Family Matters
pmontgomery87
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Boyfriend's mother is being REALLY unsupportive
Ok so long story short my boyfriend recently accepted what is pretty much the job he has been searching for. We will have to relocate about 4 hours away from my parents and his mother (which we have done before). We will be moving to a place that he and I would rather live anyway, and this opportunity for him will bring so many great things! The issue now is that when he told his mother instead of being happy for him and encouraging, she started pouting and got on the phone with another relative talking negatively about it where he could hear her. We are also very excited because we were able to find the perfect house to rent, and everytime we start to talk about it she makes faces and sighs and just pitches a fit like a 5 year old. She lives with us, so it is not like we can get away from it. She will be staying where we live right now when we move. My question is what can I do to keep her behavior from bringing him down? This is a great thing and he should be able to be happy about it and enjoy it, not have to live with her acting like a child. My parents are sad that we are moving but realize that it is what he and I have been wanting for a while now, and that it is what's best for us.
Re: Boyfriend's mother is being REALLY unsupportive
And how WILL it affect her? Why does she live with you?
Maybe if you all think about her in this and what you can do to help the transition, maybe she won't be quite so angry. She's probably feeling a little lost in the shuffle here. A little empathy could go a long way.
Go ahead and move. She'll get over it.
We made the decision to go and we were excited about it, realizing that his parents would get over it (they did) but that it would also be hard on them. Like the other posters said, a little empathy will go a long way here. Talk to your boyfriend about it positively (now is not the time to rag on his mom to him) and all of the positive things you guys are looking forward to about the move. Set up a regular Skype time each week for you guys to chat with his mom and maybe try asking her opinion on things (that you may not necessarily need an opinion on) to make her feel involved and still needed in that motherly sense.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
I just wanted to thank everyone so much for the advice on this! Yesterday when I got home from work it was a completely different attitude. She had gone out looking for packing materials for us and really seemed on board. I think that she will be fine (like I said we have moved away from her before), and finally realized that we are moving to a place that she visits frequently anyway so it isnt like we will never see her.
Thanks for the advice!