people in my area are similar. I don't think anyone should expect to make back a lot of what they spent on their wedding, or get upset at getting gifts that are only around $50 or so.

For showers- usually like $30.

I'll be throwing my first baby shower this year as well, and I imagine it will be pricey. I'm going to try and do as much crafty stuff as I can, and get a friend to make the cake and hopefully split some prices with the co-host. But I don't want to spend more than $200!

We don't give birthday presents to anyone except nieces- and that's like $20 each. We'll take parents out to dinner usually. Haven't been to any Christenings or house warming parties.

ah625 · February 2014

About $75 or so for a wedding gift. I make all baby gifts, not to be cheap (well..sometimes) but because I enjoy doing it and it's fun to give a one of a kind gift.

Budget for weddings, showers, and babies?

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