Invane!

court115 · February 2014

I just read your blog - if you can swing it, definitely take a little bit of time off between now and when the baby comes (which let's be honest here - could be any second now!). I had about a week and a half off between stopping work and having T and it was wonderful. I just laid around and watched TV, went for walks, napped, read, etc. Your life is about to be so crazy (in a good way!) for awhile so it's nice to have that little bit of time to relax first.

PS I can't wait to see pictures of little man when he decides to come out! Your maternity pictures were so beautiful.

mancila60 · February 2014

I agree I had cut my work schedule down to like 3 days a week and the days I went to work I didn't go in until 10. The day I went into labor I had been home all day doing nothing and I had honestly been in labor but just thinking I was over doing it because I had hip/back pain since around 25 weeks. Having some days off was amazing and nice to lay around or wash baby clothes or eat ice cream. I would try to swing it if you can or at least a few days off a week.

lnvane00 · February 2014

Ok I was really thinking about asking you girls about this. I have been pretty stressed and maybe a bit of depressed about this. But I went to my midwife appt yesterday and she wrote me a letter to get out of work immediately. I have spent hundreds of dollars going to the chiroprator and nothing is helping. And I sit here all day at work literally suffering through every minute just to be here. There is something telling me that I just need to spend some quiet time at home and just take in these next couple of weeks (if that) and concentrate about to have this baby.

Work knows that I will not be coming back after my leave. And they are fine with that and have even told me when I am ready to come back to just let them know. My exact position might not be available but my supervisors will make sure I am in their department.

So now I am sitting at my desk trying to get the courage to go to my HR guy and give him the letter. He already told me that when I'm done, I'm done and to just come to him and let him know. But I am so hesitant and I dont know why. I guess because maybe I am feeling guilty that I would literally just be sitting at home doing not much of anything and I feel like since I'm not even 39 weeks yet that I'm just being selfish and shouldn't be asking off already

But then there is the other side of me that is SO done with the bullshit at work. I really wanna get out of here before they fill my position because I do NOT wanna train someone. I have trained so many damn people to do my job and not one of them is going to do it. So its been a huge waste of my time. I want them to just have to figure it out because they have totally taken me for advantage.

Anyway, I am just venting now.

And also me and Chris got in a pretty bad fight last night about money and he is freaking out about having to pay everything on his own and I am so scared that this is going to cause resentment in our marriage and I'm just nervous about how stuff is going to play out. I'm about to cry just thinking about it because I hate fighting with him. I keep telling myself that everything will work out. People that are in way worse situations somehow have kids and they do it. And we are pretty well off. My husband really is a drama queen. But I totally understand him being a bit worried about this change. I mean SO AM I. Lol

But thanks for listening I havent talked to anyone about this and I just really need some reassurance. XOXO

mancila60 · February 2014

First of all take a deep breath! Walk in HR and tell them you are done then go home and soak in a bath. I swear I spent the last weeks being pregnant soaking in a tub it was the only thing that helped I remember taking 2 a day sometimes.

As for your H I will just say it's rough now but it does get better. H and I went threw that because he was going to be taking off work for a few weeks and when he doesn't work he doesn't get paid and we were scared to death. But honestly once LO came and things were happening money was the last thing on our mind. We also had family that helped a lot and just about everytime someone stopped by the brought diapers or formula or whatever we needed (FOOD for us).

Things are stressful now because you have time to think but once that baby comes everything changes and you don't think about that stuff for at least a month you will just be enjoying your baby and getting a "routine" going.

lnvane00 · February 2014

Thank you so much.. now I'm tearing up Lol I needed to hear that

mancila60 · February 2014

By the way just gonna throw this out there if you think the hormones are bad now the first few weeks after baby is here be prepared for the baby blues (different from PPD). The hormones were crazy and I cried all the time. I couldn't believe they let us go home with this little baby and I felt so alone (tons of people were there) and I was a babd mom because I couldn't do much (csection). Prepare your H for that my H was so shocked by it but it goes away it's just the CRAZY hormones after having baby and the overwhelming stress and adjustments everyone is going through.

You have lots of ladies here who can give you advice and talk to about anything. Sometimes it's just nice to vent and talk to other adults! It will get better!!

toothpastechica · February 2014

Aw I am sorry your feeling so conflicted. I am planning on going off at 37 weeks, originally planned on 39 but now I honestly don't know if I can mentally or physically make it to 39 weeks at work without either losing it on someone or just being too much physically. I am finding working a LOT harder then I had expected and even working 2 days in a row means that I don't sleep because my body hurts so bad.

Don't feel guilty for doing what you need to do to take care of yourself - you, baby and Chris will all be better off if you are getting the break you need before diving into a whole new set of challanges and responsibilities.

court115 · February 2014

I was going to say what @mancila60 said. I hate to say it but the hormones only get worse. H and I had some of our worst fights as we were adjusting to being parents. That being said, it gets so much better and it's so worth it. We're stronger now than ever. The money stuff is stressful. You're going from two people with two incomes to three people with one income. It's going to be hard but it's going to be totally worth it. You're right - people in way worse situations are doing this, you'll figure it out too. It has its way of working itself out. Just do what is best for you, Chris, and the baby.

And get out of work already! You aren't be selfish! You won't just be "sitting at home". You're making a HUMAN. That's hard work.

lnvane00 · March 2014

I love you girls

I have officially been out of work all week. I asked my midwife to write me out of work at our appt last Thursday and then gave it to HR on Friday and they let my boss know that it was my last day. My supervisor who I have been great friends with for four years wasn't there that day so I didnt get to tell her but my boss texted her and told her and I haven't heard one word from her.. so I can feel the tension and I'm not even there anymore. I had one of the girls from work texting me telling me how screwed up everything has been all week and I was only gone for three days then! I knew that was gonna happen. So I think my supervisor/friend is pissed off. Idk. I dont even know what to say to her.
I need to go back in to work and drop off my FMLA paperwork and I planned on seeing her then but I already feel awkward about seeing her. So that sucks.

But other then that I have just been lazy at home and I can tell that being home is helping. I of course still have bad back and hip pain but I can already tell a little bit of a difference then sitting at work all day in agony.

leopardgurl831 · March 2014

@invane00 I just read your blog. I'll tell you we were also on the fence on circumcision. I told DH if he decided for it then he would have to watch. Well he couldn't do it, which I was happy for. He ask our pedi about it on the first apt and then dropped it completely.

I also agree with everyone about the disagreements after LO is home. The hardest part for us was when I was on leave, but wanted to get out of the house by myself and DH didn't want to watch him. He also expected a spotless house since I was home and thought I did nothing all day.

I'm excited to hear you are trying for a med free birth! I tried really hard for one, but it didn't work out for me. I really hope you get the birth of your dreams!

lnvane00 · March 2014

@leopardgurl831

Me and my husband are completely on the fence as of right now on circumcision. I made him watch a couple videos on YouTube of the procedure and I couldn't even be in the same room because the little baby on the video was screaming bloody murder.
Since I am having my son in a birthing center I have had to actually research and call around for pediatricians and ask more in depth questions about circumcision which has made me research and read a ton of info online which has opened my eyes to the pros (which there are very few of) and the cons. I feel that when you're in the hospital you just hand your baby over to the pedi and its so routine to have boys circumcised, so many moms are not really 'forced' to educate themselves on it.. if that makes sense. Hard for me to write it out..

And I feel very confident in my birthing team and in myself to have an amazing natural birth. Being in a birth center I dont have the pressure of interventions and that is how I want it. Im so glad I have the option to have my baby outside of the hospital. I was seeing an OB for the first 13 weeks of my pregnancy and I hated it. I absolutely love my midwives and the care and experience is completely night and day!
Thanks for reading my blog! That is exciting!

leopardgurl831 · March 2014

If you have time watch the Pen and Teller video, or have him. I agree there are pros and cons and I just thought the pros didn't justify it for me.

We don't have a birthing center, so I educated myself for a hospital birth. We also don't have any midwives that deliver in the hospital. My problem that lead to interventions was LM got stuck at -1 station and was sideways. I had no progress for 10 hours. They tried an internal version but didn't couldn't get him turned enough. I tried every position possible to turn him. So at 31 hours after my water broke we decided I was going to have to have a C-section.

Also I'm sure you are educated, but just so you know. We did the newborn hearing screening and PKU. We did the vitamin K as an oral and did not get the Hep B vaccine. We did not do the eye ointment and he didn't have his first bath till I think 5 days old at home. I'm not sure if they do any of those at a birthing center.

toothpastechica · March 2014

@Invane00 Are you having a baby yet???? Sorry saw your FB this morning and had to ask. Do you have an induction date set?

lnvane00 · March 2014

No baby

I will not do induction unless I'm ridiculously over by like 43 weeks and not showing signs of progression, then my midwives would send me in to see an actual doctor for tests and what not. I had a midwife appt today and my first cervical check since I am 40+1.
Im sure you dont wanna know the details of the check

but they keep reminding me that FTMs go about 8 days over. Which I have known but I did get my hopes up that he would come yesterday and I shouldn't have done that

so I'm hoping he wants to come on this full moon we have on Sunday

but pretty much its just more waiting now.
And lord, I am tired of all the 'well you should do this and this crazy induction recommendations' Lol
I am not gonna go jump on a trampoline or wax my car or ride a damn elevator. Lol ugh
and my damn mother. If I miss her call she thinks I'm in labor. Im like seriously! ?! You really think I'm just gonna be in labor and not tell you jeez us. Chill pill

lnvane00 · March 2014

Oh! But thanks for asking

i dont mind you girls asking. Just the same annoying people with the same annoying questions is what gets old lol
I'm glad I have you girls

court115 · March 2014

lnvane00 said:

and my damn mother. If I miss her call she thinks I'm in labor. Im like seriously! ?! You really think I'm just gonna be in labor and not tell you jeez us. Chill pill

This cracks me up. My mom was the same way. As if you would have the baby and not tell anyone....

toothpastechica · March 2014

Best one I have heard yet "you guys have an SUV....why don't you go off-wheeling up the valley?" How about...that's the opposite direction of the hospital and speed bumps make me uncomfortable these days, so I am going to go with NO on that one....

We are not telling my MIL until baby is here...and she's going to be pissed she wasn't told as soon as we got there... but they live an hour from the hospital and I REALLY don't want them coming down and waiting around for hours while I am in labour...they don't really have filters and will not be good support, and FIL will complain about having to be "in the city" or "in a hospital" the whole time so its just a lot less stressfull for us if they don't come until baby is here.

Invane!

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