CBH-- 3T-ers come in

ILoveRedVino · March 2014

So you know how it's annoying and hurtful when 3T grads post every bump/nursery/baby picture, etc on Facebook? Like they've forgotten how it once felt?

Is it equally shitty when someone posts pictures of their adopted child after a very obvious 3T/loss journey? Do you have (or would you, since this isn't common) the same bitter/pissed/annoyed feelings?

I can't wait for the day that I can post "it's my effing turn" with a super cute picture of my new family. Or you know,'something like that. And for those I'm FB friends with, you know I don't post much as it is. I wouldn't magically change that with a baby. I just can't wait for the day that I can finally show the world that we got a happy ending too.

Thoughts?

LooneyLife · March 2014

I don't think it's annoying or hurtful for 3T grads to post baby stuff. They more than anyone should be able to be proud of their pregnancy/child/family. So same goes for adoption.

BruinsBabe33 · March 2014

I think most people feel like things on Facebook should be done in moderation. I try to be as respectful as possible on my Facebook page, and sometimes, I may over do it, but I would want someone to tell me that I do. I know that I am former 3T, but that's my 2 cents on the issue and I've always felt that way.

ILoveRedVino · March 2014

Hm, maybe it's just me then. I think anything more than a pregnancy announcement, gender announcement and arrival announcement is annoying.

ILoveRedVino · March 2014

You don't overdo it, Bruins. You need to post more of him.

Aimothy · March 2014

A baby is a baby is a baby. It doesn't discriminate for me when people are ridiculous in posting things on FB. But you know what? That's why there's a hide feature. If I don't like what is showing up on my feed, I hide them.

Baby pictures don't bother me as much as the whiny, annoying status updates about how much it hurts, it sucks or some other mommy problem. Because I know that just a few short months ago...they would have felt much differently.

Flamingo86 · March 2014

I think even posting tons of pics of an adopted child can be annoying. I really don't want to be an AW about my adoption b/c I feel that could be equally annoying. You never know who could be struggling in the adoption process, just as people are struggling with 3T.

However, when the time comes I will enjoy posting a couple announcements. Moderation is key.

Xan921 · March 2014

I agree with @looneylife. I don't mind the posts or pictures as long as it isn't over kill, and that goes for anyone, previously 3T or not. I have hid numerous people simply because I don't feel like seeing 1,000 pictures of their kid every month; it has nothing to do with how they got their kid.

And to go with what @aimothy said, it's the complaining and 'woe is me' posts that get under my skin, because so many of us would give everything we have not to get enough sleep or to have our backs hurt because our pregnant bellies are so big. Those are the posts, especially if they come from someone previously 3T, that will make me cringe.

amandaf6383 · March 2014

Xan921 said:

I agree with @looneylife. I don't mind the posts or pictures as long as it isn't over kill, and that goes for anyone, previously 3T or not. I have hid numerous people simply because I don't feel like seeing 1,000 pictures of their kid every month; it has nothing to do with how they got their kid.

And to go with what @aimothy said, it's the complaining and 'woe is me' posts that get under my skin, because so many of us would give everything we have not to get enough sleep or to have our backs hurt because our pregnant bellies are so big. Those are the posts, especially if they come from someone previously 3T, that will make me cringe.

I completely and unsurprisingly agree with @Xan921. I don't mind FB posts on occasion and I enjoy seeing pictures of my 3T friends babies and see how they are doing - I hope one day when it's my turn they will smile, too. That being said, too much is too much not matter how you got your baby.

And just like Xan and Aim said, the complaining posts make me stabby. That's the part I can't stand.

And Bruins, you are one of the most considerate people I know. I could stand to see some more MT on FB, that cutie patootie. ;-)

poppies717 · March 2014

Pics/Updates that bother me: any type of announcement, pregnancy updates, complaints about pregnancy/parenthood

I don't mind seeing pictures until they are more than 1/every few days.

FutureMrsWright2012 · March 2014

I've come to expect the fact that most of my friends that are around the same age as me have kids that they feel the urge to constantly post about (3T or not). When I'm having a bad 3T day, I just avoid going onto FB altogether. Instead, I just go onto Google+ where I have no friends or TN to see what's going on with you all.

I don't really post much on FB now, so I don't anticipate that changing if we are ever able to get pregnant. I'm pretty sure DH will be that annoying person though…

brij2006 · March 2014

For me, I could care less how much or how often a 3T person posts their kids on their FB. It's something that helps me remain hopeful. That we too, could get that same outcome through treatment, adoption, or however it may come.

The posts that aggravate me are ones who post all the time. No matter what it's about. One of my friends posted 6 baby wearing related pictures of her son and articles within 38 minutes yesterday. Another friend posts every time she eats something healthy or works out. Her average posts per day are 10. Annoying!

poppies717 · March 2014

I should also add that I only have 1 FB friend who has a baby who went through 3T (that I know of), but she was not at all open about their journey. So I may have lots of IVF babies on my feed, but no one is open about it.

fajita814 · March 2014

We are currently trying to adopt after our 3T journey ended without a biological child. I post almost nothing (no pictures, 2-3 vague statuses) on my regular FB page. It just doesn't seem right to have it on there. I do have a secret group on FB (small, family and very close friends only) where I post a lot. I use it more like a blog where I share updates/pictures/emotions/etc. our journey has been fabulous and heart wrenching at the same time. Anyways....the private group has worked well for us. If people want to see it they can look, if not they can hide it.

DangerMuffin23 · March 2014

I never know how much I count in these discussions because I never ended up getting tx for our issue, but I'd say with adoption I'd love to see the post, probably more so than just your regular baby pics. That's probably weird of me. But like bruins said, everything in moderation.

nfp147 · March 2014

I don't have much to add. I find the "poor me I'm pregnant" posts really annoying, but I hide those people. Wouldn't it be nice to have a real-life hide button for annoying people???

My excitement for individuals varies; I would be so excited to see pics of babies of the 3T ladies!

seahorse01 · March 2014

I'm a pretty bitter person, but I don't really get riled up when I see somebody who went through 3T hell posting pictures of their child. I get much more annoyed by those that brag about how easy it was for them to get KU.

rccola1981 · March 2014

I wouldn't be offended by a cute adoption announcement at all. Like many of the other ladies have mentioned it is the oh woe is me I'm pregnant posts that piss me off. I'm not Facebook friends with any of you but I would love to see my 3T ladies all get our babies however that happens.

Amberley18 · March 2014

I agree that any overused FB is annoying no matter what it is regarding. With that said, I also believe that it is a place where you can share some of life's moments with the people you care about.

I do not post frequently at all, but do occasionally share a photo or video. I had to quit FB entirely when I was in the midst of 3T and don't want my posts to be a source of pain for others.

CincodeMayoLove · March 2014

This is something I struggle with all the time. I am a picture whore on fb. And I get requests for pictures from friends and family all the time now. I send them a pic on my phone or private message if they ask. Your sentence "I just can't wait to show we finally got out happy ending" is kinda how I feel. I feel like because I don't post pictures every turn, people might not get how truly greatful I am. But, people that have talked to me in real life in the past several months know the truth and that's how it should be.
Also, bump pictures and baby pictures have never bothered me, even on my most bitter days, uNLESS they were paired with a complaint. I hate fb complaining of all types, esp pg/kid related.
That said, out of respect for you all and others I know that have had/are having struggles, I keep my posts to big days only (announcement, gender reveal, showers soon) and am more than happy to do so. I will do my best to do the same with the baby and expect my buds to not be afraid to keep me in check if I don't!

CBH-- 3T-ers come in

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