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My Inlaws do not want to travel for the wedding
Hi all. Im a big fan of this website but this is my first time posting a question. I had just gotten engaged to an amazing man. In regards to our wedding we wouldn't want a very formal affair (i.e. no real reception, immediate family only, no renting major decorations, no fancy invitations, haha not really a lot). We both just love to travel and aren't good at being the center or attention. we decided on a destination wedding. I loved the idea right of the bat and so did he. we want it in europe and our guest list is about 10 people plus us. The concern is that my inlaws apparently hate to travel. The culture shock is not their cup of tea and my fiance is not even sure they would come, Im crushed because id forgo or compromise on every other detail of our wedding (other than the groom of course ! hahah) but the overseas location. My fiance is optimistic, joking that we could simply ship his parents. my mom is thrilled at the idea of going over seas. I just dont want to start our married life together with his parents uncomfortable.
What do you say guys? should i push for a destination wedding or try to keep everyone happy?
Best Answers
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artbyallie member
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Hisprinc3ss member
Congrats!!
I know it may be disappointing to know they don't want to travel. Take into consideration that you are opting for the non-traditional wedding so they don't get to experience the tradition they may have waited for.
As much as your wedding is about you and your groom, the celebrations are usually what brings the family together. Compromise on a different location, and for your honeymoon you and your beloved can enjoy Europe together.
Happy planning!
Re: My Inlaws do not want to travel for the wedding
First , congrats!!!
Before sending out invites & booking things, do some research to what you can do to make a trip like this as easy as possible for your in laws. Like trying to find an area where English is fluently spoken so they won't have to deal with any or little language issues. Also, think of this, will you or another family member be available or want to entertain them their whole visit. Maybe they would feel better if there is another person who is going who they can fly with and travel with, basically a travel buddy who is experienced and can help them with dealing with different customs & also dealing with customs at the airport. Or even if you can get someone to travel with them, you can book them on a guide tour that will take them around Europe after their wedding who will do the rest of the planning for them. Also in the process figure out prices for lodging, travel & etc, passports so you can give them an idea of how much it will cost. This way they can figure out if they can afford a trip like this (other guests may need the same info on travel, hotel etc to get an idea of how much to save up)
If it's going to cause more of headache then it seems worth it, I would say have a private ceremony in the states somewhere special & honeymoon in Europe.
I think given most of the posts on here and what the wedding industry wants you to belive that most people just don't consider it a "real reception" anymore unless you spent a ton of money renting a big hall with a catered dinner and a huge cake with a big live band.
From the way I read it, I took it to mean she was skipping the huge wasteful expense and just taking everyone out to dinner or something similar.
Hi Guys! Thanks so much for all the responses. To clarify, yes I have every intention of taking our family out for a nice dinner (a couple of nice dinners), and hopefully see if they'd want to cite see. I suppose no huge reception means no large rented space, catering or huge cake. Im hearing what you're saying that asking people to travel for your wedding is a large request and i wouldn't expect any friends or extended relatives to make that choice (hence the really intimate wedding). That being said, i think the concern isn't so much monetary as it is comfort. Hopefully my fiance and i can find a place in at least North America (since i know his parents love travelling there) that we're all happy with.
Again thanks for all the responces
DH and I had a destination wedding on the beach, barefoot in the sand. It was something we both decided on, and we have NO regrets. It was very small. Only 4 other people besides ourselves. When we got back to Cali, we threw a huge stressful reception for all to attend. Can't complain... I did get to wear my beautiful dress twice