Family Matters
beezybaby
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
SIL cheating- to tell or not to tell?
My hub's sister is cheating on her husband, along with using meth, and wallowing in alcoholism (which I know is really a difficult thing, an addiction, an illness, she just isn't accepting it is something that needs to change and is almost flaunting it). Recently the drugs and alcohol came to the surface to her husband, but not the cheating. She told only her siblings and parents that. She is thinking of just leaving him, and their 7 yo son, to chase her dreams...BUT my in-laws want to keep my nephew accessible, and so are trying to get her to push for custody.
I feel like my BIL needs to know the truth, one because he deserves that respect from us, his family, and so that he can have all the information when making decisions for his son, when fighting for him. DH is on the same page. MIL has made it very clear that no one is to tell BIL the truth, that it would show we are on his side against SIL, when really it is just, in our minds, doing the right thing, and trying to do the best thing for our nephew. Even though it may mean he is less a part of our life if his dad gets custody, it would be selfish to with hold this information for possible personal gain.
DH and I are already sort of on the outs with the fam, but working hard to repair it, and honestly, MIL and FIL are working hard too, so if we were to go against MIL's wishes, that might ostracize us beyond repair. Part of me is trying not to let that play into my thought process, just to look at the most basic question...
Should we tell BIL about SIL cheating?
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Re: SIL cheating- to tell or not to tell?
I personally feel that someone should tell him, but only because there is a child involved who needs to be immediately removed from this toxic situation.
Her H doesn't care and like I said he is wittingly exposing their son to danger. This is no home for a child to grow up in.
That child needs to be removed from the premises.
Well, this is coming from someone who's been there. I would suggest finding a way to tell him. While it is technically none of your business, he has the right to know. I would want to know, and even though I may not like it, I would still like to know.
Really think about that. Really think about what they says about them as people. They should want what is best for that boy. Not what is best for them. That really angers me. And it does make me think "why do you really even WANT a relationship w/ these people?". This says a lot about their character.
He may say you're lying or she may tell her H that there is no affair and that the person who told him is making up stories.
No sense in telling him.
What stands is that she needs to go because of the drug use.