Getting Pregnant
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Wanting to get pregnant..hubby worried about money

I've been married for about 2 years now and have baby on the brain really bad. I have talked to my husband about it and all he can talk about is how much everything is going to cost. I understand kids aren't cheap but it's really starting to annoy me...how can I get him to see the full picture and not just the money...Please help me!

Re: Wanting to get pregnant..hubby worried about money

  • I don't think you can ever be financially ready for a baby. We wanted to have at least 6 months emergency savings before we even started trying, and then we started putting money aside for a baby. It didn't work out so well for us (getting pregnant can be expensive), but it sounds like you and your DH need to work out a financial plan. Lots of couples TTA while they put themselves in a better financial spot. I think you'd be surprised how quickly you can have that extra cash cushion for baby expenses.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • How are your finances now?

    You don't want to have a baby until your spouse is 110% on board. It is really hard and a lot of work. You need someone who is supportive and involved not resentful and unhappy.
    "How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
  • kgbk27 said:
    I've been married for about 2 years now and have baby on the brain really bad. I have talked to my husband about it and all he can talk about is how much everything is going to cost. I understand kids aren't cheap but it's really starting to annoy me...m >

    What do mean besides the money? Love, family? I'd be willing to bet he's already aware of those things, but he's still worried about the finances. Maybe he is the one who is seeing the full picture.
    Married 2011.
    Baby Boy 2015.
  • Have you guys sat down and made a plan? Do you know his timeline or if he has a plan to feel more stable? Does he want kids? My advice sit down and have a long talk.
  • Just poke a hole in the condom. 

    image
    Baby Boy born 5.3.15


  • JMalettasJMalettas member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited March 2014
     I agree, that it's hard to say when you can officially 100% afford a baby. I don't think many people are 100% 'sure'. There's always the chance of unexpected expenses, etc. At the same time, there are situations that are more obvious signs that you should wait. Are you living paycheque to paycheque now? Do you have a ton of debt on top of your living expenses? Can you afford to take time off once the baby is born-(ie:do you have maternity leave, or will one income be enough). If not, can you afford daycare? There's just a lot of necessary things to take into consideration. Maybe you already have, or maybe you need to sit down & go over everything with your husband, and get a more realistic look at how much you're paying to living expenses & mandatory payments. 

     If it really isn't a financial problem, then I think this calls for an in depth conversation with your husband, in general. Maybe you're not clear on his thoughts about children, or maybe he truly is concerned about the cost, & needs to see on paper that you can in fact afford it. Maybe it's something else? Bottom line though, is you're going to need to figure it out, and work something out, before thinking of getting pregnant. 

     Good luck! :)

     *J
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